Meeting following a Christmas night out

[MissDutch]

I’d love some advice. I returned to
work in August after 10 months on Mat leave, 4 days a week, 2 days finishing at 4.15 to pick LO up. Since returning, I have been bombarded with more work and have lost c£10k a year due to decreasing my hours. I was expected to take on a consultants work when she left in something I didn’t have much experience in. I asked if I could do a course to develop these skills and they ignored me. I don’t get any benefits, two members of staff got enhanced maternity pay and I got statutory from the beginning. I’ve suggested more pay twice in meetings and have been ignored. I pick stuff up on my day off most weeks (not lots just emails here and there)

at my Christmas party, I had a bit of an upset conversation with my manager and said I didn’t feel valued, my pay wasn’t reflective of the work I’m putting in etc.(not the best conversation to have when you’re vodka fuelled). I thought it was forgotten about but we saw each other in the office today and he whatsapped me this evening saying he wants to have a chat about this conversation and whether I’d want the other manager to be involved as it seemed I was unhappy. How should I approach this? Do I discuss it properly at work or do I just leave it considering I’ve been ignored so many times?

they’ve also made comments a few times about being hesitant to put me into another role incase I have another child. I also wanted to come back full time and they suggested part time as my daughter would intervene with illnesses, needing to be picked up etc.

Hi OP I'm sure others will come along with fab advice but you are efficiently being managed out and the comments about you having another child and having to leave for child related issues are against any kind of HR rules.

I would hopefully take advice here and ensure you get everything in writing or make sure you have a representative with you.

I would delay any meetings until you know your employment rights, have a copy of your contract and have a clear pathway to what you want from work and have someone in the room with you.

Why did you agree on the reduced hours? And do you have that documentation?

Few things for me...

I would absolutely expect any manager worth their salt to offer you a meeting to discuss concerns raised in that context. You've told them now so no getting that genie back in the bottle, it sounds like you want change and this meeting could potentially be helpful to address this. If you are in a union you could ask whether they can attend with you.

The comments they've made about not developing you or offering you full time hours because of child/future child are discrimination and I would seem advice from ACAS / union or similar.

In terms of your work on days off, I think you need to consider your boundaries here, they are not paying you to work those days and this is clearly not benefiting you in work. I say this as someone who burn out last year after working ridiculous hours for too many years and am now back in senior management role but working hard to maintain my boundaries.

Everything @Notmydaughteryoubitch has said.

Thank you. I’ve replied and said I would like to catch-up. I said it would be good to speak when we’re not alcohol infused (!) and I’ve been slightly upset and worried about a few things.

im not sure how to approach the conversation when it comes but my first concern is potentially being managed out because they want someone full time for my job, second is pay, office environment, and no sign of wanting me to progress. I find it hard to put things forward when I’m in situations like these

I’m not a part of a union. I also accepted the hours because really and truly I was worried about returning to work and I felt a bit naive and forced to accept what was given to me at the time. I just wanted to get back with no issues

Agree, my first thought was not that you are being managed out!! If anyone said that to me, (especially after coming back from mat leave) I would of course set up a meeting to see what could be done! I don’t want anyone I manage to be miserable at work.

I would make a note of what you want to discuss with your manager and send it to them ahead of time via your work email so you’re both on the same page and also there’s a paper trail.

I would say definitely do it in person and out of the office if you can? Perhaps a nearby quiet coffee shop. I suppose it is a good idea to have a third impartial person there, although you don’t have to.