Looking for Advice From Anyone Who Works In HR

[Lbet]

Hi all,

I am after some advice hopefully from someone who works in HR.

My 21 year old son is at uni and also works part time in a well known food Chain.

A few months back he was taken on as a supervisor for a months trial. During that month a new manager started. To cut a long story short the new manager seems to have something against my son. She is constantly moaning at him if he gets something wrong. Instead of training him up she just has a go at him and never encourages him or shows him how he can improve. Anyway 3 months on she keeps extending his trial period.
it is getting to the point where it is getting him down working with her. She has mentioned to him a couple of tomes that she will arrange a meeting with him to discuss his progress but nothing as of yet has become of it.
He now wants to email her to request a date for the meeting.

What I would like advice on is should he first get in touch with HR to chat to them about his situation? I am a concerned that she will try and turn things round on him. I feel by talking to HR at least they will know the situation.

Any advice would be much appreciated .

Tread carefully. All her nastiness is done verbally so there's no evidence. Whereas her paper trail evidence email looks fine. She's thus presenting well.

He needs training and instructions, to make sure he doesn't make mistakes on these 2 days he's been offered. Else she'll use those mistakes to whip him!

He sounds underprepared and just not ready, not experienced enough.

and all of those are now supervisors as those people have had the training needed ".

Then he needs to be very very direct and specific, and ask her to allocate him the time, and the exact training he needs.

I'm not saying I know this specific situation as I don't, but your son is presumably youngish and in his first-ish job.

It is quite likely that he does need to develop more skills. The manager may not have fallen from the charm tree,but she might be quite right and she might be finding his behaviour frustrating. She might want more from him and be dropping hints and nudging him. I am sure he would rest any suggestion he needed to be spoon fed the job, so he needs to make sure he isn't.

I remember being a young waitress and being yelled at for standing around. I didn't make a fuss, call HR or anything else. I walked off tearfully, pulled myself together and made sure I could always find something to do. And this happened a million times when I made mistakes, or got things not quite right. (Nothing awful and no swearing, hitting bullying etc,but you are not suggesting any of those things are happening in this situation either)

He needs to make sure that he is learning everything he can from the job, if he wants to progress in it. And that means taking feedback however given and using it to improve.

Alternatively he could return to non-supervisor or go and work somewhere else.

Ultimately these options will give him the best learning opportunities. Trying to get a win on not following due policy for some minor matter (like extending probation not in a private room) is a hollow victory for a career starter. He needs experience, and unfortunately that also includes bad ones and tough times when he had to figure out what the best thing to do was.

I wish him the best.

Jesus... All this angst. Just tell him to apply for another job.

I know this is my son and obviously I am going to be on his side but I am shocked on just how many on here are assuming the manager has every right to treat him the way she has. This is why I indicated I only wanted advice from the professionals who work in HR, so far who’s advice has been mainly constructive and helpful and made me realise HR is not the route to go down.

For some I have obviously given you the opportunity for you to give your take on a topic you clearly know nothing about but probably so unhappy with your own life you get a kick out of putting other people down.

Some of the advice on here has been great and very constructive and none judgemental so thank you so much it has been a great help.
For others make it your New Year’s resolution to stop sitting waiting for juicy posts on here where you can get a kick out of pouncing on people with your uneducated replies.

Happy New year.

@Lbet I am shocked on just how many on here are assuming the manager has every right to treat him the way she has.

I believe you will find that there is a vast difference between "having every right to treat him like this" and being able to do a thing about it. Being a crap or impolite manager is not actually against the law, and frankly, if this is the only time he comes across this in hisy working life, then I'd be surprised. Often it is about learning to manage these people rather than anything else, especially if you wish to progress.

This is why I indicated I only wanted advice from the professionals who work in HR

Frankly that comment is pretty offensive, but also indicates that you appear to not have much experience of the working environment if you think HR is on the workers side (and still think it after having been told that they aren't - they are employed by the employer to be on the employers side, which is often not the same thing as on the workers side)

Anyhow, since five decades as a trade union rep is not "professional" enough to advise you, I'll leave you to get on with it and use my time advising people who do want advice from us "unprofessional" people.

You've said that others in the branch have had the training and gone on to become supervisors, is it worth him watching what they do and learning from that? If he gets on with one of them maybe asking for advice or feedback on his own performance?

Otherwise it might be better for him to move on, it sounds as though this manager is not going to be of much use in giving feedback or guidance about what he needs to do. Perhaps she's a bully, perhaps she's a crap manager, perhaps she just doesn't like him much, perhaps he's not supervisor material. He shouldn't be standing around though (unless on a break) there's almost always cleaning or tidying that can be done in a catering environment.

Thank you for your advice, I do agree with most of what you said, although why are you assuming he stands around?
I am going to go with what you said that maybe she is just a crap manager because she clearly is.
I would never advise anyone to just move on because a manger doesn’t know how to do their job. I should learn from it going forward in the career he is looking at in Business management.

Why is it offensive and why are you not putting yourself in the bracket of a the professionals that I requested if you have 5 decades of experience?My reason for asking for advice from people who work in HR is so that I could get an idea if HR was the best route. I have openly said thanks to the posts on here for making me realise it isn't.

When posters do not read all the posts this is when the story gets turned around.

You said in one of your posts "she has said to him before when he is waiting at the desk for whatever reason…, Wish I had the time to stand around." Which is why I "assumed" he was standing around.

I suggested he consider moving on because if he really wants to be a supervisor he probably isn't going to achieve that in his current post. If he can tolerate not being one he should probably stay.

Ah yes thank you for clarifying. He really isnt one for standing around, he likes to keep busy because otherwise the time goes slow and he really is keen to learn. I said he was wating at the desk for whatever reason because I forgot why when he told me. The rota is kept at the desk and it is his role to send staff on their breaks.

I just feel it is so sad that a lot of people seem to think my son is giving her reasons for her to treat him in the way she is. A lot of people on here seem to be on her side. What chance has the young generation got when HR is there for the managers and there are people like on here who is siding with the managers and believing my son is giving her reasons for her lack of professionalism into giving him the resources to progress.

You are the one who wrote an openly hostile post aimed at everyone. Past that I have no further interest in what you do or do not call "professional".

Thank you for coming back thought you said you wouldn’t be.
Glad you got to read my other post.

Happy New Year to you. X

I will request this thread is shut down, it is clear I am only feeding the hungry.

Thank you all for your advice.
Happy New Year. X

HR Director here @Lbet

In the kindest possible way, you have your son's version of events. Whilst the manager sounds heavy handed, I imagine she also has targets to meet and your son might not be as service orientated as he believes. The request not to work Saturdays was rookie and created an impression and first impressions count.

It may very well be that he meets the criteria for floor staff but not for a supervisor. It may be that the manager senses he will be upset if that were disseminated.

Unfortunately, with less than two years' service, your son has no employment t rights whatsoever and can be dismissed with little or no recourse unless a characteristic under the Equality Act 2010 applies and he will have to prove less favourable treatment in that event. Any case is unlikely to have legs.

He is clearly not happy in the job, the company or with his manager. It happens. He has learnt never to be so entitled in hospitality to ask for all Saturdays off. It isn't working for either of them by the sound of it so as others have said he needs to find another job and cut his losses.

Working in hospitality or retail as a young person can be pretty brutal. Unless it's obvious that you're there to make a career of hospitality (i.e full time, interested/trained in the sector) then you are just a part timer there to earn money and you're pretty expendable. Your son is working part time while at uni. This manager doesn't sound good, but in my experience good managers are very rare. As others have said, part of learning about the work environment is learning that a lot of managers are not good, and a lot of work environments also aren't good.
I think your son should look for another job, honestly and meant kindly, I can't see emails to HR or escalating this getting him anywhere at all.
What is the reason for him not looking for work in a different restaurant? He's on a hiding to nowhere at this place it sounds to me.

Wow forgot I set this up.

My son didn’t need to do anything about his situation as it was all sorted for him. The company had received several complaints of bullying from this certain manager from staff members at the time. My son thought she had just got it in for him but was wrong. Also turned out she had not organised all the relevant training for my son and many other members of the team.
Turned out well for my son as he is doing amazing unfer a better manager.

Just read back through some of the replies and I have to say it seems there are an awful lot of HR staff who seem to take sides with the manager. How wrong you all were but more frightening is how you will continue to be wrong with the attitude that you have to the youngsters today.