Accepted a new role but terrified I'll burn out like in the last one

[Oceangreyscale]

Background is that I was in my last role I had a highly toxic manager, insane workload and pressure. I ended up ill with stress and eventually leaving with a large settlement for the poor treatment.

For the last few months I've had some time off to recover and have then been working part time, in a short term contract, which has been fine.

I've applied meanwhile for a bunch of other stuff and have now been offered a role and have accepted it. It basically ticks almost all the boxes and is well paid and the people I met seemed nice. Starts in a few weeks.

However. I'm feeling incredibly anxious and stressed in a way I haven't for the past few months.

I feel like it's almost inevitable that I'll fail because there are things I'll be expected to know how to do and don't. And that I'll clash with my manager. And that the corporate culture will be a poor fit for me. And the work life balance will be bad, I won't see my kids enough and I'll burn out again and just be miserable. And no matter how bad it is I'll have to stay for years so it doesn't look weird I left.

Realistically, there will be things I don't know how to do and it will be hard, because senior level jobs are like that. I guess that's normal.

But I don't know how to reign in these feelings that are obviously coming out because of the terrible experience I had last time, and how to stop them sabotaging this role.

Bump? Probably should have put this in mental health.

Have you had any counseling since you left the toxic workplace, Op? You might find it helpful to reframe your experience and rebuild your confidence. Remember - the workplace was the problem, not you. It’s hard to see that when you’ve been beaten down by a toxic experience. You may also need time to recover but just getting into a healthy work environment may really help. Best of luck.

Go for it OP. I was in the same place and have just changed role. I feel like a new person. You can do it!

Your anxiety might not completely go until you’ve started in the new role. It’s normal due to the inherent uncertainty but really heightened for you due to your past experiences. I find somatic exercises really useful (yoga, deep breathing, dancing) as well as writing things out to regain a bit of control. I find this exercise so useful and would recommend. Write down a few sentences for each. Only takes 5 minutes but brings back some self belief.

I'm in a similar boat. I had a settlement following awful stress. I can just talk about it without crying. I tried to apply for jobs straight away but my brain couldn't compute.

What I've done instead is decluttering and personal admin and neglected health tasks etc. I can't say I feel a new person but I feel ready to look. I also did a list of what was good and not good about the last role which was helpful.

CBT is also good.