Struggling after maternity leave

[Rose1999]

I’m in a crisis.

I returned from a year of maternity leave last month and I am STRUGGLING at work. I’m working 4 days, I don’t have a class but I teach half of a class each morning and I cover in the afternoons. Not only am I not enjoying it but I’m struggling. I have chronic sleep deprivation due to my baby being a poor sleeper and it’s affecting every aspect of my life. I’ve become forgetful, I make silly mistakes, I get brain fog and just struggle a lot emotionally.

I was a decent teacher before but I feel like I just can’t do my job anymore and I don’t know what to do. I haven’t felt this low in a long long time 😞

Some basics:

Have you got any accrued leave you can take?

Are you well enough to be at work? Sick leave is a thing for a reason, and that includes mental health.

Have you got enough childcare?

Is there anything that can give in the rest of life to give more space to sleep?
(cleaning, laundry, moving to Tesco delivery, bribing next doors 15yr old with a £10 to play brick building and CBeebies watching while you nap at the weekend).

Unfortunately not as I'm a teacher so we have set holidays.
My daughter co-sleeps (not my choice but it's how it's worked out) but she's so restless that I barely sleep. I coped on maternity but the stress of work is tipping me over the edge.
It's just me and my daughter so I can't sleep at weekends.

If you’ve only been back a month it’s very early days and I think you can expect a difficult few months while you adjust. It’s really, really hard working in a job where you have a lot of responsibility and juggling childcare and then throw in lack of sleep. I came back from my leave half a year ago and am still struggling. It does get easier though as you adjust to another new normal, I did eventually get used to after my first mat leave and I know I’ll get used to it this time too. Go easy on yourself.

when you’re exhausted it is hard to see any solutions, but there will be a way through this.

what about wider family, neighbours , friends, colleagues, people you know from a baby group? There must be someone you could appeal to for some practical help.

failing that: you put the baby in a play pen or cot, you lie on the floor and sleep. Even 30 mins will help.

The idea of finding a friendly local teen is genius - my dc would be brill at this, she’s fantastic with kids and very responsible, she would help out for a fiver or a box of Maltesers if you said that’s all you could afford! Do you not know anyone at all who could help, you’d be surprised how willing people are.

What about the grandparents on the parental side - even if baby’s dad is a dick, would his parents help?

I mean this gently - it’s not co-sleeping if only one of you is sleeping.

This may be a prompt to look for adjustments to that. My current go to when 3 yr old ends up in bed with me is a pillow as a buffer between us.

Do consider whether you’re hitting the point of needing to call in sick. A couple of days in bed while child is at child care may get you the reset that’s needed.

Highly recommend sleep training with a sleep consultant to guide you. I know it's not for everyone but I would totally recommend it. Mine now sleeps through the night and I'm a different person