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Moving home back to my home town after becoming a single mum

2 replies

HappyCat99 · 02/12/2024 14:31

I am a mum of a 2 year old, living in a two bedroom flat in London. I love my home and where I live. I have a good job in education and could support myself and my son if it ended up just being the two of us.

My husband of 7 years is flakey. This is the third time he’s had a crisis style melt down of ‘I’m not sure I love you - bla bla bla’. There is a good chance that this time we will split and go our separate ways. I don’t want to live the rest of my life wondering when he’s going to have his next crisis and I have to wait around until he decides if he wants to be with me or not.

As previously stated, I can afford to continue to live in London with my son in the flat if my husband was to move out. However, my family live up North. I am close to my parents and sister and have friends there too. They would become my support system as a newly single mum. I would also be able to afford a larger house with a garden and more space if I were to return to my home town. The problem is, is that although I would be able to get a job to support us, I wouldn’t be able to get the job I have worked really hard to get over the last 5 years. I would have to take a lot of steps back with no opportunity to get back to where I am now.

There’s also my son’s dad to consider. He absolutely adores our son and although he’s not around during the week due to work, I want them both to continue to have a good relationship. When I say up North, it’s very up north.

Has anyone been in a similar position, leaving a big city to return to their support network but in the process leaving their child’s dad behind and their job?

OP posts:
WhichWaytoHere · 03/12/2024 22:46

You don't have to decide straight away, I would give it some time to see how things work out as a single mum in London.

Spagettifunctional · 03/12/2024 22:55

That’s a tricky dilemma op and your husband doesn’t realise how lucky he has it to have a decent wife and lovely child.

but you are right to make your own path and not dance to his tune. If you can afford London then I think I would stay - career wise it sounds good for you and trying to meet half way with your child and all that effort will eat into every occasion and weekend.

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