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Problem with colleague

6 replies

anxiousandworries · 21/01/2025 16:35

I was discussing a piece of work with a colleague this morning which resulted in a bit of a verbal altercation (instigated by them). I didn’t want to get into an argument so just walked away. I was quite annoyed about the way they spoke to me so reported the whole thing to my manager. My manager is lovely and said she would have a word with the staff member involved about their attitude but did say they could just be having a bad day. In my opinion having a bad day isn’t an excuse to start shouting and swearing at your colleague in an office.

The more I think about it the more though the more I feel bad about the whole thing and it’s made me incredibly anxious. I know I shouldn’t feel bad for not tolerating people treating me like crap in the workplace but I can’t help but think that I should have kept my mouth shut and that the person involved is going to come out with god knows what in a tit for tat kind of thing. I also worry that if they are having a bad day that getting pulled by a manager is going to make them feel 10x worse which I also hate the thought of.

They’ve been there longer than me so I’m concerned I’ve opened myself up to a whole load of bother despite not doing anything wrong and god knows how I’m going to face them in the office going forward as we don’t WFH at all 😣

OP posts:
Shrinkingrose · 21/01/2025 16:37

It’s fine to report, if someone was shouting and swearing at you. I’m surprised someone else didn’t.

but yes, it is likely they will retailiate

villagefayre · 22/01/2025 13:51

Some time ago the colleague I worked most closely with and had the utmost respect for launched a verbal attack at me out of the blue ("Do you think I am stupid?! ...etc). It was awful. Awful too because no one came to my defence. I was stunned. I decided in that moment to find a new job and I left as soon as I could. In retrospect, I think it was probably to do with her menopause, but it is not okay to be verbally abusive to a colleague you are right.

Welshmonster · 26/01/2025 20:56

Regardless of a bad day you still need to be professional.

aloopylou · 26/01/2025 21:23

You must set boundaries otherwise its sets a dangerous precedent that you will tolerate anything from anyone. The colleague may retaliate but length of service is not a free pass to behaving so disrespectfully. Write it down for your own records ao that, if anything comes of it, you have a clear record.

pilates · 26/01/2025 21:26

You did nothing wrong - they shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.

modernshmodern · 26/01/2025 21:31

You did the right thing he needs to know that behaviour is unacceptable

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