Boss from hell - is this discrimination?

[80smusiclover]

Been in my current job 21 years (full time). I'm 4 yrs from retirement. My two previous bosses loved me ! Got a new boss 5 yrs ago & knew from the start she didn't really like me. We can't like everyone we work with, so hey ho. She has her favourites and one she usually picks on. For the last 3 yrs it's been me. It's a pattern I've noticed. She's mid-40's, ambitious. A grafter too though.

Last year I lost my partner and 2 weeks after I returned to work she said some highly inappropriate things in my return to work meeting. I spoke to HR and employee assistance (I'm not in a union) and they were sympathetic to my plight but I didn't take it any further.

Soon after I saw a document that said things were extremely difficult for her when I returned. FOR HER?!!! I was the one that was grieving. Lost my soulmate and I don't have any kids or close friends. Family deserted me and my partner's family treated me like a stranger. I was suicidal ffs. And she knew all this.

There's been loads of other occasions too. She likes to get a dig if I make a mistake (in front of my colleagues). Work life's become unbearable.

This year I've been ill since March off and on, vomiting, abdominal pain, didn't know what was wrong. Thought I had gallstones (again!). Saw a doctor 3 wks ago, had an ultrasound and turns out I might have womb cancer. I'm waiting for an internal scan appointment any day now. I also have an abnormal liver and a gallstone. Lucky me ! I'm beside myself, sick with worry.

The issue is this - I also suffer badly with anxiety. Had it 15 yrs, menopause related. There's no cure and I've had loads of therapy. Tablets don't always help, adrenaline takes over. I'm sure there's people on here who know what that's like. The past 8 months have been a nightmare, I'm even worse now.

I had a parking space at our old office but we moved this year. I asked her to look into getting a space for me due my anxiety and she just said 'there's no parking available for anyone'. (not really what I asked her, but anyway).

She doesn't take my health issues seriously so I went around it by looking into it on my own. I didn't tell her as I knew she'd be absolutely fuming. I know her well enough now to know what she's like. Followed the proper channels to book a space (there are a few, not very many) when I'm really anxious about getting to work on time. I'm in 2 days a week. I make it clear when I book that I don't want to take a space from anyone, but I do have a valid reason for asking and so far it's been fine.

She told me today that she knows. She said she saw me going into the car park months ago (why wait til now?!) and went ballistic today at our monthly catch up. Ranted and raved 'do you think I'm an idiot?', 'I demand respect' and loads of other shit too. She said there were 'far more deserving people in the building who don't book a space' (it's 7 floors, but not always busy as people work from home a fair number of days). She even said stuff like, 'my gran died recently and you didn't offer condolences' - what the fuck has that got to do with me parking in the car park ??! Just more digs. I said, 'I've got rather a lot on my mind at the moment, sorry'. 'I accept your apology' she said.

She also said that before we moved she'd told me to get a doctor letter about having a disability and she'd look into me getting a car park space. That's a complete lie. She never ever said that to me or I'd have definitely gone down that route.

She also said I'm lying to my colleagues. I disagreed. It's none of their business and doesn't affect them or my work.

Now I know a bully when I see one, I'm not an idiot and I've been working over 40 years, and she is classic at turning things around to make her the victim, just like they always do.

We left things rather badly, she walked out to let me compose myself but I just don't know how to take things forward. I left the office shortly after, couldn't even say goodbye I was so upset.

As far as I'm concerned I'm not doing anything wrong. I've a valid health issue. I follow the correct procedures and make sure I'm not causing anyone any problems.

Does any of this sound like she's discriminating against me?

Sorry for the long post but it's been a fucking hard time, especially the last two years.

This is bullying and she sounds unhinged. You need to go to HR and the union. Make an appointment with your doctor. Everything from now on is in writing including this.

I survived 10 months of bullying and it took me years to recover. You can do without this whilst you are physically unwell.

The behaviour is obviously unacceptable and qualifies as bullying, as your line manager ought to be careful with her actions and language and uphold professional standards even if there is a personality clash as other have suggested. You can bring a grievance about bullying but I suspect it wont go far because employers dont' act fair with this.
The only real solution would be to bring a claim of harassment to the employment tribunal. Then everyone will sit up and listen. Employment tribunals are set up to work with self representation so you shouldnt' think you absolutely need the help of a lawyer, there is enough info around.
First you need to check with your doctor or a mental health charity whether your anxiety can be considered a disability. If you find that this is the case then you know you can go to the ET. The way to do that would be to first let your employer know about your health issue (this is necessary because it brings in the element of vicarious liablity) and then record your line manager's conduct in digital or handwritten dated notes. Contemporaneous notes are accepted as evidence.
The problem with the employment tribunal is that there is a 3 month limit to bring a claim starting from any incident that qualifies. There is no timeline in your comments so it is difficult to tell whether you can include what's happened up to now. If you qualify as disabled and you let your employer know of this you could bring a claim in the next few months. Harassment cases can be based on a couple of incidents of a series of behaviours leading to a last straw incident. So you could read about this and just sit and wait and record your experiences until you think you have enough. Any evidence you can gather will of course be valuable. If you can bring a grievance to your employer during this time and it is handled unfairly then this will add to your tribunal claim. It is important to be clever and patient and make the offending behaviour work for your benefit.

Another way to address harassment is with a claim under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 but this will be a civil claim and more time consuming and costly.
Hope you find this useful and good luck