anxiety long haul work trip when you have kids

[longhaulworktrip]

Looking for some insight from others who do long haul or frequent work trips as a parent.

I have a work trip coming up soon which will mean me being away for a week. I have two children (3 & 7). It will be normal term time so they will be at their usual childcare & after school clubs. I usually do 80% of school runs, meals, laundry etc so have sorted additional family help for all of this so feel i'm pretty organised on the children front.
I've done a few work trips to Europe (2-3 days) and been okay, so I have been away from kids before, however they can be quite clingy to me.

However I'm now starting to feel a bit panicky/ anxious about the trip.

-Worried about the travel arrangements (long flight and 2-3 hour ground transport on either side). (I'm travelling solo but will know people at the event.)

-Stressing about what to pack/that i'll forget something important (it will be hot there/and different healthcare system etc)

-Worried about how jet lagged i'll be when i get back!! (I've tried to minimise the amount of time i'll be away so there's a lot of time zones in a short space of time)

-Worried i'll miss the kids too much and be stressing too much to enjoy the trip. (there's a big time difference so not sure will be able to facetime).

-Worried one of them will be ill whilst i'm away and the whole childcare set up and plans i've made will fall apart!

-Surprisingly not actually worried about the work/career aspect of it, although I don't really like networking type events, I will get on with it.

This is a really good opportunity and I want to enjoy it and actually should be looking forward to being on a long flight to watch movies and chill and to be able to have a meal and coffee on my own!!There may be future trips like this (maybe 1/year) so don't want everyone to be dreading them in the future. The location i'm going is amazing and it will be sunny so I SHOULD feel excited.

Just looking for advice and reassurance of how to just chill and enjoy it. I'm not sure if this is anxiety/mum guilt or what.

I am very hands on with my kids and usually put work on the back foot but need to take this career opportunity. I can't really elaborate too much to my husband about my stressing as he wasn't too keen about me going in the first place (he's supportive of my career but thought the long distance travel was not practical, given the additional ground travel either side).

Thanks for reading and grateful of any tips/advice.

I'd say stop trying to stifle your feelings of worry and just accept them. That is probably what's making things worse.

All of your worries are reasonable. Worrying is reasonable. So accept those feelings and still go.

See how you feel when you're on the trip. It might be a case of 'out of sight, out of mind' and you begin to relax a little once actually on the trip. Your worries won't disappear of course. But sometimes it's the anticipation and build up that's the worse part.

Thank you for this reply, makes sense!

Even writing out the post and listing the thoughts in my head has helped.

A few weeks ago i was worried about arranging all the childcare/school runs, but now this has been sorted my mind is now drifting to the aspects out of my control.

I did a lot of long haul travel when my kids were younger and definitely felt anxiety about it all in the beginning. I also didn't properly enjoy the amazing experiences for the first few times I did it, and I regret that now.

What helped me was being very organised - sounds like you have already done a lot to prepare OP, but to help with your fear about forgetting something, make a list and/or if you have space, leave your suitcase open in a room and put things in there as you think of them. I travel a lot and have a duplicate set of toiletries and makeup that I store in my suitcase, plus spare chargers, universal adapters etc.

Re coping with temperature changes, I have developed a sort of uniform made up of layers - aircon means that even if it's hot outside, I need an extra layer inside (and I am mostly inside!).

Finally - I found that Facetime unsettled my kids and made them a bit upset sometimes, which in turn left me a bit tearful, so I always kept it to a minimum. Everyone is different of course.

Edited to add, hope you have a really successful trip!

All your anxieties about this are reasonable and normal.

From experience of being apart from DD for work trips, and as it's only a week I would suggest it's better not to FaceTime at all. (I say this as a mum who is and always has been very very close and hands on with my DD.)

We were apart numerous times from age 4-10 and it was almost always upsetting for us both especially in the younger years. DD would cry and DH would have to end the call to comfort her and get her back on track and I'd be left worried and upset feeling really guilty.

She missed me but was fine until she saw me on FaceTime. I would seriously think if not FaceTiming at all and just asking DH and other carers to reassure mummy will be back on Saturday or whatever if they ask or get upset. And ask DH for text updates/reassurance all is well from home daily.

That way, DC will be less upset, you'll be less upset and distracted and you can focus on work and trying to enjoy the experience.

Have a look at the Timeshifter app to help with jetlag.

thank you for these tips.

Agree re facetime, we don't do it when i'm away for 2-3 days for the reasons you mention