How do you bounce back from repeated failure / bad luck

[ASDnocareer]

2 years of applying for jobs, have a 2.1 humanities degree and did internships at uni (seemingly waste of time as still can’t get real grad job).

Two most recent jobs I got shortlisted for, I was rejected at final stage interview. Both of which I ‘passed’ the interview stage (very stressful for me as an autistic woman) but one company had a restructure so no longer had funding for role, and second was simply close call between more experienced candidate.

All of my friends have significantly overtaken me career/job wise, I’m the only one stuck in a dead end job with nothing to show for the past two years. Including friends who had other challenges such as being from a minority group, non native English speaker or didn’t go to University. I feel stupid planning anything else for my future until I first find a career path that takes me out of living paycheck to paycheck.

Todays rejection came from an internal role I’d applied for, and I’ve been at my company for 2 years and always exceeded my role responsibilities (every performance review was positive). I sometimes think if you’re stuck in a dead end role for too long, other people subconsciously think you’re stupid and not very ambitious.
During the feedback call with the hiring manager for this internal role I was told I really impressed them at interview stage, and did a great job at answering questions but it was a very close call and they had to offer to another candidate. They said they’d still really want to work with me, and they have another job opening in the team but the catch is it’s at my current entry level scale with slightly lower pay than my current role. 🫠 & god forbid I sound negative on the teams call so I have to pretend to be really flattered, although it’s a step down. How do they expect me to survive on the pay. It’s a huge well known public sector company too.

Rejection happens to people all the time, but how do I stay sane after this many rejections across 2 years, with nothing to show. To an outsider looking at my CV I probably just look really stupid and lazy when I’ve been applying like crazy. I lower my expectations and humble myself (laughably I once naively thought I could choose a career, now I’m just desperate)

Also, the company which I was offered the role but they had to retract offer due to restructure and lack of funding. Funnily enough, I then applied for a similar role at the same company after this rejection naively thinking if I got to final stage (and passed) with them before I can just try again. Well, I got auto rejected from the first stage this time 😂

Morning, OP. We can see you didn't get any replies when you posted this in Chat last night, so we'll move it to our Work board and see if the thread fares better there. Good luck with it all.

This sounds very disheartening. Could you tell us what subject your degree was and what roles you are looking at?

If you take the slightly lower paid role will it help you move towards the sort of job you really want? If you are going to be learning new skills why not go for it?

Generally, it's easier to make sideways moves within a company as people view you as more of a known quantity.

And well done for getting good performance reviews - that will stand you in good stead. It's good to build a reputation.

Can you go to any meetups or free talks in your chosen area?
Any LinkedIn groups you can join?

This sounds really tough, OP.

Is there anyone you work with that you could reach out to? A mentor? Someone that can support you with applications/ interviews? From my limited experience with the public sector they seem keen to help people progress.

I wouldn't worry about what your CV looks like, are there any courses/ online training you can do to show that you are looking to progress?

I am not sure what roles you are looking at etc - are you applying to the civil service? Their recruitment process is very different to the private sector and takes a bit of honing.

If you’re autistic can you apply for any disability confident employers? Are you able to explore accommodations like getting the interview questions in advance? Sorry it really is demoralising 💐. Are you able to move sideways into a sector with shortages?

9th Job interview in recent times leading to a second interview.
Feels like a numbers game. and it’s so fortunate if you meet someone who has ever been in your situation personally along the way so much the better.

I had a similar trajectory - BA degree and started in the public sector and struggled to progress. I have autism in the family and I share many of their traits. The public sector can be quite woolly and political which is tough for some autistic traits.

Reassess your skills and strengths, what you enjoy in work. Explore career options and how to change career. Careers coaching can help if you can afford it, it is an investment. I switched to accounting and it’s much better for me, more factual, a clearer progression and the ability to become an expert professional.

Some companies were a bad culture fit, I’ve felt most comfortable in places where there are more likely to be autistic people - software programmers for example. My directness is more acceptable and my new ways of problem solving are appreciated more in the private sector.

If you are open about your autism it may work against you, sadly. This can be more so for women who have different standards applied - a direct man is seen very differently to a direct woman.

Try not to compare to your peers. This is your life, your career and it is not a race. You have loads of time. Many people start again much later in life. Enjoy the journey.