Is it worth complaining about manager or just leave?

[Winternights19374]

I don't know what to do for the best. My Job I love, I love what I do, the place , and all of the people apart from my manager .

We have to work closely so are together all the time, never get a break from it. She has never been a manager before and has no people management skills whatsoever.
The person before me left because of the manager I have now found out . And now I want to leave too.
I don't want to give too many details but this is in an educational setting)
She is very confrontational and seems to make it her mission every day to accuse , blame , make you feel bad. I am all for feedback and constructive criticism but this is way beyond this and is not balanced by anything positive. She has never thanked me, or said well done, has never given me any support or encouragement. She has also blamed myself and other staff for things that were her fault. If you do something she doesn't like, she will go for days not speaking to you , not saying goodmorning or goodbye. It's absolutely ridiculous.
It's got to the point now where I'm dreading going in every day, I cried in work last week, I've not been sleeping , headaches, chest pain, and generally feeling run down, all because of her. And getting upset when I get home at night.
I've started to look for other work and have an interview this week. I feel so angry that I am having to leave when I like it there.
It's also not just me, the other admin staff feel the same and as i say one left for that reason.
If I do leave, I shall be telling the head the reason why and I'm not holding back.
But my family are telling me to stay in the job and raise a formal complaint against her. Why should I leave and she gets to stay in her management job happy as larry? As much as I feel this is the right thing to do, I will still have to work with her every day and I think it will just make things worse between us. Any advice?

I'd be looking for another job in that situation. It's not worth ruining your mental health for the sake of work.

Are you worried about references if you leave after complaining?

What is your manager's manager like? And are they aware of the issues and why your predecessor left? Do you get the impression there will be a workable resolution?

In theory, yes, raise a complaint but in practice, results can be mixed.

No just leave and don't do anything to help either the transition to a new employee

Document everything you can. Save emails. If she says things verbally follow up in an email so you have a record ('following our conversation earlier when you said x...').

Then complain. Whether you leave or not, complain. She'll never learn and the next person will suffer too.

Document everything and grievance her sorry ass.

Managers like this are cunts and you can only change things if you fight back.

It would be noble of you to raise it but nothing but trouble for you. They won't get rid of her so you will have to work with her.

LTB

My question would be, what does "winning" look like? Because all too often you can raise a grievance, but it will either paint a target on your back, or it will be you who is moved somewhere else. It is seldom that the manager changes or that they are missed or dismissed. If you think your organisation is one of the rare ones that will deal with her, then raise a grievance. If not then move on. It isn't worth it.

Just leave. Think of it as escape. So much easier. There is no winning, as there is no prize.

I’d love to complain about mine. My colleague did and sadly shown the door after the complaint was over. Equally it’s annoying when managers get away with such behaviour. I think they usually favour the manager unless there has been significant complaints made prior

I would put in a grievance and say it us affecting your wellbeing. Your manager clearly does not understand the role of manager ... to nurture, develop and take her team with her ... its the only way to succeed, with happy staff!

I've considered raising a grievance over my manager but not really sure it will do anything. She completely fails to manage, doesn't check stuff she is meant to which could potentially affect vulnerable people, allows staff to come and go as they wish without pulling anyone up on anything etc. Like you I would really like the job if it wasn't for her and lazy colleagues.

What have you got to lose? If someone has already left because of her, you'd be doing them a favour, and they might manage her out rather than lose good staff. Higher management may be aware of the issue anyway.

Controversial opinion but - have you tried directly telling her that you don’t appreciate the way she manages you and that you’d like things to change? There’s a chance that nobody has ever actually challenged her directly and so, best case, she doesn’t realise what a shit manager she is and thinks she is doing great, or worst case, thinks she can get away with it because nobody ever calls her out.

The first question I would ask you if you came to me with this would be ‘what did she say when you raised your concerns with her?’

You might feel awful at the prospect of challenging her directly but, you already feel awful going to work right now.

I’d take a deep breath, and factually and calmly present to her what your concerns are and crucially, frame it as looking for a solution and to improve things.

Make a note of everything. Then go to the higher ups if you need to and you will be able to say ‘I raised this directly with Sandra and suggested solutions and she’s done nothing.’ Which is much stronger than ‘Sandra’s a cowbag who hates me.’

I had a Manager like this for years.
I now manage a team myself and I always use my experience as a way of how I would never treat my staff.
I think you should consider complaining as she will just continue treating staff the same way.
Do any other staff feel the same ?

In my experience unfortunately the only thing to do is leave or seek a transfer within the company. My current manager joined nearly 3 years ago, she was horrendous as she had never had previous management experience and came in guns blazing and treating us like naughty school children. One colleague (who was doing a fine job till the new manager started terrorising her) raised a grievance against her and was forced out with a PIP soon after. After putting up with her controlling nature for 3 years I have now requested a transfer to another department which thankfully was granted straight away by senior management. Everyone (including senior management) knows what she's like as she's had run-ins with practically everyone in the company but they won't do anything about it.

i was in this position for 5 years. It wrecked havoc on my mental health. Two previous people had been paid off and one had complained. Nobody higher up on the organization liked her either. I gave in my notice and sent everything to HR and told them I would be raising a grievance unless they let me go early. I didn’t care about burning the bridge because I was too angry about how she had treated me. But of course nothing was really done about it, and she still has her job but I had to give up everything I had built up and worked hard for within that company.

Best thing to do is get out and work for someone who appreciates you. That’s what I did and now I barely remember or think about it when previously it was making me miserable every day.