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What should I do?

3 replies

HR313 · 06/12/2024 22:42

Been with company for almost 5 years. So many people have been and gone since I started it’s a small charity. Started just before lockdown - I was treated quite terribly by a previous line manager who kept telling me she couldn’t believe I had been employed by the charity. Anyway, during the summer of 2020 transferred to a new line manager. Over the years new line manager has said pretty personal cutting remarks during my maternity leave and felt I had to meet with her to ‘show my face’ and even did kit days which I now regret 3 years down the line. during the time one of the workers she was managing left and made a complaint about her and she ended up taking time off sick. Not long after I returned from mat leave in 2022, a new employee was hired. We became close as a small team - how wrong I was I thought it was a genuine friendship. Cut a long story short I’ve been used for her benefit in securing team leader position (after she persuaded me enough to raise complaint about how my line manager had spoken to me through the years). Since I made complaint about line manager (who since stood down) and colleague has now taken her role which I find a bitter pill to swallow as it all seems so underhand.

I applied for another job during that time as I felt like there were no other options for me and got it but it’s less pay. I do enjoy my job and luckily both ex manager and colleague who stabbed me in the back isn’t in my team so don’t have to have any contact with them but we have a team/works meeting coming up and I’ve said to the service manager I do not want to go as I don’t feel comfortable around either of them but apparently I have no choice but to go and feel pressured into it. I’m not happy and just feel like handing my notice in - I feel like that’s what the want so they might as well get an early christmas
present and be shot of me. The whole situation has left me deflated and fed up of being treated like this. I’ve never been in this situation in my working life but guess it’s a ‘me problem’.

OP posts:
BustyMcgoober · 06/12/2024 22:50

I always think you can’t go wrong with the four agreements.

be impeccable with your word
don’t take things personally
never assume
always do your best.

Maybe try reframing some things that have happened. This seems like an unfortunate mindset that isn’t really working for you.

Pumpkincozynights · 06/12/2024 22:54

Is the meeting in person or on Teams?
If on Teams I would find that easier.
If in person here is what I would do.
Get everything ready the night before eg lunch, work bag, clothes out, jewellery out etc. Get up early and set off in plenty of time. Wear something I feel and look good in. Prepare in advance anything I might be asked to talk about. Think of any issues I have which need raising. Plan to say as little as possible. If I’m asked to comment on any points raised by the 2 people you have spoken about, speak only positively about them, don’t criticise and say as little as possible.

HR313 · 06/12/2024 23:03

Pumpkincozynights · 06/12/2024 22:54

Is the meeting in person or on Teams?
If on Teams I would find that easier.
If in person here is what I would do.
Get everything ready the night before eg lunch, work bag, clothes out, jewellery out etc. Get up early and set off in plenty of time. Wear something I feel and look good in. Prepare in advance anything I might be asked to talk about. Think of any issues I have which need raising. Plan to say as little as possible. If I’m asked to comment on any points raised by the 2 people you have spoken about, speak only positively about them, don’t criticise and say as little as possible.

It’s in person it’s our Xmas works meal but I don’t want anything to do with it. I’d rather just carry on with work stuff to be honest then I don’t have to face anyone or pretend I am ok, when really deep down I am hurt by the colleague who stabbed me in the back for her own personal gain. Also wanted to go to a conference (work related) and was told no by service manager despite me saying I’d even take the day off and using own funds. It’s beginning to feel a lot like bullying now.

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