Feeling stuck, looking for advice

[Alohamo]

I'm feeling completely stuck in what path to take in my career and life. I'm 38 with 2 DC one of whom has additional needs.

I'm a qualified accountant and worked for +10 years in various finance roles in large organisations working my way up to Financial Controller level. About 4 years ago the opportunity came up to work on a huge ERP implementation project and I was offered the role of leading a team of SMEs to design, test, implement the ERP system. I did this successfully and received excellent feedback although it was hugely challenging and very stressful at times. I was asked to stay on the project as a Senior PMO despite no Project Management qualifications.

For the last 12 months the project has been what can only be described as chaos. The whole company went through cuts and consequently the project is staffed by fewer people with accelerated deliverables and a revised methodology. Team are scattered globally. I work from home despite the office being 10 mins away as I am on back to back calls all day with no time to do the actual work which gets dished out on each call. Everyone is miserable, stressed and confused by the chaos and lack of direction and is generally unhappy.

DH is has said that he is happy to support me to take some time out and think about what I want to do but honestly I don't know what to do. The sunk cost fallacy is in full play here - I've worked so hard to get to where I am and I think a lot of my self worth is tied up in work.

My eldest DC would benefit hugely from having a parent around more and not stressed from work but I'm not sure if I left I would even be able to find another job as I've moved from Finance to Project Management and in reality don't love either.

To add, DH works 8am -8pm with several evening networking events each week. Reading this all back I'm not entirely sure how I am holding this all together but I am feeling very disconnected with work and am lacking any real or engagement connection with what I am doing. When I was in Finance I was working until 5pm, collecting the DC, returning home, putting them to bed and then re-starting work at 7.30pm. as DC have got older this isn't possible as they want dinner, attention etc and don't go to bed until 9pm.

I really feel for you, it’s horrible feeling trapped in a job when it’s stressful.

I’m stuck in a “role” as well, because I have 20 years of experience doing it and it is very specific. I’ve tried the job in 3 different employers and still hate the job.

I’ve also got the support of my husband to rethink, but I’ve got no real ideas short of retail/similar which people generally seem to warn isn’t as rosy as it looks (in which case I’d have given up a fairly good salary for nothing).

Sorry I’ve got no ideas!

Thanks for replying @Whatdoldo. I think it's the not knowing or having a plan on what to do next which is also making me more stressed. I am so envious of my sister who chose a career which was perhaps on paper less academic but has enabled her to have a really nice, balanced lifestyle.

So much of what you say is similar (similarities in having a husband that works long hours and finding it harder to fit the “extra” hours necessary in around a later bedtime for children!).

I agree about being envious of others that seem to have a more balanced life. The thing I’ve found in common with them is that either they love what they are doing (I don’t love anything) or they are just super chilled personalities (unlike me) so just because they seem to have a good live doesn’t mean that I would if I had their job. I try to to get jealous, because years ago I’m sure I’d have been the high flyer with the money that they were jealous of!