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NHS Volunteering - unpleasant behaviour

9 replies

Elizo · 28/01/2025 09:49

Have been volunteering in a hospital for a while now as I try to change career. A few times the woman who does the lunches has blamed a mistake on me. First time says you gave the wrong lunch, I said I absolutely did not. She had no proof. Second time she had clearly given out a wrong lunch but I heard her saying quietly to nurse ‘I told her not to give it out but she did.’ Third time another member of staff asked me a question which I must have misunderstood. Domestic woman got cross and said to him ‘I asked you…’he said ‘no it was her’ (me). She was visibly cross/ annoyed. Most of the time they are nice as pie and she goes out of her way to give me a free sandwich etc. Not sure how to handle this. Am a full time student and definitely don’t want any drama, volunteering is just to add some experience. Feeling uncomfortable about it. Any thoughts? I have noticed the staff are very quick to blame each other/ get annoyed about mistakes.

OP posts:
Hyperquiet · 28/01/2025 09:54

I'd just be really obvious and call it out to her every time the behaviour occurs

Elizo · 28/01/2025 09:58

I think this is the problem. Because I am ignoring it she is doing it more. I’m always a bit taken a back but I’ll be ready next time to speak up.

OP posts:
IfItWasUpToMeIWould · 22/02/2025 11:12

Elizo · 28/01/2025 09:49

Have been volunteering in a hospital for a while now as I try to change career. A few times the woman who does the lunches has blamed a mistake on me. First time says you gave the wrong lunch, I said I absolutely did not. She had no proof. Second time she had clearly given out a wrong lunch but I heard her saying quietly to nurse ‘I told her not to give it out but she did.’ Third time another member of staff asked me a question which I must have misunderstood. Domestic woman got cross and said to him ‘I asked you…’he said ‘no it was her’ (me). She was visibly cross/ annoyed. Most of the time they are nice as pie and she goes out of her way to give me a free sandwich etc. Not sure how to handle this. Am a full time student and definitely don’t want any drama, volunteering is just to add some experience. Feeling uncomfortable about it. Any thoughts? I have noticed the staff are very quick to blame each other/ get annoyed about mistakes.

Oh dear OP, this all sounds like a toxic environment.
When she accuses you of something just be firm but polite and with a smile say “Jean, with respect I did not do that, what I did do is x.y.z”
Or, “Oh, I can’t imagine why you’re saying that because that’s not what happened”.
This bullying is to cover up their own inadequacies, please don’t let them use you as their punch bag or scapegoat goat.
oh, and keep smiling, practice that smile and those phrases in front of the mirror because happiness is life’s greatest revenge. If they see you’re not bothered they’ll back off.
This is life sweetheart, see it as a learning curve, what doesn’t break you will make you stronger, and you’re going to meet and deal with arseholes like these on and off in life… they’re all out there, but so are lots of lovely, kind supportive people too.

IfItWasUpToMeIWould · 22/02/2025 11:14

Elizo · 28/01/2025 09:58

I think this is the problem. Because I am ignoring it she is doing it more. I’m always a bit taken a back but I’ll be ready next time to speak up.

Well done, this is exactly what you need to do

MumChp · 22/02/2025 11:24

Find another place. You aren't paid. Why bother?

NoneedtoquotetheOP · 22/02/2025 11:26

@IfItWasUpToMeIWould it’s right there, just one response up from yours, there’s no need to quote the op.

IfItWasUpToMeIWould · 22/02/2025 11:28

NoneedtoquotetheOP · 22/02/2025 11:26

@IfItWasUpToMeIWould it’s right there, just one response up from yours, there’s no need to quote the op.

Thanks for the lesson in MN etiquette, I’m a bit of a newbie

YourAmplePlumPoster · 22/02/2025 12:28

You are giving up your free time and being treated like dirt. Walk away and find another volunteering role.

ViciousCurrentBun · 22/02/2025 12:34

This is the joy of volunteering. If you want NHS experience ask to be moved to another section if it’s not that important go elsewhere. I have done a lot of voluntary work. I was harassed by older men in two places I volunteered. One dealt with it badly and I left, the other dealt with it well. The ‘ oh it’s just how older men are’ didn’t cut it for me with the first place.

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