Returning to work from mat leave

[Sylvansunshine]

Hi, Thinking of returning to work from mat leave on condensed hours 37.5 (plus 30min unpaid lunch’s) over 4 days. With childcare covered 8-6 for 4 days. I work a mix in base and at home. Hoping I can work flexibly and do some work in the evening. My baby will be 1 years old then.

I don’t know many people with kids. Please could I get some advice. Does anyone do this and does it work for them? Please could you share a typical morning and after work routine with your baby so I can get an idea of what I could do, I would love to just drop my hours to 4 days but I worry about the financial impact. I also don’t want to miss my baby grow up,

Any advice or reflections on your own experiences would be really helpful. Thank you!

Honestly it's hard. I work normal hours and really it feels like wake up, drop off, pick up, straight to bedtime routine.

Baby maybe is in bed 7-7ish but isn't a good sleeper. Never has been but particularly bad at the moment. Trying to walk, teething. I wouldn't be able to work in evenings. He wakes every 30-60 min.

If you have an awesome sleeper you could potentially work like 7-9 each night but I usually need to make myself dinner etc in that time and need a bit of chill before bed or my brain is too wired.

My husband did this with our first, but he stopped after 4months as he was knackered and working incredibly long days. He’d leave before DD was up and get home after dinner. We ended up compressing to 4.5days each and we looked after DD half a day each on a Friday. DD was a bad sleeper though, so if yours is ok it might work better!

Thank you, it’s really helpful to hear your experience. I have been concerned that my ideal of doing work in the evenings isn’t realistic. My baby is about 6 months old now and is not sleeping well. I fear this will still be the case in another 6 months or more. Maybe it would be best for me to take the financial hit…it’s such a tough decision.

Depends on the baby and how much sleep you need. I drop off at 8am and my husband picks up at 6pm. They get home at 6:20, he makes dinner, bath time at 7/7:15pm, asleep by 7:45pm I walk through the door at 7:15pm and join in. One will put to bed, the other will start cooking the adults dinner. We then eat, tidy up the kitchen, put a load of washing on, tidy the front room. Have a shower and get all bags ready for the next days. I sit down at 9/9:15pm, check my emails maybe reply to urgent ones. But I don't actually do any actual work. In bed by 10pm to get up at 5:30/6am.

Working in the evening is okay if you have time but I find the evenings I spend preparing for the next day, tidying up and doing any household admin.

I do this but I work from home 90% of the time and find it fine

Thanks all! My first time posting on mums net and have been surprised by how quickly people have responded. Really appreciate you sharing your experience and advice.

I don’t know how people manage this. I already feel I don’t get them to bed early enough or have enough of an evening with them.

I already struggle to fit in a normal day at work.

But I know people who work flexibly and do the additional hours in an evening or when the kids are at gymnastics on a Sunday.

I do 5 days over 4, I used to drop off at nursery at 7.40 and partner would pick up just before 5 (he leaves the house at 7 to be able to do this) I tend to still be working when they get in..but that day off with him was precious.. I do the same hours now he's at school so I can do at least one proper drop off and pick up a week.
I do work from home the majority of the time

It's hard. Really hard. I have 2 and I have gone to 30 hours over 4 days and it's still really bloody hard. 24 hours over 3 days would be my absolute dream and is what I'm working toward.

I did 37.5 hours in 4 days for a few months but had to go back to 5 days as I found it really hard
My partner would get the baby up and dressed and passed her to me at the door at 7:30.
I'd drop her at nursery and get to work either office or home at 8am (luckily work is super close)
I'd finish at 5:30 to pick her up at 5:45
Home at 6/6:10 as traffic is worse at night
Partner home around the same time
Then her dinner and bed time, asleep by 7
Then we'd eat, sort some washing and dishwasher and bed!
What I struggled with is trying to get my work done
My company is super flexible so if you want to start late/finish early/go to appointments it's fine, you just work round it
but I never had any time for flexibility as I was only just about working enough hours
Combine that with the million illnesses babies get at nursery and I fell really brind at work and honestly have never caught up
Not sure how many people in salaries jobs actually only work their contracted hours too - I realised even working bang on 37.5 hours i really struggled to get what was needed done
At least doing 5 days I have time to be flexible around appointments, taking days off to look after the baby, working longer during a busy period and taking it back when it's quiet
I thought it was a great idea in principal but not in practice

My job is 4 days, 8-6. That's just the way the shifts work so no choice on that front. Honestly though, I've not found it terrible. I'm on my own with my DD. I drop her at nursery at 7:45. Pick her up at 6:15. Home by 6:30 for a snack, a bath and a book in bed. Asleep by 7:15ish. I do have a hot meal at work to take some of the pressure off evening meals.
I also have a Wednesday off for the most part, which splits the week up and we get to spend some time together. So I'm only ever doing two shifts in a row. Which definitely helps when she's having a bloody nightmare time with sleeping as you drag yourself through a couple days and then have a chilled (ish... it's never ultra chilled with a toddler!) day off together.
Bar dropping hours, I honestly wouldn't change the set up. Makes the balance feel much more appropriate.

In terms of evening working, if you can't find a nursery/childcare to cover an 8-6 day, could you possibly drop your hours down to 33.5 and do 8-5? Means you're not losing an entire day's money, but still get to manage pick up without having to worry about working in the evenings.
I'm lucky in that while the work I do is very active and on my feet all day, I walk out and leave it at the door. Very much a case of not bringing it home with me. So my evenings are entirely mine.

We would take struggle with this, especially if we had to be in the office. We both work 5 days, but prioritise all having breakfast and dinner together, with a bit of work in the evenings.

Compressed days would be sooo long and leave little to no time with the baby - which is grand the odd time but you'd be doing it 4 times a week. Also, there's often a full-time discount so you may not save 20% on your childcare.

From a work pov - do you usually get everything done inside your working hours or do you go over? They're not likely to authorise you compressing your hours if it means you're doing 80% of the hours everyone else is doing but wanting full pay.

And yeah, the sleep thing. One of mine in particular was shit as a toddler, I was good for nothing after bedtime.

I think it is unrealistic to do those hours, 4 days a week, every week, then be getting up in the night for a baby, and of course limited lie-ins or ability to otherwise have a nap during the day on a weekend.

37.5 hours over 4 days is 9hrs 40 per day, plus your 30min lunch break means 10 hrs 10mins per day. Plus travel. Which probably takes you up to a long enough day you wouldn't see your baby on those 4 days.
That's not worth it for one day at home.

Have a look at what your take home pay would be for 4 days. Remember, because of the personal allowance, you don't lose 1/5 of your FT take home pay. You would also be saving on your Nursery / Childminder costs. You might find it more affordable than you think.

I am using up my annual leave (accrued 58 days as I didn't take much time off while pregnant plus while I was in maternity leave) to have one day off per week until next year.

DP has compressed his hours so that he works 2 12 hour shifts and 2 9-5s per week. He's constantly exhausted but we both get one day at home with the baby and he only goes in to nursery 3 days per week. The poor thing is fed up when we pick him up at 5:15 ish, then it's home, dinner, bath and bed and I feel like I don't get much time with him

It is a struggle. I go in the office one day per week when baby's with dad and the next day I'm shattered. We live 10 mins walk from the nursery but even so every morning feels chaotic.

You might want to consider working 10 days over 9 and alternating days/weeks with you husband so that you're home with the baby on a Monday week one, he's home with the baby in week 2 etc. This is much more manageable than compressing your hours 5 into 4 and I know a couple of people who have this arrangement.

Could you afford to drop to 32 hours & just work 4 × 8 hour days?

Could you request a drop to 32 hours per week (so 8 hrs days?)

Hi, sorry I am very late replying to your posts. Thanks so much to all of you for your input and taking the time to respond. I genuinely found all your advice very helpful. I took some time to reflect and work things out and decided to cut my hours down to 32 over 4 days. I just had the request accepted! Mixed emotions about this but I think it’s the right option for me and my family right now. I’m just going to have to be much more careful with money,
Thank you!
Have a wonderful Christmas if you are celebrating, enjoy the holiday. x

Congratulations OP, glad you've made a decision you're happy with. Sorry can't remember your circumstances exactly, just got a notification that you'd replied, but remember that your cut in pay is a family expense just like childcare fees - your partner should be feeling the financial loss too.

Thank you! Yes that is so true.

Remember to make sure they reduce your work load accordingly @Sylvansunshine
When people reduce by a few hours they can find they're doing a full time job for part time pay.

Thank you, yes that is so true! It definitely was a concern of mine about dropping my hours. I am going to have to set strong boundaries for work and myself.

Have you done the sums for what happens if you do 4.5 days across 4? I’m actually going to be better off in my monthly take home pay than if I did 5 in 4!

I do FT over 4.5 days, DC in nursery during the week, but WFH Fridays with family support. I leave house at 7:30, pick up by 6. Alternate pick up/drop offs with partner. It’s really hard work and I’m exhausted, keep telling myself it’s not forever.
mornings I get myself ready first, then get DC up about 20 mins before we leave. Meals at nursery so no worries there, I pack their bag (and sorted formula when she was younger) and my own the night before so the morning runs smoothly. It’s a grind, but we do what we need to do to support them and ourselves, I love my Friday afternoons with her and the weekends too, though there is not much room for rest there! If I need to recharge I take annual leave on her nursery days so I can have some time to myself.