Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

Original poster

Advice on balancing work with school aged children

12 replies

Llan349 · 30/01/2025 07:55

Hi Everyone,

I'm seeking advice or experiences or how others have navigated trying to have a career/job whilst also wanting to be present for my young child now and when they start school. Something I don't feel I have been able to do currently and makes me very unhappy.

Scenario is I work full time (5 days a week) in media and my child will be starting school in September. I don't love my job but it supports our finance/mortgage requirements. I can flex this to drop down to a four day week soon to allow us a day extra a week to be together until he starts school.

My ideal would be that I was able to be present for my child before and after school - at least some of the working week (more than one day though).

We don't have any family close by who can help.

We're also looking to relocate and open to downsizing to help make finances more manageable.

My questions are:

The job I do doesn't work part time so it would mean I change - but what options are there?

Is leaving a 14 year career and doing something part time career suicide or just a career pause?

Has anyone successfully navigated the above and how did you do it?

Finances are obviously a consideration, how did you manage this shift and ultimately was it worth it for what you got back for your family?

It just feels like work life/timings and parent life conspire against each other and it's an impossible riddle to solve!

Thank you in advance.

OP posts:

frostydaytoday · 30/01/2025 08:57

Do you have a husband? What is he planning, thoughts.

I changed jobs after having children to one that didn't require me to travel, took a bit of a pay cut and worked 4 days a week. But as soon as I could I went up to full time. I am so glad I did, as my kids are at secondary, and I have continued to progress and I feel as if we have a comfortable life now and can support the children. Compared to my best friend who took a lower level job in the same company and works 3 days and now struggles financially. However my husband also changed his job, so we equally shares the school runs / sickness etc. we don't have any family that can help us near by. It's not been easy but now my youngest is 11 and eldest is 16 I'm so glad we made the choices we did

I also strongly believe marriage is hard when you have kids so making sure you're able to be financially secure is really important. I know too many women who are divorced and struggling financially as they took the hit in their careers when they had children.

Namechange13101 · 30/01/2025 09:05

I dropped from full time to 32 hours a week and do 9-3 and can then do all the drop offs and pick ups as I work 10mins from school. The other two hours I do on a long day as my husband works shifts and usually has 1 or 2 weekdays off each week. So on those days he does school run and afterschool clubs like swimming and ballet and I make up my extra hours. Generally works well for us and plan is that I up my hours back up when kids are at secondary. It is a juggle though!

parietal · 30/01/2025 09:28

Does your job have fixed hours 9-5 or flexible hours? The latter can be much easier. Can your DH flex hours and do his part?

We had an after school nanny who did 3-7pm 3 days per week and that was marvellous. She did kids laundry and dinner and baths, and I did one evening and DH did one evening. It meant I could keep my prop job going full time.

Original poster

Llan349 · 30/01/2025 11:48

Thank you for your replies - yes am married and husband is working full time. We wouldn't be able to manage if he changed working hours too. We do share all life admin/childcare equally - agree when finances are tough it makes everything so much harder too. My desire to change my working life is simply to spend more time with my child when he is younger and needs me more.

Have considered the option of dropping down a level at work/taking something three days a week and it is that worry- that I would never get back to where I was before.

OP posts:

parietal · 30/01/2025 21:45

I think you really need to think about what you want from your career. In most 'career' type jobs, taking a long break really isn't good for career progression. You'd need to look for other women in your industry and see what they have done.

if you want to stick to full time and make the career work, there are lots of ways to do that.

if you step back from your career, it is likely that when you are ready to come back to work, you'll need to find something rather different to your current path.

TallNeckedGiraffe · 30/01/2025 21:49

My oldest child is late 20s. Youngest mid twenties. I worked part time since eldest was 5 months old. Worked out really well for us as a a family.

Parker231 · 30/01/2025 21:55

Llan349 · 30/01/2025 11:48

Have considered the option of dropping down a level at work/taking something three days a week and it is that worry- that I would never get back to where I was before.

Why can’t your DH make a flexible working request so he is available to do some of the school runs.

DH did the morning drop offs at breakfast club and I collected from after school club.

AliMonkey · 30/01/2025 22:19

If you and DH can both shift your hours (one starts early, finishes early, the other starts late and finishes late; or you do alternative long days and short days on the opposite days to each other) then you may find you can continue to work FT or close to FT and still be there for your DC on some days. Having said that, I chose to drop to 3dpw from when they were babies (had been with my firm a long time and they wanted to keep me) and on those three days, one of us would drop off at breakfast club and the other pick up from after school club (both had over an hour's commute so wasn't possible to shift hours enough to drop off at 8.45 and pick up at 3.15). For me, that worked best but I know it doesn't work for everyone's finances, and actually having that time 2dpw when they were at school enabled me to get housework / life admin / shopping done and therefore I could be more present with them at other times and life was finally back to feeling a little bit under control. Problem with working all the time they are at school is that you never get a moment to yourself (other than maybe your work commute).

I'm curious though as to why you chose to work FT when they were babies/toddlers and only now they are at school are thinking of reducing your hours? Or was that purely a financial decision?

Wintersoltice · 30/01/2025 22:37

It strikes me that you don't love your job, so seems like it could be a good option to make a move. Are there any sideways moves you could make to another role within your company or industry that has more flexibility? Are you familiar enough with all the possible roles? You need something with some WFH or part time, or just flexible hours. I agree your DH should look to try and get some flex to do a pick up per week too.

We've both worked FT since DC2 was at preschool, but always had one parent mostly WFH so it eased the pressure a bit as they could do drop offs etc. Also I negotiated a bit of flexibility to do one pick up per week which I still do. I recently made a sideways move to a new role which is mostly WFH which helps as DH has done the opposite! It's definitely more socially isolating WFH, but also less stressful as I was always rushed off my feet with the office role + commute.

Zanatdy · 31/01/2025 05:51

Your husband should be looking to do one of the drop offs. It shouldn’t just fall to you. I personally wouldn’t give up my career. Marriages fail (a lot of them) and every day on MN you see women wondering how they start up a career again after a break. If you have to leave to work part time, then have a look at what is around, but I would think carefully. My youngest is 17 now and I worked a mix of part time - full time. Majority full time but I did 3 days for a few years due to a health issue and it was nice to collect the DC from school those days. But they were fine in the wrap around club, and I was still home for 6ish so a few hours to spend with the DC. We had no family around and my ex also went to work overseas for several years so it was all left to me. Not easy, but on the other side now.

Powderblue1 · 31/01/2025 05:58

Hi OP, I dropped down a level at work when I had my first DC and went to 2.5 days a week. My youngest has just started school and I'm still PT. But for us the dynamics are different in that my DH works insane hours so I take care off all house chores etc and he is now a high earner which alleviates any financial pressures although my job is still senior and I get a good wage.

The after school routine on the days I work can be very tricky trying to juggle the kids and finish up working. The days I'm off I get plenty of housework done, prep tea and time for after school clubs and sports and time is much more enjoyable.

Laruca · 31/01/2025 07:07

My husband and I work full time, but we both have flexibility with working hours. He does the drop offs at school and I do the pick ups. I work from home 7am to 3pm 4 days a week and I go to the office once a week only. The day I go to the office, the kids are in after school club until 4.30pm. We also chose to live not too far from our offices to have a short commute (30 mins). This means I can be with the kids in the afternoon and take them to after school activities. I requested this working patern when my oldest started school and it has worked very well for us

Flip