Finding decent job when autistic - how?!

[JobhuntingDespair]

I'm feeling awful right now, having done an online pre-recorded interview for the Civil Service today, and feeling I didn't do well. I was so pleased I'd passed their Situational Judgement Test, and the first sift of written application. Now it feels like I've messed up.

I didn't ask for any adjustments for the interview because I didn't think they'd be able to fairly allow adjustments that would have helped me (like not a horrible pre-recorded thing! But looking online when prepping for it everyone seems to find them hard!)

More generally it's so hard in so many ways to find work. I have repeatedly made myself ill in the past trying to do jobs that don't match my skillset, or are hugely stressful with difficult hours, because these are the minimum wage jobs I can get. So have CV gaps, very limited employment history. Main thing is a decade gap after breaking down before I knew I was autistic and found ways to manage. I did get a degree in this time (Bsc, 2.1).

Frustratingly, the first job I had after this gap went well for the first year or so, then things changed that made the job (or rather hours etc) so difficult I burnt out and ended up off sick and then leaving. (Posted about it on here - general consensus was leave!) So I couldn't just find a new job whilst working, as I'd intended when I took the job as a first step back to work. I've had one job since then and left after two months (a fortnight ago) because it broke me. (Domiciliary care work. Annoyingly, I thrived on the actual job, but the poor management, and bizarre timetable/zero hour contract made it unbelievably stressful. But again it was meant to be a temp job whilst I found something better for me.)

The main thing that's so hard is PROVING I am capable of things. Because I don't have the work history to pull examples from. Examples from studying or other things only cover so much. Also having had roles with little autonomy, I often (for example) see where things could be done more effectively but have no power to implement change. So don't have those sort of examples.

I wish there was a way to actually try a job
for a bit to show what I can do.

I've tried finding schemes to support autistic people in finding employment but there never seems to be anything suitable. I don't meet the cliché of being a computer genius or anything. And the things I am struggling with aren't the expected difficulties with reading people or making eye contact or whatever.

I've got so much to offer. I'm dedicated, pay attention to detail and getting things right (but balanced with getting things done!), I'm actually quite good with people, I'm fairly intelligent and can synthesise complex information and make informed decisions over a course of action, I'm very quick thinking when necessary (except in some job interviews!) Probably more stuff too but not thinking straight now as so sad.

I just want someone to give me a chance.
(A part-time chance. Which is another complication...)
I've battled so hard for so many years, I wish an employer could see what I've done to get where I am. I'd be employed in an instant!

I'd really appreciate any advice, and frankly, a handhold right now.

Thanks for reading.

If you've graduated within the last 5 years, you'd be eligible for the Leonard Cheshire Change 100 program, which is for people with disabilities and long term health conditions. It matches them to placements in various fields (a lot of which lead to jobs!) with companies that sign up to the program, so understand that the applicants need additional adjustments.
Change 100 applicants | Leonard Cheshire
Applications close fairly soon (Nov 21st) but you should have enough time to get yours in.

It is very hard, I’m a seasoned interviewee and I’m now on the 6th reject in two months.

As a middle-aged call centre worker used to operating 7+ systems and done far more I find myself being asked if I am computer literate. I actually had to thank the latest employer in the private sector to interview me for having a copy of my CV before setting foot in or near the interview room. Apparently it was just me and another if I’m to believe that. Trying to get out of ‘public sector fixed term’ as seen enough and it is something I thoroughly regret even bothering with.

Just very hard out there.

It's a tough market at the moment. Do ask for adjustments, we do it all the time and that includes things like sharing questions or topics in advance or allowing extra time. Finding part time work is notoriously difficult so I'd guess that's your biggest barrier (I work part time myself so know from experience). It's so much easier to get if you are already in the job. In your favour, the law has changed and you can ask for flexible working from day 1 in a job which may help you. Good luck OP.

Are you expecting more than reasonable accommodations in employment? Your taking a job should not require more than that. You may have to make some adjustments to maintain a job. We always can't have everything our way.

@WellyBellyBoo
Wow, sharing questions in advance! That would have been so helpful, but I assumed something no one would ever consider as an adjustment.

@OhcantthInkofaname
Nope, don't really need any adjustments when actually in work. Or at least not if it's vaguely suitable work (if it's not suitable, no amount of adjustments would help so I wouldn't go for the job!)
It's a bit much to say "we can't have everything our way" when I outlined in my OP that I had a job that was going well until things were changed by my employer, and that the MN consensus was that it was a nightmare!

@xmasdealhunter
Thanks, that actually looks helpful. Unfortunately it's unlikely to help me right now as it's for summer internships and I need work ASAP. It also depends on whether there's anything suitable without having to relocate (I live in a well connected city so hopefully ok.) Might apply anyway cos who knows what will be happening by the summer!

The program offers mentoring + support before the programs start in the summer so it's well worth applying- they can help you find out which accommodations employers are legally required to help you with, how to advocate for yourself etc :)

Do you know what it is you’d like to do? If you enjoyed care work you might like nursing-and a nursing degree is pretty much “trying the job out” for 3 years. Most student nurses get jobs in the trusts they did placements in. All your strengths sound like you’d make a very capable nurse. It doesn’t matter if you already have a degree as you can get Student Finance for a second NHS degree. Failing that, have you thought about HCA work/support work? It’s similar to care work but work within the NHS is much more structured and the NHS is generally supportive of disabilities/neurodiversities.

@JennieTheZebra
Whilst I do have some of the capabilities that would make a good nurse - no. For many reasons. I wouldn't even make it through the course. I considered nursing when young (and actually got a place to study) but I thank my lucky stars life intervened and stoppped me starting (and failing) the course.

🙄 There's always one.

then things changed that made the job (or rather hours etc) so difficult I burnt out and ended up off sick and then leaving

Reasonable adjustments can include altered hours.

When you get another job, apply to Access For Work.

Do you have a sense of what is particularly hard for you, work-wise? E.g. what factors led to burn-out? My sense is that many aspects of work that are particularly hard on the ND nervous system are hard to know about in advance and awkward to ask for reasonable adjustments to - e.g. crap management, unclear internal comms, restructurings, ambiguity or frequent changes around job descriptions, objectives, workflows, etc.

Is there something you could do on a freelance basis, where the work environment and company culture wouldn’t necessarily be such a major factor?

Holding your hand in the way you would find comforting.

It's hard. I believe one can more easily do hard things if it is done with compassion.

Have you considered being self-employed?

What are the specific situations or work that add to the stress and burn you out? I don’t want to make assumptions but can you be a little specific is it noise levels, physical space, task juggling? I worked with a great guy diagnosed with autism. He was a researcher so had lots of time alone but did do some teaching but gave tutorials only so small groups and not full lectures.

@ViciousCurrentBun and @Bunnyhair
(Loving the rabbity names!)

In terms of what is stressful work...
Jobs that don't occupy my brain at all. Example: working as PA to disabled lady. Pottered around doing housework whilst she worked, which was theoretically easy but felt as if I was held captive and made me mentally deteriorate, whole world seemed grim and despairing... then she'd be back for personal care and I'd immediately be fine cos my brain was occupied by chatting with her. Anything where you end up clock-watching without much to get on with. (Doing my own housework is fine, cos when it's done it's done and I can do something else!)

My last job ... zero hours contract so had weeks of only 10 hours (not enough to live on!) yet other staff overwhelmed with too many shifts (often worked in pairs so got a good sense of other colleague's frustrations!). Shifts with large gaps in (didn't get paid between clients if more than 29mins, but couldn't use time to do anything else, travel time to next client unpaid). So you're at work 7 hours but end up paid for 5. Having to pop into office (unpaid time) for things that could be sorted over the phone. Being treated like an idiot by manager, when in fact I'd uncovered their care plan for a client was wildly out of date and they had no idea how ill client actually was (did manage to sort that one out, but again loads of unnecessary time and stress). Altogether work taking up way longer than the hours I was actually paid for (I get this if it's salaried you have busier times/longer hours at points, but hourly paid at just above min wage this isn't ok.) Shifts finishing at 11pm but expected in work at 7am next day. Shifts marked at starting at 6.20am but "everyone knows" that client won't let you in then so go at 7... spend whole shift apologising for being 40mins late to everyone else (stupid gap in shift useful here to catch up, but still paid as if you've had that gap). Clients being told wildly wrong times to expect us, not rectified despite flagging it up.
I could go on, but I won't...
Basically work taking up way more time and stress than I was getting paid for. Also having zero autonomy over managing workload.
(OTOH actual work difficult situations I'm fine - recently went to couple client's house and one of them appeared to be dead (was actually just v ill) and calmly and rapidly did all the right things!)

Antisocial hours has been a big issue too. I don't want to work another Christmas. I am single and painfully childless (it's hard to keep going at all sometimes) and just can't cope anymore with missing out on nephews/nieces/wider family. Also v important to keeping my mental health ok to have some fun times outside work - this is more the combination of antisocial hours and random shifts; no regular day off or ability to plan anything (even coffee with a friend) without having to book holiday. (Easier in my early 20s, now a recipe for social isolation.) Being expected to be available early morning to late evening, 365 days a year. (I'm actually good at going in to provide cover at short notice if I'm available... but the general expectation of constant availability is too much.) A Mon-Fri 9-5 is like a dream to me!

To be fair, the neurotypical people I've talked to about this say they wouldn't be able to stand it either!

My sense is that many aspects of work that are particularly hard on the ND nervous system are hard to know about in advance and awkward to ask for reasonable adjustments to - e.g. crap management, unclear internal comms, restructurings, ambiguity or frequent changes around job descriptions, objectives, workflows, etc.

Yes! In my last job a lot of unnecessary stress was caused by management, and important things we weren't told.
I haven't encountered these things too much in the jobs I've had, but as I try to move into having an office job they become a concern. However I do feel more confident in asking for clarity (and explaining I'm autistic) than I used to (rather than just quietly stressing out). I don't have as many problems with unspoken rules, reading between the lines, sarcasm, and so on, as other autistic people do either (and am neurotypical+ at body language).

Sorry this is so long, it's been quite cathartic to write...

What did you get your degree in - that would help alin suggestions with your area of interest and experience. Did you do a dissertation?

It sounds like you need to aim higher rather than lower, intellectually. My ASD DD thrives in a really hard maths class but can go to pieces if she has to fill an afternoon just passing time or hanging out.

What do you like to do, what has made you happy?

If you like caring, are there agencies that allow you to operate as a freelance home care person? Then you can choose your hours and not be sitting around waiting for the clock to go by.

I'd be amazed in this time of lack of carers in the community that this could not be found. Or set up as a freelance home help?

God, this is so galling to read, OP, as clearly we need more carers like you and the system is such an utter shambles, and workers so exploited and devalued. And yes, this set up is going to be awful for people of all neurotypes - but even harder if you have a problem solving mind that can’t let go of wanting to make things work better.

Do you want a job where you go in somewhere? To get a bit of casual social contact / external structure? Or do you think you’d like to work at home? I wonder if you might enjoy being a virtual PA or similar - you could have a varied workload and could do it from home and manage your own schedule. And the people I know who do it find it gives them opportunities to learn all sorts of new things.

Thank you so much for this link, my DD would be eligible for this support when she graduates in 2026. I do worry how she will cope in work

@Bunnyhair
God, this is so galling to read, OP, as clearly we need more carers like you and the system is such an utter shambles, and workers so exploited and devalued.

Yes, it's awful. IMO the people with the best qualities suited to care work are precisely the people who can't stick it out. If you don't care as much and are thick skinned enough to stay, you're less likely to be suited to it!

Do you want a job where you go in somewhere? To get a bit of casual social contact / external structure? Or do you think you’d like to work at home?

I'd like to go somewhere, although would also appreciate some opportunity to work from home if that's an option. One of the many reasons I was so suited to this Civil Service job (that I now won't get).

@HeBeaverandSheBeaver

Freelance means I'd be self-employed with the pitfalls that entails.
When I started the domiciliary care job, the idea was that I could pick hours to some extent (and do extra to cover last minute staff absence, when I was able to) however this meant when there was a day or two I couldn't do I wasn't offered alternative hours, just lost out on the work. Despite other staff being overwhelmed with shifts. And was only once called to cover a shift at short notice despite being aware the company had a high sicknes rate. Bizarre management.

I don't want to do care work anymore, for various reasons.

@JobhuntingDespair
I left one of the main civil service depts last year. Generally the civil service is supportive of people with disabilities and will consider a range of reasonable adjustments.
One of my team members had ASD, he wouldn't have kept his job without the adjustments, these included giving him a fixed desk in the right spot in the office instead of hot desking, being a bit more generous on the clear desk policy, ensuring he took proper breaks away from the desk, small adjustment to working hours, not over loading him with large amounts of work at once - if there was a lot on it would all be set out in writing, I would prioritise for him. The team had a range of duties so we could play to his strengths.

If you don't ask you don't get - so ask for interview adjustments.
The person in my team was 28 when he arrived - his first proper job, he got it through the apprenticeship programme. The civil service generally is trying to increase diversity - in most depts you would be pushing at an open door

@LadyQuackBeth
It sounds like you need to aim higher rather than lower, intellectually. My ASD DD thrives in a really hard maths class but can go to pieces if she has to fill an afternoon just passing time or hanging out.

Yes, I think this too. I mean, I can fill my own time with interesting things, I don't need structure per se. But I need to be mentally enagaged to some degree.

My degree is in Psychology. It's a Bsc not BA so have grounding in the scientific method, statistics, etc, as well as the more flowery parts of psychology. Optional modules covered a lot of social psychology/crossing over into sociology too. In a dream life I'd probably be a psychological researcher but unfortunately other life things/situations mean I cannot fund nor manage the road to academia.

I'm studying counselling in an evening class, which I love. The role of counsellor is so engaging, fascinating, and satisfying to help someone work through their thoughts and feelings, asking the right questions or noticing things that lead down a path where they have a helpful realisation. However, after this course (level 3) I need to pause and not rush on to level 4. This is due to the demands of the course, part-time over 2 years but needing to work part-time as well to actually live. Plus mentally and emotionally I'm too broken atm for it to be suitable.
It has, however, provided some evidence for job applications to show I can do peopling!

Wow, sharing questions in advance! That would have been so helpful, but I assumed something no one would ever consider as an adjustment.

Just to say, this is actually a super-common adjustment to make in interviews. It’s so common a lot of places are beginning to offer it as standard practice. Don’t be afraid to ask.

@Ted27

That's what I thought re. the civil service. However I'm not sure about "pushing at a open door" - unless they're actually practicing positive discrimination. I thought the equality and diversity stuff was kept separate from the application, although would be obvious if adjustments were made, I suppose. I did tick the disability confident box, so not sure if I'd have got an interview otherwise (although was personally pleased with my written application and thought I stood a chance regardless).

@everyone
Thank you for taking the time to offer thoughts and suggestions, it's really appreciated