Friend advice about jobs

NMc16 · 2025-01-27T09:27:06+00:00

I want to develop my career. Longest I’ve stayed in a job is 8 years and I’ve worled in other jobs before that. My friend had asked me ‘do employers not look at why you leave jobs so quick?’ I explained that I want to develop my career and by doing that I can’t stay in the same job forever. This person has had the same job since they were 18 and has been there well over 10 years. She talks about doing different qualifications but never acts on it. She doesn’t like change. The comment annoyed me and part of me thinks it’s from her own insecurities rather than about me. I’ve a good work ethic and I said that employers will know from my references whether I’m a good worker or not. She asks this question repeatedly if I so much as talk about jobs in other words she doesn’t want to understand or else doesn’t. She also said the same thing when I decided to move out of my parents house.

PotaytoPotahhto · 27/01/2025 09:30

Well she does have a point. Moving around often does raise questions. In my experience, those who have changed every 1-2 years are often difficult people to work with or not very good at their jobs.

But equally, if that’s not an issue in your industry and you’re able to find new roles easily, then you don’t need to worry about her comment.

Original poster

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 09:38

I see your point. I know difficult people who leave jobs because they say they were ‘bullied’. That normally sends alarm bells to me. I also know people who leave jobs shortly because another better opportunity comes along. It’s not right to tar everyone with the same brush.

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BobbyBiscuits · 27/01/2025 09:42

You should avoid saying you were bullied as a reason for leaving a job. I don't think that does people any favours. Even if it were true.
I stayed at the same place for 15 years as I was too scared of change. I can't manage other people to save my life and that's one of the only ways to progress in many sectors.
So I do see her point, but also you presumably know what you're doing. She clearly thinks her way is the right way, but maybe it isn't. Not even for her. So just ignore her so called advice.

Original poster

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 09:44

BobbyBiscuits · 27/01/2025 09:42

You should avoid saying you were bullied as a reason for leaving a job. I don't think that does people any favours. Even if it were true.
I stayed at the same place for 15 years as I was too scared of change. I can't manage other people to save my life and that's one of the only ways to progress in many sectors.
So I do see her point, but also you presumably know what you're doing. She clearly thinks her way is the right way, but maybe it isn't. Not even for her. So just ignore her so called advice.

Edited

Exactly. When someone tells me this which they have done before it normally just sends alarm bells. I don’t think it’s appropriate to tell employers this. Just my opinion

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LittleRedRidingHoody · 27/01/2025 09:47

It's also very industry dependent I think. I'm in tech and people bounce around quite a bit with no red flags (as long as min 1y in a role) ~ but for a teacher/nurse/some civil service roles etc I can see it being seen as a HUGE issue.

PersephonesPomegranate · 27/01/2025 09:47

I think staying in a role for as long as possible is a mindset from the older generations that younger people know is meaningless nowadays. I think the common thinking now is that 2 years is enough to absorb the new skills and that moving on fairly regularly is what keeps your salary and learning opportunities growing. I'd say 6 months-1 year is now concerned a short term role, with 1-2 years being pretty standard.

Loyalty used to be worth something but it's a one-way street now, in my opinion.
One example: my partner has been with the same construction company from 16 years old; he served his apprenticeship there. He got a small gift for his 10 years service. I asked him the other day what he'd be getting for his 20 years service that's coming up soon. Seems they binned off that kind of thing a good few years ago. So, if companies who are tens of millions of pounds in profit each year don't bother cheering on their loyal employees, why should employees offer their loyalty? I don't think my partner will ever jump ship: better the devil you know and also a fear of the unknown. I applaud people who are brave enough to drive their own ambition forward.

Original poster

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 09:51

I just don’t get the people that stay in jobs years and years and forever moan about it. Do something about it if you hate it that much and leave. Fair enough if it’s something you like but to constantly moan and complain is draining and unprofessional

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Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 27/01/2025 09:54

A lot of companies now accept that younger people will only stay about two years and are more likely to have company loyalty and want to live on more quickly.

It depends on why you have moved. I moved around a lot in the beginning because I was promoted or headhunted. If for the right reasons then fine.

Original poster

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 10:02

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 27/01/2025 09:54

A lot of companies now accept that younger people will only stay about two years and are more likely to have company loyalty and want to live on more quickly.

It depends on why you have moved. I moved around a lot in the beginning because I was promoted or headhunted. If for the right reasons then fine.

I’ve moved only for better job opportunities and pay

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MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/01/2025 10:07

There are four typical patterns that I've observed.

The first relates to people who are good at their jobs and stay in the same organisation for years and years. Typically, they have a lot of knowledge that they have built up through experience and they bring much-needed continuity/stability to the team. They are often very committed to their employers and supportive of newer staff.

The second relates to people who are capable and ambitious, and move around relatively frequently in order to progress their careers. They don't bring the same knowledge or experience as the people in the first category, but they do bring fresh insights and a strong desire to make their mark. This can mean that they contribute quite a lot within a short time span. Often, they are the drivers for change within an organisation.

Then there is the third category of people who are basically crap at what they do, and move around frequently because they are either forced out or jump before being pushed. They are generally a waste of space.

And the fourth category consists of people who are crap at their jobs but have somehow been allowed to stay in them for years without being held to account. That's just poor management!

IMO, the ideal scenario for an employer is to have a really good balance of people in the first and second categories and as few as possible in the third and fourth categories. So if I was recruiting and you had moved around a lot, it wouldn't necessarily put me off but I would be looking to see whether you fell into Category 2 or Category 3!

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 27/01/2025 11:01

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 10:02

I’ve moved only for better job opportunities and pay

Show quote history

Then that’s great. Do what’s right for you and don’t listen to others.

Original poster

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 11:16

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/01/2025 10:07

There are four typical patterns that I've observed.

The first relates to people who are good at their jobs and stay in the same organisation for years and years. Typically, they have a lot of knowledge that they have built up through experience and they bring much-needed continuity/stability to the team. They are often very committed to their employers and supportive of newer staff.

The second relates to people who are capable and ambitious, and move around relatively frequently in order to progress their careers. They don't bring the same knowledge or experience as the people in the first category, but they do bring fresh insights and a strong desire to make their mark. This can mean that they contribute quite a lot within a short time span. Often, they are the drivers for change within an organisation.

Then there is the third category of people who are basically crap at what they do, and move around frequently because they are either forced out or jump before being pushed. They are generally a waste of space.

And the fourth category consists of people who are crap at their jobs but have somehow been allowed to stay in them for years without being held to account. That's just poor management!

IMO, the ideal scenario for an employer is to have a really good balance of people in the first and second categories and as few as possible in the third and fourth categories. So if I was recruiting and you had moved around a lot, it wouldn't necessarily put me off but I would be looking to see whether you fell into Category 2 or Category 3!

I was in my last job for 8 years which I gained knowledge and experience and allowed to progress into a higher paid job with more career development opportunities so I would say between cat 1 and 2

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MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/01/2025 13:52

NMc16 · 27/01/2025 11:16

I was in my last job for 8 years which I gained knowledge and experience and allowed to progress into a higher paid job with more career development opportunities so I would say between cat 1 and 2

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Yeah, I wouldn't have any concerns about you moving if there was obvious career progression. I think your friend is putting unnecessary concerns in your mind tbh.