Parental Leave?

[BigCheese24]

Looking for an outside perspective here on if my manager was inappropriate...

My husband and I both work for the same company, in the same role, but in different locations with different managers.

Last night, our son was up most of the night being sick. (He's 6.)

I phoned my manager this morning whose first response was "doesn't X (my husband) have any parental leave left?"

To which I replied I don't know but regardless my sick son wants me, his mum, not his dad.

Am I right in saying that this was wildly inappropriate for them to ask this? My manager is in no way my husbands manager, or anything to do with his job role or location

YABU that was fine to ask
YANBU they shouldn't be asking about your husbands work situation

Does your husband ever take time off when the children are sick?

My husband used to work from home, so if our child was sick I could always still go to work no problem. He only joined the same company I work for in the last 12 months and this is the first time our son has been unwell on a day we are both working

I should've called this Dependents leave not parental leave

Wildly inappropriate is strong language. No it isn’t unreasonable. It’s just a question.

Why would she ask when neither of you have taken any parental leave before?

I think it's reasonable to ask if you've explored other possible options. I can completely understand that you want to be home with your child when they're ill but you must be able to understand that your manager wants you to be at work and that a same day absence is disruptive even if it's reasonable and completely within the rules.

Op. I had this in the past. My husband and I both worked in the civil service.
I found it infuriating and unfair. It's not really a manager's business to be asking about whether it's someone else's turn.
I found it horrible when my manager asked if my husband could take time-off. It's like they don't quite trust you. It can be hard being a mother and an employee at the same time.
Like you said, your child sometimes wants their mum!

Because I've already used dependents leave this year for an elder family member

This is exactly how I feel. I know for a fact this never would've been asked before my husband joined the same company.

My organisation has asked people in the past if the dad can take it off, regardless of where he works.
But ours is paid emergency carers leave so I guess they keep a closer eye that you taking the day off is the only option