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Help me get my confidence back!

2 replies

runningpram · 24/10/2024 00:24

About 2.5 years ago I had an awful experience at work in my first senior level post, which I posted about here.

A new senior executive seemed to take a dislike to me for no apparent reason and then told my manager they didn’t like my work or want me to work for them any more

I was removed from a role that I excelled in and loved - although I eventually ended up retaining large parts of it (another story) and was placed in another position in the company for which I had very little prior experience, although some transferrable skills.

What shook me the most about this experience was that I had been given very little chance to prove myself or really do any work for the exec and I know with a little direction I would have done be well. I had been working in the same role v well up until their arrival.The work I had done took place in some really difficult chaotic circumstances. It was also my first biggish job and I felt I failed at it.

Fortunately, I have done very well in the new role and subsequently in the organisation. However I am still v upset about the exec experience. I found it quite humiliating and I’m convinced that everyone must think I’m not up to much.

I now can’t really go back into that area partly because I feel so shaken by everything that happened. (It later emerged a friend of the exec had been making manoeuvres behind the scenes for the role).

My current job now is relatively safe and decently paid but I am still v ambitious. I’ve seen a role working for another a company that would be challenging but great. A fresh start sounds great. However it is quite exposed and I am so worried something similar will happen again were I to be successful. A big if of course!

Whatever I decide about this job,I know I can’t let the belief that I’m an imposter who should be fired immediately stop me going forward but how can I get my confidence back?

It would be great to hear uplifting stories of Mnetters who turned similar situations around.

OP posts:
ButtercupBeans · 24/10/2024 04:29

Sorry for your horrible experience. Don't let it stop you.

You didn't fail - if someone just didn't seem to like you.

In may occasions some people may see your potential and be threatened by it - so don't like you and get rid of you to protect their own long-term position.

  1. Apply for the new job. You may get it and if you sadly don't, the whole experience of applying etc keeps you in job applying/interview practice and is a good thing to do.

and

  1. Are there any courses/qualifications you could do in the roles your interested in doing? If you could get these, you could also gain extra friends, contacts and the confidence you may need to not feel like an imposter.
GrandesRandonnees · 24/10/2024 07:12

I think I would reframe it that it would have happened to whoever was in that role - if someone else was angling for the job and this exec wanted them to have it there’s very little you could have done. It’s not personal, even though it very much feels like it is.

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