Low level bullying dressed up as part of the job.

[Brandnewskytohangyourstarsupon]

There’s a manager of a department that I regularly have to interact with.

This manager, no matter what will find fault in some aspect of my work. I am honestly dumbfounded by the things they have come up with, it is relentless and things no one would even give a thought to but they find things.

Mostly very minor BUT blown up and escalated to my manager more often than not. The criticisms come via my manager.

Usually along the lines of “xxx has voiced concern about…”

The latest was something that I have zero control over, zero influence on but they have asked I put in place something urgently to mitigate the risk of this happening.

It’s been going on for a while, since I had to do a piece of work that needed their input. That has put me on their radar.

I know that it’s not just me & there have been complaints about this manger from others. All ignored as they hold a certain standing within the company.

Im sick to death of it. My manager doesn’t seem to be seeing any pattern, just duly delivers the concerns.

I am diligent, careful, very hard working. BUT perimenopause, so doubting everything. Confidence is low, insomnia and memory is an issue, so I’m struggling to cope with this pressure and stress brought on by this person while managing these symptoms.

Any advice?

Document everything, then grievances agaiinst this other manager AND your own manager for not protecting YOU.

I left a job like this as I couldn't take it any more. No advice really. It almost destroyed me.

First step is documenting everything.

Have you said to your manager that you feel the criticism is unfounded and a pattern of behaviour?

So yesterday came another “concern” via my manager.
I said nothing, just smiled and said ok.

It was the one that really made me think “not another thing!!”.

Because others have tried and not succeeded in bringing this to light, I am on a hiding to nowhere. Grievances, documenting will not do anything. This person is seemingly protected by HR. Even my manager who is a strong character is being swept along by it.

I can try to avoid them but this time the criticism has come from something I’m indirectly connected to yet it has come to my doorstep somehow.

It's a management style OP. It's a horrible, depressing culture. Set up to protect organisations not to improve or deliver a service. Its bringing services to a halt while we all mitigate and document everything to the enth degree in all the numerous places for inspection purposes while forgetting our core business. And if its not there it's your fault individually because you've been told. Sorry, just returned to work after a few days off.

Start doing it back to your manager and honestly look for another job. I had a manager like this and it never got any better, it slowly got worse. Once I left I felt so much better.

The reality is I will need to leave because it really is making me feel anxious and each day I go to work, anticipating criticism or the next thing.

It feels very overwhelming and very lonely.

I've experienced this at work - the person in question has now retired but my confidence and trust has been completely eroded.

I wish I'd left but 5 years on I feel so stuck that can barely apply for other jobs.

The whole department knew what this person was doing (and not just to me) and allowed it to happen.

Protect yourself and get out as soon as you can.