To start up with friend or stay where I am

[Trufflebutter24]

So backstory: friend and I were discussing setting up our own business together, started out like a “ah that would be cool” and has turned into a “let’s move this forward and go for it” over the course of a few weeks.

The problem I have is that I currently work in what feels like a really big role over 4 days a week, plus two little ones is draining all of my time/ headspace at the moment, I’m also aware whilst work isn’t perfect, there’s lots of additional perks that I get / and would get if I progress.

My friend only works a few hours a week so naturally has more time to focus on work.

I don’t want to let my friend down, and eventually I’d love to have my own business / shared with someone, and something that I could do that’d fit around kids/ life. But… I worry that I don’t have the brain power right now to focus on it. I’m scared to let my friend down, but I’m also scared to let this opportunity pass me by.

Asking for advice

Honestly I'd avoid going into business with a friend or family member.

I made the fatal mistake of mixing family with business and vowed NEVER to do it again. They massively changed the goal posts of our original (legal) agreement and expected me to just "deal with it". When I walked as a result they refused to pay me 2 months wages they owed me and a family war exploded. It all happened a decade ago and as a result I no longer speak to half of my family.

Dont mix business and pleasure for starters.

Also you dont sound in the right place for taking that risk. What if it fails, which many do. Do you have 1/2 years salary behind you as you probably wont make a profit for a good while, certainly not enough to pay 2 of you a living wage. Im guessing a bit as I dont know what industry youre looking to start up in, but with 2 young kids I dont think now is the time

If you're not both equally committed I'd say it's an absolute no go. It can only lead to resentment on her side, and it'll likely end badly for your friendship.

Thanks all. I agree with you, now feels like a bad time. I’ve been completely honest in my correspondence tonight and asked to meet next week, I’m getting in my head about letting her down but realistically I know better to speak now, than f it up later down the line. I have no savings, not really any disposable income for that matter and whilst initial costs are low, they’re still higher than nothing.

Our first business didn't make any money (for salaries) for 3 years. We could cover the business bills from the income after 1.5 years (before that it was development with no income). After 3 years we were on minimum wage (just) for a couple of years. DC were at the end of primary when we started and I worked around their schedule but it consumed every other waking moment! I'd had a modest inheritance so we were able to survive but it's very hard and you do need an income from another source and the headspace to juggle being a mum and working on the business.

Partnerships rarely work. Don’t do it.

Unless you both put in equal time and commitment, I don't see how it could work.