How to work around my small children!?

[mommyandmore]

We have a 2 year old and a baby due in the Spring. I'm currently a teacher but will be stopping work as will need more flexibility and I want to spend more time with my children. I do still however need to earn some money whilst they are little. What do other parents do? I'm super flexible regarding what it is I do just as long as I can have some financial independence! DH and I live a good hours drive away from family so sadly they are not an option to help. Any advice or suggestions hugely appreciated! X

How long can you he out of teaching for a career break without significant retraining? I had a career which I could take 2 years break from without significant disruption. I took that option but then decided I didn't want to go back to doing that. Now my kids are in school/preschool I'm now looking at school based jobs so I can work term time and minimise the childcare costs. It would be good to keep your teaching options open for the future.

In response to the financial side, as a family we took the hit of only 1 wage coming in. We cut back on a lot of essentials and adapted to the money we had. We have a joint account so there was completely transparency and equality with access to money.

Part-time Housekeeping, evenings/weekends
Tutoring, evenings only

I found an admin role, typing up Surveyor’s reports, four evenings per week, 6pm-11pm

Because you simply don't know the questions before having kids.

Many things change then you are responsible for children. Things you knew nothing about about before being parents.

I change becoming a mum. Of course I did.
Work was still important but suddenly DC were more important.
I studied 6.5 year at university and I was really good at my job. And I loved it - but I had to adjust to family life.

Our children aren't young anymore. Our youngst DD is 11 yo on her way to secondary school.
I see my young coworkers go though exactly the same as we did then having kids. Transforming from 'only focusing on working to focus on working & being a family'.
I think it's very normal and human.

There isn't really any magic options here.

Either,

A. Use childcare to work during the day midweek. Presumably you would earn the most by staying in teaching. You could go part-time.

B. Work evenings and weekends around your DH's hours, avoiding the need for childcare. Presumably you wouldn't be earning much.

Personally I think A is the easier option, B leaves you so little time together as a couple and a family.

I condensed my hours after having DD and will be returning to work on a phased return after 10 months with our second. I’ve learnt through bitter experience I’m a much better mum for having the work/mum balance, love my job and as much as DH is wonderful I value my financial freedom greatly. DD goes to nursery 4 days and her DB will do the same.

I have always worked part time while my dc were little. They went to nursery 3 days a week. It was a good balance for us, I wouldn't have wanted full time and the childcare fees would have been astronomical.
If you could do part time in your teaching role I'd say that's a very good option as you'd get holidays off.

@MumChp, she's already got one kid and another on the way.

Evening babysitting via an agency such as Sitters?

I did laugh a little when someone suggested teaching is flexible.
The holidays are nice yes, but teaching is incredibly hard during term time with young children. It's a very stressful job, and you'll likely struggle to make things like sports day, nativities etc especially full time.

If you can handle the stress, part time is a good option.

Well sure, both of my options apply to both parents equally. For the record, we both stayed FT and flex our hours to get an afternoon each with the kids. But it's OP asking, and from a point of view of preference not necessity.

Sessional tutoring in adult education or online/ in person tutoring for companies like Explore

There won't be similar posts on Dadsnet. There barely is a Dadsnet. We both know that at the population level, men are shit at taking responsibility for their kids and adjusting their lives for their new responsibilities.

I still don't think this is particularly relevant to this thread though. OP has a 2yo, she's remained in work. She knows they can continue as is if they want - she doesn't want. Maybe he's fine with continuing as is - I am. She's the one who wants to make a change.

I have a few friends who wanted to leave teaching due to hours / flexibility. They have found it very difficult to get more flexible work that pays a reasonable amount of money and worked around their families - all but one have gone back.
This is obviously dependent on your subject - might be easier to get work if you have a STEM degree for example - and your geographical location. But, I work in PR / marketing and can tell you there is almost zero flexibility - I'm on 6am train to see clients all the time, working late etc... I have friends in law, engineering, finance who experience similar - the grass isn't necessarily greener. Obviously if you tutor that might work - but will it? I have a tutor for my son, who he sees at 3.30 after school. I wouldn't wait for a session at 7.30 post bedtime. Can your partner flex his job around those sorts of hours? Will you both always be working - we did this during covid. I worked in the morning, my husband worked the afternoon and we both caught up at night. Then we ate and slept and that was it. We had no choice as nurseries were closed. But, we'd never do it out of choice - sacrificing our marriage wouldn't be worth it!
Obviously you have a long time to think it through. And you're just exploring right now. But do think carefully esp if you like your school. You might not be able to go back into another school that is as nice if you change your mind.

Exactly. Why is it expected for mothers to take a hit on the career? OP needs to ask her husband to change his working pattern and also pay for childcare.

I was a teacher and did one year with two small children and then couldn't face anymore. It is the least flexible job apart from the holidays. I had moments where I was desperate for my kids to go to sleep so I could mark work and hated that. I joined the civil service and though I'm a bit bored (and it was a big pay drop) I'll take that as I am able to take my daughter to school every day. It's really flexible and they are paying more for me to do a qualification in my first year that I had spent on my development in teaching in 12 years. I miss teaching but don't think I can ever go back.

Teaching is not perfectly flexible for raising children. A double teacher household has real headaches: but one teacher and one not in a more flexible role can work. Once DC are 3 and up and going to term time nursery, evening tutoring is much worse. Free all the time they are in school, then working once then get home. Similarly supply isn’t great with young children unless there’s very flexible childcare in place: if you get the call for work you can’t take it up with a 18 month old at home.

there are 15 years ahead of the OP of DC then teenagers at home in the holidays.

Yes, I am. Have you ever tried covering all of the school holidays while working FT?

You can laugh all you want but there are careers that are one hell of a less flexible.

The holidays are one of the main flexible options!! And other careers are "incredibly hard" for 48 weeks a year!

And I have a teacher currently living in my house and I am not seeing the levels of stress that get so much complained about!

Supply teaching would be difficult to find ad-hoc childcare if you don't have family nearby.
Surely you realise that other parents work and use childcare??

Stick with the teaching, you won’t regret it in future with salary, holidays and pension.

Cut your days as much as possible- 2 ideally and find a decent nursery or child for those two days. Going to work 2 days makes you enjoy parenting more IMO!