Is this serial harassment

[Hotlollygirl]

Please could someone help me with a situation I'm in at work.I work early mornings with a caretaker. Half the time he's OK if a bit lazy.The other half he's saying things that make me feel really uncomfortable. He doesn't say anything personally about me but he says really sexusl things about supposed experiences he's had in regards to other people. An example being he was talking about going back go a job he done years ago doing massage where women would orgasam at his touch.Or another job where a women was really freandly and a male co worker took it as a come on and pulled her knickers down and exposed himself. Or the utter nonsense about the nurse who while examining him told him she took it as a complement when he went hard in her hand.Ive only been working with him a short time and I've already heard so much that I don't want to have to hear.I don't know how to report it without seeming like a trouble maker.Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated

Start off by telling him that what he is saying is inappropriate, and you would prefer not to engage, or hear conversations of that sort.

It’s sexual harassment. You aren’t a trouble maker, no one should have that at work. Report him and tell him to his face that his language and attitude is unacceptable and to stop.

From Google: The Equality Act 2010 defines sexual harassment as unwanted conduct of a sexual nature that has the purpose or effect of:
Violating someone's dignity
Creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating, or offensive environment for someone

That sort of talk would make anyone feel uncomfortable. Reporting to your line manager doesn't make you a trouble maker, although be prepared for the caretaker to simply deny it. Reporting it makes it your manager's problem to solve, even if that means separating the two of you so you're not subjected to this anymore.

Firstly tell him "I don't want to hear this" then if he continues saying "if you continue I will complain" if he continues then tell HR if there's no HR tell his manager or your manager. You're probably not the only one he's saying this stuff to.

My problem is I had this a few years ago with a previous caretaker.He was sending me text messages and inviting me round his house.I reported it and it was left on file.He was later sacked and arrested for an allegation from someone else.Im worried if I report this they'll just think it's something I do.I don't,we just seem to have strange caretakers. Thanks for the replies

I'm sorry, OP, this man sounds grim.

Your employer should deal with this and ensure it doesn't happen again.

https://www.acas.org.uk/sexual-harassment

Examples of sexual harassment

Sexual harassment can be a one-off incident or an ongoing pattern of behaviour.
It can happen in person. It can also happen online, for example in meetings, email, social media or messaging tools.
Examples include:

• making sexual remarks about someone's body, clothing or appearance
• asking questions about someone's sex life
• telling sexually offensive jokes
• making sexual comments or jokes about someone's sexual orientation or gender reassignment
• displaying or sharing pornographic or sexual images, or other sexual content
• touching someone against their will, for example hugging them
• sexual assault or rape

What some people might consider as joking, 'banter' or part of their workplace culture can still be sexual harassment.

He's harassing you - he's the troublemaker, not you. Absolutely get onto reporting this asap and do not get fobbed off.

This is vile and he's deliberately trying to make you feel degraded. That's the aim, it's not an accident.

Good luck and I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Yes, it is harassment and totally inappropriate. Please report. And if you feel able, please tell him to his face that you want him to stop.

Either deal with him directly and tell him, in no uncertain terms, to stop. If you are uncomfortable with tgat report to your line manager.
Thus behaviour is not ok!

What the hell!

It's disgusting. He's taking advantage of you by talking dirty.

What kind of working environment is it? I would report this immediately to HR or the manager.

It's in an education setting.That why the last caretaker was sacked for misconduct.Not becouse of me.I reported him for his behaviour towards me and it was filled.When months later he was arrested becouse of reports from a young family report he was instantly dismissed. My complaint was used then I think.Thats why I'm afraid of saying anything this time.I don't want them thinking here we go again.Shes unstable and unsafe to have round male workers

If you don't put a complaint in how can management know and deal with the issue - it will just continue ? This is sexual harassment and you should not have to tolerate it in the work place.

Unfortunately individuals who are willing to share such inappropriate comments often don't take on board feedback from another about how it makes them feel uncomfortable and that it's sexual harassment, they tend to take it as a success that they are having the desired effect and pushing the right buttons.

Because you are worried what HR / Management think you are considering just putting up with more - absolutely not - with the examples you have this not about being unable to be collegiate and work with someone - it is blatant sexual harassment and they will see it for what it is.

You work in an education setting yet this isn't setting of huge red alarm bells that a caretaker is acting completely inappropriately?

You have a duty to report this vile man. If not for yourself then for the children he will be working alongside.

A DBS only means he hasn't been caught yet. He might have a clear one but that doesn't mean he's not a predatory cretin. Report it to your line manager and DSO today!

Fuck me sideways, and we wonder why these things go undetected?