Simultaneously disinterested at work and dwelling on any minor mistake

[Penguinpenguin29]

Back from mat leave to a new job in my org. Office job, different topic but same type of work as old role.

Last mat leave I came back bright eyed and bushy tailed keen to carry on with career. This time - second and final baby - I am just continuously exhausted. I’m doing my best but very conscious that my best is not a as good as my old best…. If that makes any sense. I just don’t have the brain power or passion.

I’m making quite a few small mistakes and I know I’m dwelling on them, beating myself up and reducing my confidence as a result. I feel like I’m letting people down.

Not sure what I’m after here but does anyone relate? Working compressed hours with two u4s is a nightmare.

No advice but I'm currently on mat leave with my 2nd and final baby and I feel like this is going to be exactly the position I'm in when I go back! Trying not to think about it too much yet whilst simultaneously trying to find a way to do something that requires a lot less brain power for the same money!

Returning in winter has been a nightmare with bugs etc - go for a summer return!!!

For me it definitely got harder to juggle career and family with each additional child, we now have 3 DC. I used to be so career focused and ambitious pre-children, but I just cared less and less about my work and resented how demanding my role was. I felt my children were getting a stressed and rushed parent, and work was getting an uninterested and unmotivated employee. I also lost nearly all my confidence in myself and my ability to do the job by the end.

My plan would have been to move jobs in the hope that it was that particular job/company that was the problem (it was definitely a huge factor). We were very fortunate with a change of work circumstances for my DH that enabled me to hand in my notice and I'm now essentially a SAHM, I help out with DH business one morning a week. I've not got my confidence back yet and we have different types of stresses now, but I'm definitely happier.

Maybe it's the job/company that needs to change for you, or maybe you need to rethink the compressed hours. Or maybe it will get better over time.

Personally, I was fine until I had DC3, but I’d changed jobs and reduced hours by then.

maybe the compressed working isn’t the best, maybe you need a few parental leave sessions this year, maybe your husband needs to help more or perhaps you ned to just get used to it.

don’t stress and take time to consider your options.

Working from home helped me with this.. and it’s easier when they get to primary school age.. just being able to prepare a meal on my lunch break and put on washing and throw laundry in the press on the way back upstairs to my desk helps.. I even get 20 mins Excercise in on my rowing machine. Is this something you could do?