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Original poster

Going back to work full time, feeling apprehensive..

10 replies

thehappyprince · 07/05/2008 11:02

I'm going back to work on Monday, full time (with out of hours as well) and ds is going to childminders 5 days a week. Luckily I found a lovely cm but I'm still apprehensive about going back. How have others coped with going back f/t? ds is only 7 months old so am feeling guilty, and wishing p/t was an option! I suspect dh & ds will get a shock when I'm not there overnight or on weekends too as ds still waking up 1-2 times. On the plus side, he's settled well with cm and isn't yet overly clingy. Any positive experiences with f/t gratefully received!

OP posts:

RubySlippers · 07/05/2008 11:04

i went to back FT when DS was 6 months old

It sounds like you have found good childcare so that is great

It is hard - you need to be organised (things like bags packed, and clothes out the night before, set alarm for 10 mins earlier than you think you need to)

Give yourselves 3 months to get into the swing of things and adust to the new routine

The guilt - well, tis part and parcel of motherhood (whether you work or not)

Original poster

thehappyprince · 07/05/2008 12:23

Thanks RubySlippers - yes, have had a couple of trial runs and just bought a pile of pre-packaged fruit purees etc. as realising I will struggle to find time to stew apples amongst the washing, bag packing etc! Thanks for the encouragement. Will do my best to be uncharacteristically organised. I suspect work will be a breeze.

OP posts:

Lasvegas · 07/05/2008 13:46

I returned full time when DD was 7 months old, she was with a Nanny though so it was easier, but then again I was a single parent. DD now aged 5 and I have to say no different to her peers in reception whose mothers didn't work (in fact her 'academic abilities') are in the top 10%. I would say part time is more beneficial when they are at school as they need to chat with their mum about the peer relationships etc and help with home work.

bbpants · 08/05/2008 15:09

I've now been back at work full time for about 1.5 months, and despite my fears, it's fine. Really. (I posted on here a few months ago fearing I was the devil for going full time but there is a good few of us around!) Don't feel guilty - I went back with the view that if it worked, then great. If it didn't, we'd have to come up with something else.

Yes, organisation is the key, and, yes, I get really stroppy with my DH when I'm the one doing all the organising , but it's ok. In fact, it's given me a bit of a new lease of life (shh, don't tell anyone!).

The house gets a bare minimum of cleaning on a Saturday morning, and I try to batch cook and stick meals in the freezer for nights when I can't be bothered.

I am worried/wondering what I'm going to do when DD is ready for school, however. Not sure how I'll manage that working full time, but that's 3 years away so I won't worry too much yet!

Sunshinemummy · 08/05/2008 15:17

I've worked full-time since DS was 7m and he's now 2.2. Worst thing is missing DS, especially as the mall under my office is always full of mummies and babies at lunchtime.

Key for me is making sure I utilise the time I have with DS properly, which means paying a cleaner to come and clean, tidy and iron for a morning each week. This means that, apart from laundry, I don't have a huge amount of housework to do at the weekend so DS and I can do things together.

Original poster

thehappyprince · 08/05/2008 16:00

Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou everyone for your posts. Am feeling less stressed already. I will definitely need to make the most of weekends and evenings, but won't be desperate for ds to have a nap so i can do other things. Quality time, eh.

OP posts:

emmabemmasmom · 10/05/2008 11:20

Oh it is good to know that others feel the way I do. My Emma is 6 months and I am applying for full time jobs. I have already found her a great childminder and am planning a few days of visits next week (even before interviews).

However, I am feeling pulled in two directions. First my husband would rather I stayed home as he wants to provide...which is nice and all, but the money I make, even if half goes to childcare, will take a load off him and me.(however he is very very supportive and told me to apply for the dream job and when I got the interview he made dinner to celebrate!) But it is not just the money...I have always worked and had my own identity and I feel like I am loosing that. I love Emma to bits and always will but I want to define myself as more than a mom...I just think that going back to work will give me a bit more sanity as a person.

Second, I am feeling totally guilty as I always said I wanted to be an at home mom...and after 6 months I feel like I am running away from it all. It makes me feel like a bad mom for giving in so early...I don't know if any of this makes sense...it doesn't to my husband...I just know that I need to do this for me...but I am so used to putting myself last that putting myself first in this instance makes me feel horrible...

Yet I am secretly hoping I get the job on Tuesday...Oh I need help! lol

daisym · 10/05/2008 17:25

I found things worked OK until my daughter came down with the usual coughs, colds and sickness bugs. Had to take loads of time off work as nursery wouldnt obviously look after her - though guess a childminder may be more flexible about looking after a poorly baby? Used to feel racked with guilt about the amount of time I had to take off work to stay home with my sick baby but I'm over that now! I just tell myself theres nothing I can do about it, if my babys sick then shes sick and all the guilt in the world wont change it.

elkiedee · 12/05/2008 00:40

I went back to work full time at 10 months at the beginning of March. Seem to have been lucky with CM, DS stopped crying at drop off after 3 days, now he doesn't want to leave, and always seems happy to get there.

I've found the good weather and being able to take him to the very local park and new playground there have helped us adjust, as we take him most days to play there for a little while before going home to get settled for bed. But that does depend on some lucky timing - dp collects 4 days a week and on my days my dad often comes to help me.

llareggub · 12/05/2008 06:29

I went back full-time when DS was 10 months old. Like others have said, organisation is the key. That and lowering your housekeeping standards to the lowest possible denominator.

I worked compressed hours (ie 37 hours over 4 days) so had a day off in the week, which I found to be one way of spending some quality time with DS.

I'm now part-time because a number of variables changed, making it easier for me to go part-time. If I'm honest this is the best solution for me at the moment BUT I would work full-time again.

So what other advice would I give? Well, I found it helped to fit in small jobs in the morning before leaving for work. Lists helped too! Order in the shopping from Ocado or whoever.

Most importantly, book some time off during the week now and again and have some time to yourself to relax. You WILL be tired so you do need to make sure you look after yourself, too. From the start make sure that you make organising childcare a joint responsibility between you and DH so it isn't always you taking time off/rushing to pick up. If nothing else you need joint intelligence on whether the CM is working out.

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