Can't do my job anymore. Civil service

[Grassgarden]

What would happen if I told my boss that I just can't do my job anymore? I am really underperforming and have been making lots of mistakes. I work in a fast paced environment and just can't manage. My husband is very depressed, I have three teenagers and I think I am autistic or have ADHD. I can't understand what I am supposed to do a lot of the time.

I have a carers passport and my manager is very flexible, but I have made some big fuck ups recently and can see my reputation draining away.

If I said I really can't manage this job anymore what would happen? Would there be the possibility of a managed move?

How long have you been doing this role? Are you on probation?

I work in civil service - I wouldn't think you'd be entertained for a managed move if you're underperforming, whatever the reason. If you can't do the job, look for another one.

Ive recently had a similar situation as a manager. someone whose performance dropped off a cliff and they raised with me that they thought they had ND of some sort. Also very stressful home life. They wanted a managed move too. First thing was - that doesn't get you out of the performance issues, what we need to do is put in adjustments to help you reach the required level of performance. We worked together to identify and implement some adjustments and they are doing so much better now as they have the support they need, performance rapidly improved to the required levels.

There was no diagnosis, but good practice from tribunals is to assume the condition exists and make adjustments accordingly. I'm assuming you've done a few diagnostic questionnaires? That's a conversation you might want to have with your manager.

Based on what you’ve said here, zero chance of managed move. If I were your manager, I’d be placing you on performance review which is the first step towards dismissal, presuming you don’t improve. If you’re on probation, it’s even easier as I can then say it’s not working out, let’s part ways.

Perhaps you need a holiday instead? Have one and then see how you feel?

Can you get signed off with stress for a couple of weeks and then see how you feel? Maybe ask for a meeting with HR and your line manager?

You'd likely be out on a PIP and managed out.

Been there -and coming out of it now.

SEN kids, autistic partner, I am undiagnosed ND. All these things I could deal with but the absolute killer for me was post menopausal brain fog - despite sailing through peri menopause and menopause with no problems. This started 4 years after my last period so I didn't realise it was hormonal.

My manager reduced expectations of me and made allowances for this. I had a carer's passport and reasonable adjustments put in place.

Remember you are protected under equalities legislation - under the Equalities Act 2010 yóu are protected as you are a carer so this could be seen as disability discrimination by association. Presumably menopause is a protected characteristic as this would come under sex or disability discrimination but you'd need to check.

Can you go part time for a few months? Bit of a hit financially but less of if a hit financially (and emotionally) to take a step back for a bit.

Contact your union rep if your manager isn't as supportive as you need.

I am fighting fit now but it took a couple of years out of every aspect of my life.

This will pass. 💐

Thanks this is really helpful.

@sodiumstreetlights what finally fixed your post menopausal brain fog? I feel like I can't retain any information on my brain at all. It's horrible

Not on probation no.

I used to be good at my job, but there have been lots of changes at senior management level and the bosses that knew me before gave all gone

I went to GP about my exhaustion and horrific brain fog which significantly affected my cognitive skills as well as my concentration. I was literally a vegetable, had to go for a nap every lunchtime and after work due to the severity of exhaustion.

GP (young and female!) immediately put me on HRT patches which worked for a few months then stopped. This was replaced by another version which didn't work.

I stopped HRT and, oddly, symptoms lifted somewhat. After another few months it just went away. Menopause isn't permanent although it felt like a life sentence. I lost 2.5 years of my life to this.

Now I am back and although concentration can be very poor it isn't attributable to hormonal factors, more to do with caring duties etc.

Your union will have support for menopause and there should be management support in place for you during this time. Menopause awareness is really coming up now so we are lucky in this respect.

Please contact your union proactively to find out what support you are eligible for and how they can support you if your manager doesn't understand how and why this is affecting you.

PS remember that menopause is a) temporary b) only affects women and c) is a disability.

https://www.equalityhumanrights.com/guidance/menopause-workplace-guidance-employers#:~:text=If%20menopause%20symptoms%20have%20a,obligation%20to%20make%20reasonable%20adjustments.

"If menopause symptoms have a long term and substantial impact on a woman's ability to carry out normal day-to-day activities, these symptoms could be considered a disability. If menopause symptoms amount to a disability, an employer will be under a legal obligation to make reasonable adjustments."