Targeted by new director

[Hattieandcake]

Just looking for some advice - so a new director arrived sept 2024 - my managers chose to side with her over me and things we had done for years started being questioned, I was blamed and put under investigation.

I was moved elsewhere during investigation then went off sick. Investigation concluded and no action to be taken but then they offered for me to stay in my alternative department which I declined. My
managers have not been in touch since this started in October 24. Now there are ongoing delay tactics to arrange a meeting to plan me going back to my old job. You may think I am mad wanting to go back but I just want to be around my old colleagues. I just don’t know how to cope being hated by the new director and not supported by my old manager. I believe it is because I have 3 children as she has made comments about myself and others with children off the record, and that she would rather have males.

It’s really getting to me now as there is no end in sight just constant excuses. I have a union rep but she is quite laid back - she has said she will support me on an formal grievance but I don’t believe anything will happen as everyone is scared of this new senior person. I also don’t feel ready to apply for a new job after what has gone on. I am paranoid they will pick up on non existent issues if I do go back too but the new role is not for me as it is very repetitive. I went through hell so far that I don’t want to give up now.

I am sorry, but having been in a similar situation, I think you are making a poor decision going back. Against a director and with senior managers supporting her approach - whether you like it or not - you are going to struggle. I suspect even the dynamics of your colleagues will have changed. I honestly would stay where you are and then look for other roles available.

While the situation was awful for you and they did not find anything which you had done which would result in them taking action, I think it is unrealistic to assume your old department will be the same as it was and your colleagues will be how they were. I suspect after this length of time dynamics will have changed, the way they work is also likely to have changed as the new director challenged and wanted change which from your OP indicates other management seemed to at least support reviewing and you say your old manager is unlikely to be supportive. It will be even harder to go back and discover everything has changed.

Personally if it were me I would stay with the department you are in and look for another job elsewhere. If you insist on going back I think you will find it really tough and likely end up signed off. It's always easier to find a new role if your are actively working , not unemployed or signed off with stress / anxiety.

Hi I’d stay where you are. I’m being targeted by a new director and I’m about to put a grievance in next week! I hope I get moved to another manager or dept! The stress is unbearable!

Really sad that’s what people think…. I agree the dynamic wouldn’t be the same but why let these toxic people win….

I wish I'd left while I was still fully functional and stood a chance of getting another great job. I eventually 'won' but ended up in a mental hospital! I, too, felt let down by the union; now I think they could see I was heading for a breakdown and wouldn't withstand the tribunal process.

The bad boss was let go with a massive severance package, so I didn't even get my principles satisfied. Some bastards are just too bastard-y to take on alone.

If you've managed to gather evidence of her sexism and anti-mother views, the union might be in a position to challenge her. I would absolutely not recommend putting yourself through more stress over it, though.

Nobody is going to back you over the Director and senior management. They have already won. They told you that the minute they offered you the chance to not go back. I am not generally a doom monger, but if you go back things will never be the same, and you are a target. Motivated management can always find reasons to criticise and/or discipline. No matter who you are, how good you are, how squeaky clean you are, there is always something if they want to find it. Then there is the insidious drip effect of stuff that you can never quite pin down for a grievance. You end up going off ill again. Then capacity comes into question. It gets harder and harder to go back to work. Now you are looking for another job with an absymal sickness record and probably mediocre references, and if you don't get one you may end up managed out for sickness absences.

Believe me - boring and repetitive work whilst you look for another job is preferable. Do think long and hard - it may not be too late to change your mind.

Stay and move on.
Don't go back. You won't be trusted and in no time you will blamed for any little thing.

I agree with the others. It's frustrating and unfair but nothing you can force change on. Never a good idea to keep fighting for a job where you aren't appreciated or respected. All that's best to do is to protect your mental space and energy and look for another workplace that will value you.

I think going back would inevitably end badly. A colleague is currently debating the same thing. She loves us, hates the boss and gladly accepted a move to a different team last year. I think it would be a terrible move to come back given their history. Circumstances mean she hasn’t got to make an immediate decision but if she came back, history would repeat itself.

What do you imagine will happen if you go back? More of the same? Can you not socialise with nice colleagues at lunch, for example, and stay where you are currently?