Would you leave your job to save your fiance's worry? I was groped and made a pass at over 6 times on a works night out in a pub. My colleague was extremely intoxicated and nearly twice my age (no excuse but facts, one eye closed could fall over and go to sleep drunk). I told my fiance as I came home upset and felt absolutely violated. I have known him for 8 months he did not seem like this monster of a person when hes sober. I went into work on Monday he spoke to me first thing to apologise and absolutely mortified, he was really upset with himself, just kept apologising and saying he has no idea what came over him, he remmebers bits but not it all. So i rejogged his memory. Hes disgusted in himself he said he should have listened when I said no several times. He said all he has been thinking about is how to apologise and he is devastated and needs to knock drink on the head. he said he was going to ring me on Sunday apologising but didn't want to put me in any more uncomfortable situation over the phone so rather speak in person. As I've known him for 8 months, it seems out of character for him, at work he has never made me feel uncomfortable or awkward or like he fancies me. I gave him a firm word and said if he ever does anything like that again I will be taking it further, im glad hes been honest not brushed it off onto me, not denied it. The main concerns; my partner works away and he's rang me explaining he feels really shite about the situation but if I'm okay thats the main thing. I have told my fiance I'd leave my job as if it's making him worry and upset whilst working 400 miles away. He said no. What would you girls do? All my co workers i work with are lovely, the job is perfect for accommodating as we have 2 children, it works around them. The last thing I want to do it leave. The party involved has been remorseful ever since, his apology did seem sincere and he is gutted about the situation. I'm obviously pretty cut up about it due to my boundaries not being listened to more than 5 times, I feel betrayed he's like my dad's age ffs. He also mentioned his age and could not be more apologetic. What would yous do? I don't want to take it to HR because he's took it on himself to approach me and apologise, I've made it very clear if he ever tried it again I'd be getting him sacked and taking him to court, I'll accept his apology but I will never forget and of course he's uninvited to the wedding. I've said to him people do shitty things on drink but no is no. To never pull anything like it again. Do yous think I should quit my job to save the upset and potential constant worry from my fiance or do you think in time my fiance will heal? He wants to go and deck him and has been worried about me at work. For me, holding a grudge towards out of character alcohol fueled behaviours is wasted energy unless no remorce is shown or they are a complete co*k end. Nothing should ever get swept under the rug like this but it was dealt with. If it ever happened again I'd be taking it to tribunal. I somehow have a feeling he would never do it again
Sorry it's long. I just don't want people rushing to oh hes a horrible person etc. Yes he was in that moment. Yes he was when he was drunk. No he's never done anything like that to me or any other work colleague before drunk or so I know of, the girls are usually really good at keeping eachother in the loop of who's dodgy and who's not at work.