Rejected even with interview questions in advance. What now

[ASDnocareer]

I work in public sector and was just rejected at final interview stage for an internal role. Previously rejected for other internal roles too, despite always meeting objectives etc. This time I really thought I had a chance as I’d done the same type of role previously but at another company, arguably with more responsibility.

I have autism and after asking, the interviewer agreed to send all candidates questions in advance. I first prepped my answers myself, and then asked ChatGPT if my sample answers answered the question and used STAR correctly. ChatGPT proposed tweaks I thought helped with polishing up the structure but then for interview I tried to say it in my own words but keep structure.

Still received yet another rejection.

My feedback was to speak slower and not overwhelm with detail, also to use STAR.
^I thought I’d always been using STAR funnily enough, have known about it since interviewing for uni internship (which I landed), ChatGPT also helped confirm that I was using STAR. I’m not sure why they didn’t think I was using STAR.

I just really don’t know what to do now, I’ve been rejected many times before but this one has stung so badly, because I did this role before in private sector. I’m genuinely terrified that I won’t get a better paid job. My wage does not cover my living costs, have had no heating all winter, and sometimes skip meals.
Have paid for CV review (more affordable than career coach which are so expensive), on a mentoring scheme, good performance reviews, joined network groups but none of it has been enough for me to find a job above admin level, despite having a degree and no CV gaps.

i hire a lot, for me the key feedback is about you overwhelming them with detail. If this is for a team role this is quite off putting as it implies someone who will talk all the time or email incessantly about things / not know when to jsut get on with the job. I have had someone like this working in a shared office with me and it was hard, she ran every detail past people and it was so distracting

I would try to practice far briefer answers and really try to keep a handle on the waffling

Do you have someone you trust, who will do mock interviews with you?

Someone who knows the process well, knows you well and is prepared to give you honest feedback and direction in terms of what to change.

@User7288339 just to confirm, when asking for questions in advice I raise request with the HR recruitment team who contact the interviewer panel on behalf of me. There will be a HR contact who deals with reasonable adjustments and then guide the panel, it’s mentioned on application if you need adjustments contact xyz email (not the panel).

In my request I didn’t justify why I need them, I just say I’m diagnosed with ASD and say something like
‘Just wondering if possible please could I receive a copy of questions in advance’ - if HR think it’s reasonable they’ll send to panel, and confirm they’ve done so.

Unfortunately no not really, and I worry it’s a very big ask of someone anyway because I’m not going to resolve my issues in one mock, I’ll likely need a lot of practice. Hence, paying for this service may be better idea

@Balloonhearts 💐 I’m so sorry to hear, and wishing you the best of luck in finding something suitable.
The current job market really doesn’t help but I’m trying to at least focus on things I can fix in the meantime such as my poor interview skills.

It's so hard though as many times successful interviewees say they are successful because they literally stick to the format and do not deviate. They have said that early on when they tried to inject their personality they got rejections but once they almost robotically stuck to script they got through.

I'm older thank goodness. I don't think I'd cope with today's interviews. They seem to be all about how well a candidate sits the interview rather than his well they would do the job/fit the team.

Ultimately although it's a horrible process to go through repeated rejection, each time it happens it doesn't necessarily mean you did something wrong, it just means someone else did slightly better, overall.

I think giving that sort of feedback along with "constructive" feedback as to what you could improve, would really help candidates feel better.

In my experience of hiring, we tend to only interview 3-4 people and most of the time they all do well. But sometimes there is a standout person who's done some great research beforehand, shows clear enthusiasm for joining the team and the organisation, and maybe gives a killer answer to one of the non-competency based elements (we have a values question for example).

If they feel it's appropriate to give negative feedback on something that is most likely related to someone's disability, as a reason why they didn't get the job then the company is unlikely to have a good day to day attitude towards disabled employees. So yeah, she dodged a bullet. Most workplaces are hard enough to navigate for autistic people, so id see that feedback as a red flag.

So being completely honest, as an interviewer I have steered people towards STAR when they haven't really answered the question.

To give an example from health; if I was asking how someone they had dealt with a situation with a challenging patient or relative, my scoring would be looking for mention of things like

• tone of voice
• body language/non-verbal communication
• listening
• empathy
• understanding the other persons position
• apology if appropriate
• problem solving
• consideration for other patients & staff

The result I'd be looking for is that the interviewee had been able to calm the person down and resolve the issue. And I'd also be wanting them to demonstrate some of those skills as they answer.

But some people will instead say, oh I'm a really good communicator, I have done this a lot, without telling me how (and what's important). And I can't award a good score.

I may feel like it's a big ask but there will be people who are happy to help. I do it a lot at work and I'm happy to help people woth their career as a lot of people help me in the past. Usually it takes 3 - the first one, then second one after giving feedback and then the final one just to make sure everything is covered.

Usually, it's just little things like cutting down some parts and expanding on others. Ensuring the examples used are the best fit for the questions etc

I noticed you mentioned earlier about mentoring - perhaps you could ask your mentor. They will be used to requests like that.

@Toodilingalong If you live paycheck to paycheck, flatshare, can’t afford heating and sometimes skip meals, then you’re likely not in a position to start a family.
I don’t have the money or time to date now anyway as my life almost feels ‘on hold’ until I get a job that gives me a basic standard of living.

I feel physically unattractive anyway due to stress and not being able to spend on even ‘basic’ beauty maintenance, have worsening hair loss (potentially stress related) that I can’t prioritise sorting right now.
Also, there’s the slight stigma of being in low skilled work for too long, you’re perceived as lazy and/or unintelligent. Everyone has to start somewhere, but it’s expected you don’t stay in these types of roles for this long and certainly not at my age. Even more so if you have a degree. (unless you have wealthy parents or partner to fall back on).

Hmm I’m not sure why MN has deleted quite a few pp comments for ‘breaking rules’??

I’m not sure why those posts have been deleted. Are we not allowed to criticise ChatGPT now? That seems rather sinister.

I think you would really benefit from a mentor (or 2) who would meet you say, monthly and you could practice with them, get feedback, try again next month. They might help you find what’s stopping you.

On a separate point, you might consider starting another thread on budget - listing incomings and outgoings, the thought of you skipping meals is very sad.

All the best.

Do you recognise that people with ASD may present differently and be just as competent? If you are looking for typical body language and empathy, you could be missing out on skilled staff who happen to have ASD.

I'm lucky that although I have ASD I'm also a good actor, so I can play the role required for interview (and generally in the job). But it really is exhausting.

Do you recognise that people with ASD may present differently and be just as competent? If you are looking for typical body language and empathy, you could be missing out on skilled staff who happen to have ASD.

We are a service provider, so yes I recognise different presentations.  However, as the "challenging" people referred to in the question, are very likely to be disregulated or having an autistic meltdown. I need staff who are able to calm them so that we can continue to work with them and meet their needs.

I would also never presume that people with autism don't have empathy, or are incapable of mirroring body language. It's a really disablist attitude. And as it happens, several members of our team are ND and are excellent at their jobs.

Having said that, I also recognise that some people with autism don't always articulate the key points that we are looking for, because to them it's so blindingly obvious, that it doesn't need saying. I try to probe and ask a follow up question to give the candidates another go at it if I think this is the case.

Back to the OP - coaching & mentoring sounds like a good way forward. If you wanted to, you could also give a modified example of a question and people can try to give you different ways it could be answered.

But do take heart, someone else getting a job ahead of you doesn't mean you can't do it or that you don't matter.

@CarefulN0w a good idea, and thank you 😊

just wanted to add thank you all again, sorry if I missed few posts will try to get back but has been busy week. It really means so much how willing you are to offer suggestions