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Original poster

Grief at work advice please?

29 replies

RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 17:06

Hi all, I just need advice I have been getting hassle from a colleague for a year now for no reason. He does things to annoy me and rants and raves at me for no reason. He has removed me from the whatsapp group so i decided to make a group and he came ranting you cannot do that isolating me. One time he was ranting as I clocked in 7:45am when we start at 8am he comes in to work just looking for a argument/fight with me. I promise i have done nothing wrong to him I do not gossip about people I just keep my head down. Now he is using threats about having a fight etc. He has been in the office a few times with his behavior.

OP posts:
xyz111 · 26/01/2025 17:49

Who is this person? Manager, colleague?

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 18:51

This person is a colleague.

OP posts:
BCBird · 26/01/2025 18:53

This is ridiculous. Go to your line manager.

MissMoneyFairy · 26/01/2025 18:55

What action have management taken so far, have you reported his behaviour and threats.

TheignT · 26/01/2025 18:55

You really shouldn't have to put up with that. Go to your manager.

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 18:57

BCBird · 26/01/2025 18:53

This is ridiculous. Go to your line manager.

I am documenting everything then i will put a complaint in.
All i do is go to work keep my head down (be polite) and go home. I do not gossip etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:01

MissMoneyFairy · 26/01/2025 18:55

What action have management taken so far, have you reported his behaviour and threats.

I have written everything down I will go to my line manager.
My line manager had him in last week as he was trying to rant at the line manager.
The manager asked him to repair the photocopier in the office (we work in a workshop repairing printers) He told the manager it is not his job his job is to work in the workshop only.

OP posts:
SnarkSideOfLife · 26/01/2025 19:02

Make a bullying complaint with as much evidence as possible. Even removing you from a WhatsApp group can be bullying.

MissMoneyFairy · 26/01/2025 19:06

Record and write down his threats, your manager needs to deal with him, if he is threatening you with violence then either you or your manager need to call the police and have him removed.

Fatloss · 26/01/2025 19:07

I would not put together more evidence. Instead raise specific concerns with your manager. You can say that this has been longer term and you have tried to resolve however concentrate on recent things. Explain whether this has escalated. Otherwise I’d be asking why you have not raised this earlier than a year so that things could be addressed and instead kept a log

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:07

SnarkSideOfLife · 26/01/2025 19:02

Make a bullying complaint with as much evidence as possible. Even removing you from a WhatsApp group can be bullying.

I don`t mind him removing me from the group but he cant rant and rave that i have made a group with my friends in the group.
We do not talk much on the group chat only about sports/tv shows etc.

OP posts:
xyz111 · 26/01/2025 19:08

Don't wait, speak to your line manager tomorrow.

Fatloss · 26/01/2025 19:09

RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:07

I don`t mind him removing me from the group but he cant rant and rave that i have made a group with my friends in the group.
We do not talk much on the group chat only about sports/tv shows etc.

Show quote history

As it is in the context of work it can still be bullying even if it is not just or at all directly work related

JengaJanet · 26/01/2025 19:10

I think you should change the thread title, I thought a colleague had died.

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:12

MissMoneyFairy · 26/01/2025 19:06

Record and write down his threats, your manager needs to deal with him, if he is threatening you with violence then either you or your manager need to call the police and have him removed.

I have even caught him sabotaging my work, We repair photocopiers for clients I have repaired/upgraded one and the customer (a few days later saying there is no ink) when it did have ink. He has been seen and told by the line manager to stop taking the ink/toner out of my machines.

OP posts:
MissMoneyFairy · 26/01/2025 19:15

You've got a line manager problem too if this nonsense is being allowed to continue

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:18

MissMoneyFairy · 26/01/2025 19:15

You've got a line manager problem too if this nonsense is being allowed to continue

Our line manager has been in the workshop since November. The last Line manager was really slack and laid back I did inform him a few times but he did nothing.

OP posts:
Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 26/01/2025 19:21

RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 18:57

I am documenting everything then i will put a complaint in.
All i do is go to work keep my head down (be polite) and go home. I do not gossip etc.

Show quote history

Sorry OP I think there are a few steps in between documenting everything and raising a grievance.

You need to let managers solve the problem before you enter into a long and highly emotionally charged situation.

So I think it should maybe go like this.

  1. Speak directly to your colleague and say you will not tolerate this behaviour any longer. You need to be seen to be addressing this yourself.
  2. If it doesn’t stop, reiterate in writing the conversation you had with him and if it continues you will be raising it to your manager.
  3. If it continues have a meeting with your manager and tell them about the situation and how you have tried to address it but it hasn’t stopped. Tell them you have documented everything including those who have witnessed the behaviour and will sent it to them if needed. You manager should the.m tell you what they propose to do and timings.
  4. If you don’t see an improvement or your manager doesn’t address the issue, I would then put all of this into writing including the document and send it to HR. Tell them you have tried to address it and follow company policy but need a resolution.

Haopy of others want to add or delete but please don’t just run to HR and not have told your manager. You need them to support you and they can’t do this if they are unaware of the problem and haven’t been given the opportunity to solve it.

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:28

Whydoeseveryonewanttoargue · 26/01/2025 19:21

Sorry OP I think there are a few steps in between documenting everything and raising a grievance.

You need to let managers solve the problem before you enter into a long and highly emotionally charged situation.

So I think it should maybe go like this.

  1. Speak directly to your colleague and say you will not tolerate this behaviour any longer. You need to be seen to be addressing this yourself.
  2. If it doesn’t stop, reiterate in writing the conversation you had with him and if it continues you will be raising it to your manager.
  3. If it continues have a meeting with your manager and tell them about the situation and how you have tried to address it but it hasn’t stopped. Tell them you have documented everything including those who have witnessed the behaviour and will sent it to them if needed. You manager should the.m tell you what they propose to do and timings.
  4. If you don’t see an improvement or your manager doesn’t address the issue, I would then put all of this into writing including the document and send it to HR. Tell them you have tried to address it and follow company policy but need a resolution.

Haopy of others want to add or delete but please don’t just run to HR and not have told your manager. You need them to support you and they can’t do this if they are unaware of the problem and haven’t been given the opportunity to solve it.

Show quote history

I think I will chat to my line manager about this and explain to him.
I have tried to sort the issue (talking) but the colleague is relentless and does not stop when I try to talk he rants and raves he goes bright red faced.
My option is to inform my line manager (I informed the last one but he done nothing) The colleague has said to people loudly if he sees me outside work he will fight me.

OP posts:
Ezlo · 26/01/2025 19:29

RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:28

I think I will chat to my line manager about this and explain to him.
I have tried to sort the issue (talking) but the colleague is relentless and does not stop when I try to talk he rants and raves he goes bright red faced.
My option is to inform my line manager (I informed the last one but he done nothing) The colleague has said to people loudly if he sees me outside work he will fight me.

Show quote history

Are you female?

What a bloody bully he is. Launch a bullying grievance. You deserve to feel safe at work.

Original poster
RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:31

Ezlo · 26/01/2025 19:29

Are you female?

What a bloody bully he is. Launch a bullying grievance. You deserve to feel safe at work.

Edited
Show quote history

I am male and the colleague is male.

OP posts:
Irridescantshimmmer · 26/01/2025 19:48

Its harassment

Make logs, dates, times details contact HR a per he harassment policy and cover yourself so he can't pull you up on anything.

Sounds like an absolute nightmare so contact HR or a manager who is above him.

Say something similar to:-

His behaviour is an absolute disgrace, his conduct is despicable, due to the additional stress you are under. Tell them you dread coming into work and its affecting your self esteem/confidence because you constantly in the firing line.

If you want to tell them you need to find a new job or take time off with stress if they do not remove him because. Tell them you are at the end of your tether an you have had enough of relentless bullying.

They have to act, they have to deal with him. If they delay then get into a union abd then there will be hell to pay.

Reword what I have ritten jf you wish, hope this helps...... Seriously OP DON'T IT CONTINUE FOR TOO LONG!

Good luck to you and remember, you done nothing wrong, I'm sure you will be relieved when it is all over.

Irridescantshimmmer · 26/01/2025 19:50

Soory about spelling mistakes google keyboard too small for my fingers!

Youngheartsalittletogetherness · 26/01/2025 19:54

RILEYM1982 · 26/01/2025 19:12

I have even caught him sabotaging my work, We repair photocopiers for clients I have repaired/upgraded one and the customer (a few days later saying there is no ink) when it did have ink. He has been seen and told by the line manager to stop taking the ink/toner out of my machines.

Show quote history

How's he still in a job.
Hopefully he gets the dunt

Emma6cat · 26/01/2025 20:04

You do not need to put up with this. The company will have bullying and harassment at work policies. You have more than enough evidence for a grievance and your line manager needs to manage HIM, thats what he is paid for. Stop this nonsense now