ADHD - reasonable adjustments?

[Fuzzyduck21]

I've been recently diagnosed as having ADHD and I'm awaiting an autism assessment. I work 5 days a week and fairly recently my company has told us we need to go into the office 2 days a week. I knew this was on the cards and my contract doesn't state any home working, but they were slow to come back into the office after covid (I've only worked there a year). I find this incredibly difficult for a number of reasons. Both of my kids and my husband are ND. Mornings can be really difficult. Once they're at school, I feel exhausted. It is one thing then going to work at home in my own safe space vs having to go to an office full of people and mask for the whole time. It is something I dread every single week and it is really affecting me.

I work city centre and never know one day to the next whether car park A will have space or whether I will have to go to car park B. I can't just go to car park B first as it is hugely more expensive. I can't use any other form of transport to get there. I find the uncertainty hard to handle. I also find hot desking difficult, but there is an easy fix as I can just request a fixed desk I think. Once there, I find the social side of things really hard. Being 'work me' is exhausting. Appearing interested in people and what they have to say etc. Using the kitchen and toilets are difficult. I don't like getting up from my desk as I feel like everyone is watching me - I know they aren't but that is the feeling. I try to be rational about it but I am so self conscious. I find the toilets are horrible and can't bring myself to sit on the seats. There are just so many things that overwhelm me. I thankfully only work part time (over 5 days) but my boss is asking me to come up with an idea of what hours I want to do, if I don't feel like I can do my current hours. It isn't my hours that are the problem, its coming in twice a week. I could manage once a week but twice is just too much right now. I'm open to looking for a different, fully remote role, but I don't really understand my rights in this situation as I believe I am classed as having a disability. I'd rather stay at my current company if I can but they are so focussed on coming in twice a week that I can't imagine they will drop it. Would a GP note help? I don't know if occupational health will be supportive as surely they will back the company. Just looking for a little advice please.

I think you need to approach it from a reasonable adjustment point of view. Do not mention any of the family issues- they're not relevant. But do discuss how much better one day a week would be than two, and all of your reasons why. They are perfectly valid, and I would grant them as a Co Director.

I would say things like a standing desk, being allowed to listen to music/white noise/ noise canceling headphone, short frequent breaks.

Perhaps adjusting your hours so you start earlier in the day and finish earlier or start later and finish later.

@Largestlegocollectionever yes they’re disabilities. @UncharteredWaters do you think medical professionals make up a diagnosis? Like some disabilities and illnesses people often don’t seek help until something become unmanagable.

Your employer might be amenable to you doing one day a week in the office, or they may be resistant. If the latter, would you be able to amend your working hours so you do one longer day a week, and you make that an office day, thus getting you closer to 40% in office time, as they're aiming for? It may also then help you if starting work earlier to be able to reliably use car park A. This may be dependent on your DH being able to do school drop off once per week perhaps.

Your difficulties with normal aspects of office working - speaking with people, using the toilet or kitchen - are more problematic. Does your employer offer any access to CBT, for example, which could help you develop better ways of coping with these?

If this is going to be an ongoing challenge for you, I would agree with a previous suggestion that getting a 100% WFH job, where your colleagues all WFH and there is no expectation of attending face to face meetings, may be better for you in the long term.

It's daunting at first but the more you go in and practice being in the office, the easier it will be. Take the hit of paying more for car park B for a few weeks to remove one element of uncertainty. Take lunch instead of buying it - that will pay for the difference.

I have adhd and possibly autistic. Have you disclosed adhd or not yet? The correct procedure would be to disclose and request an OH assessment. They won't back the company per se but the focus will be on what can be done to help you do your work. One of which may be a reasonable adjustment to work from home 4 days not 3.

However I'd say it is possible to get used to 2 days in the office if required. Things that help are doing the 2 days back to back, Loop Switch headphones to cut out background noise, a sit stand desk - Access to Work can part or fully fund these items. I have 2 sets- small in ear headphones if people need to approach me. I can use these in busy meeting rooms no problem and still have a conversation. Game changing. I also have larger over ear Sony XM4s which also, I agreed with the assessor, help signal that I'm busy and don't interrupt me! I try to socialise first thing, be really chatty, then get on with things. However there is a constant stream of people coming in and everyone is more chatty now we don't see each other every day so I have actually in the past raised it and they looked at moving me to a quieter part of the office. Also scheduling meetings for the in office days is helpful.

Access to Work can fund taxi costs, if finding travelling to work in rush hour and parking is sensory overhwhelm etc.

I don't think needing to save costs on parking is a valid reason though - if parking B is expensive then pushing your employer for a pay rise would probably be what Access to Work would prefer.

A2W can also fund ADHD strategy coping sessions which you may be able to use in part to help with family routines around work - I've certainly used a few sessions on routines that support work etc.

If you work part time they may be more amenable to you going in one day a week - it's actually done on a pro rata basis at my office.

But the correct process is to go via occupational health and in most companies that will be the route your manager will expect you to go down.

The parking and difficulties with childcare in the morning are irrelevant, do not mention these.

I'd expect a request to WFH would be deemed reasonable in some cases but you might want to think about how it will work in practice to strengthen your argument. So is there a team meeting once a week? Offer to go in on that day. Or will you need to be flexible and change the day depending on the team commitments that week.

Sorry you're getting such shitty replies btw, Mumsnet is truly disgusting when it comes to disability.

Like some have said, I would have thought your office time should be pro-rata, so I would try to organise it so you come in one day a week. It's worth sharing your ADHD assessment with your manager and the fact you are undergoing an autism assessment. I honestly don't know if it means you could work permanently from home, but it may mean they are required to be amenable to your requests.

For the rest of it, is it possible to organise it to within an inch of its life. On your office day your DH is solely responsible for the DCs and you get up early enough to always get a space in car park A. Getting in early also means you should be able to bag your preferred seat. Many people in our office use headphones so you shouldn't stand out.
On the toilets it must be very limiting not using public toilets, so I would try and work through that one.

Yes I do want to keep wfh but would accept going in once a week. Thats the point of my post. I haven't worked in an office in 10 years and underestimated the impact on me that it would have. Yes ADHD is classed as a disability under the Equality Act 2010. I really wish you hadn't responded. You don't know how much your words impact someone. I should have known not to ask for advice on Mumsnet.

I did struggle pre covid and left my job and focussed on having a family. I took this job after 9 years of not working due to fortunate financial circumstances and me wanting to be at home with the kids. Now the world has moved on by a decade, I have a name for why I struggled so much before covid and continue to do so.

I don't think allowing me to go in one day instead of 2 is asking them to do all the giving. As I said, I'm looking for a fully remote job but I would like to continue to stay working for the company.

Thank for you all the non-shitty responses. And no, I'm not classing them as shitty as they weren't what I wanted to hear. I just always wrongly expect people to speak to me as they would on the street. Maybe that's how they speak to people on the street. Anyway the rest of you have been really helpful and given me lots of think about. Thank you. I'll take a long step away from Mumsnet again now I think. I always forget what its like here.

Ignore the shitty responses. Personally I’ve found occupational health very very helpful. I have different disabilities to you but have managed to agree one day in the office with a fixed desk. I’d definitely ask for an assessment for reasonable adjustments.

Well then your reading comprehension must be extremely poor.

I read the original post. OP's reasons for wanting to work from home

1. Mornings are hard work
2. Parking in the city centre is expensive/painful
3. Office chat is hard work
4. OP feels self conscious about going to the toilet

Why are any of these valid reasons to work from home? 4 OP will get over quickly and 3 is the same for everyone. 1 & 2 have no relevance.

ADHD or not, most people have to deal with these things. There is no reason for the op to work from home. ADHD isn't a silver bullet to do whatever you want

Trolli non alendi sunt. 😇

I'm in a similar position to the OP. Waiting for an autism assessment (having suspected autism for sixteen + years), after a move from a single-team office to a big open-plan office with multiple teams proved unbearable. It was the first time I'd tried to work in that kind of space, and it shocked me how much I hated it.

The office politics on top of the sensory stuff makes it worse.

I've basically boycotted the office my team are meant to be in and moved myself to another building. I'm also looking increasingly desperately for another job. I'm conflict avoidant and normally try very hard to give my employers what they want, if it's in my power to give.

(My job is detail oriented and 100% online, which is obvious from my job title.)

Hugs and good luck.

OP, challenging discriminatory attitudes towards neurodivergent people is worth doing on MN. Some people do it through sheer ignorance, only some from deliberate bigotry.

Just to say that whether anyone's condition amounts to a disability under the Equality Act definition is usually only formally determined in the event of a tribunal. Most employers work on the basis that ADHD is very likely to be deemed a disability if it is causing significant impairment to day to day functioning at work and is expected to last for 12 months or longer. Ultimately the test is of impaired functioning and not about diagnosis.

Once an employer is aware of a long term condition or impairment the onus is on them to consider reasonable adjustments. These legal responsibilities exist to improve the inclusion of disabled people. The employment rate gap for disabled people is currently almost 30%. People who think ADHD is something and nothing needs to read up on the associated impaired life chances:

www.nottingham.ac.uk/news/research-shows-adhd-goes-beyond-core-symptoms-and-needs-holistic-approach

OP sad to see that you are getting the usual ableist posts with people suggesting that anyone with ADHD/ on the autism spectrum is just faking it and trying to get special treatment.

My suggestion would be to make your employer aware of your diagnosis and that you are awaiting further assessment. Then make an official request for reasonable adjustment and ask to come in once a week and ask for Occupational Health to be involved if your employer is being unsympathetic.

Long term conditions that affect your day to day life come under the definition of disability which means your employers needs to consider reasonable adjustments.

Op - do you have particular days when you have to be in the office? If not then I would suggest a Monday and a Friday. For the reason that Monday and Friday are the most popular days to work at home. So it will increase the likelihood of car park A being available plus mean that the office is quiet so reduce your issues being there also.

I have ADHD and worked FT in the office pre-pandemic. I now work mainly from home with the occasional office day (not by choice - they closed my local office). Don’t listen to the nay sayers, in the last 5 years I’ve had a significant promotion and my performance is the best it’s ever been even though I’m not physically there.

FT office working just doesn’t suit me or my employers; I get distracted so deliver less and, if I have a bad day, the constant stimulation in an office is much more likely to tip me over the edge. I used to regularly cry in the toilets when I worked in an office and I thought that was just the price you paid for working hard in a stressful role!

When I was diagnosed 4 years ago, I spoke to occupational health and they were really lovely. I’d recommend speaking to them in the first instance with an open mind about what adjustments are needed. They can suggest accommodations you might not know are possible or that are different but they know they can easily get approved at your work.

It's perfectly reasonable to ask for an adjustment of one day in the office. See what they say.

I wasn't expecting the ableist posts to kick in so quickly!

@tfresh yes, and these things are even harder for neurodivergent people. Would you say that to someone with a physical disability?

It's absolutely classed as a disability and working from home is something that is classed as a reasonable adjustment.

OP - I have ADHD and a chronic illness and my job requires staff to be in office 3 days a week however my reasonable adjustments mean that I do 2 days in office instead. It's absolutely possible to get this approved, you just have to go about it in the right way (through occupational health if possible)