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Original poster

Long commute & full day of work with 1-yr-old - doable?

19 replies

MrsJamin · 24/04/2008 14:52

I'm just thinking through my options as I have a DS and am thinking through going back to my old job for 3 days a week when he's a year old. I have a 1 hour commute time and work 8.30-5. I would probably leave DS at a childminders near my work but it would mean leaving by 7.20am at the latest and getting back at 6.20pm - does this leave enough time for DS's dinner, a full night's sleep and breakfast?! I just don't think it does and I just can't see how it's going to work... any ideas?!

OP posts:

CristinaTheAstonishing · 24/04/2008 14:58

It will be tough for those 3 days...

UniS · 24/04/2008 21:12

ask if the CM or nursery can give him lunch and dinner- and maybe breakfast too. try and get him into the habit of a good long day time nap and have this continued in childcare.

Habbibu · 24/04/2008 21:15

Does your partner work nearer home? DD goes to nursery with her dad, and he gives her her dinner - I'm home in time for bath...

HonoriaGlossop · 24/04/2008 21:50

Yes I think if the childminder can feed on those days it will be much much easier...you can concentrate on bath or play/storytime when you pick up and he will be earlier to bed if you don't have to worry about doing/eating dinner too.

I think many childminders are happy to provide food. I guess you pay extra?!

MascaraOHara · 24/04/2008 21:51

my dd used to have all 3 meals at her nursery. it worked ok. the main thing for me was only seeing her for ~2hrs per day during the week

lilyfire · 25/04/2008 20:33

I did this - over an hour's commute and working 3 days a week, although didn't start as early. Definitely get CM to do all three meals, as I couldn't have done breakfast and get ready and be out at right time. I was knackered, but worked one day on and one off, so at least knew would be a bit more relaxed the next day. It was tiring, but do-able.

mazzystar · 25/04/2008 20:37

can you leave ds at childminders nearer your home - spare him the commute [on which journety he is likely to fall asleep]

obviously it means you are further away in an emergency [heaven fvrbid] but it may be more convenient, especially if you are able to negotiate working from home on occasion.

or maybe there is flexibility with your hours and you cvuld start earlier and finish earlier letting your partner deal with mornings, or vice versa?

allgonebellyup · 25/04/2008 20:38

i think 3 days would be do-able, but prob not 5 days!

Original poster

MrsJamin · 25/04/2008 21:02

Thanks all so much for your advice. I wanted DS near me as to pay a childminder where I live would be 2 hours extra pay per day without me being paid anymore - it just wouldn't add up financially.

DH works even further away with an even longer day (7.30am-7.30pm) so that doesn't work either.

Yes DS could be given meals by the childminder but I'm just working out that he wouldn't see his parents for 3 whole days out of a week (except about an hour + commuting time) - it's just not fair on the lad or us .

I don't like my job that much!!! This needs a rethink...!!

OP posts:

elkiedee · 26/04/2008 01:07

I understand what you're saying about seeing your baby and about the money - I've gone back full time and am sad about only seeing DS (almost 1) briefly morning and evening.

Many CMs have a daily rate not just an hourly one though.

Flibbertyjibbet · 26/04/2008 01:16

If you get cm near work - what if you change jobs/get made redundant etc.
We still use the nursery days even if we have a day's leave sometimes to get things done and keep child in routine.
If you are off work sick you might be able to drag yourself out to take the child to cm if local. If not then you are ill at home with a child to look after, not good.
A local childminder can still be your childminder when ds starts school if she does school runs, and chances are some of the other mindees will go to the same school so he will have friends there when he starts school.
If you commute with him he will fall asleep everynight on the way home and be a nightmare when you get him home and he wakes up having slept for an hour and won't go to bed!
Also if you use a local nursery/cm your dh can drop ds off in the mornings as he seems to leave later than you are planning to.

We've always used local nursery to home so it doesn't matter when we change job. I was part of a mass redundancy 12 months ago. My colleague lived 15 miles from work and used a nursery near work. Having to find another nursery near home (they were all full) just added to her stress at a very difficult time.

roquefort · 26/04/2008 01:48

I did this when my son was young but with nursery near home (agree with FJ's comments - might also allow you to work from home sometimes?). Doable for three days especially if you could get your DH to do the drop off. Do you have a choice about which days - ime the pattern can make a big difference.

MrsBadger · 26/04/2008 07:48

I don't work quite such a long day (8.30-4.30) but do 5 days. We leave the hosue at 7.30 and get back at 5.30pm - nursery do tea and dd just has milk before bed so we spend the evening playing rather than spooning / eating / wiping etc.
It is a bit sad how little time we get but you can make the very most of the journey, chatting about your day, singing etc - dd rarely sleeps through it.

You do have to be mega-organised to get out of the house though (or cut corners - I eat my toast while driving and put on makeup in the carpark at work)

Original poster

MrsJamin · 26/04/2008 07:50

Thanks FJ & RF for your comments, I hadn't really thought through the different implications of having childcare near work rather than near home. I guess I thought about if something went wrong with DS I wouldn't like to drive for an hour to get back to him, but the other scenarios you talk about are a lot more likely to have to deal with. I've got to have a serious chat with DH! Thinking of going back to teaching/something based in a school so I can have more of a long-term strategy of having a term-time only school-hours job.

OP posts:

BirdyArms · 26/04/2008 07:58

I did similar hours out of the house but with a 30 min commute and a longer work day with ds1. It worked OK for us. He had all his meals at nursery. He had his morning milk in the car to save a bit of time. As he got older I really enjoyed the time in the car together and missed it when ds2 came along and we had a nanny at home. There are advantages and disadvantages of having childcare near work - if you have a long commute you do get to spend more time with him and nice to have them near if they are ill during the day etc. If you are ill it means that you have to take them a long way to the childminders and inevitably end up going into work rather than back to bed!

rookiemater · 26/04/2008 11:41

Have your work offered you 3 days a week ?

I ask because 3days seems to be the holy grail for p/t workers and I think you might struggle to get it offered somewhere else, so it could be worth pulling out all the stops to try to get this work in your current position.

Any chance you can negotiate on the hours as well as the days by reducing lunch break or cutting hours slightly ?

mazzystar · 26/04/2008 14:05

Just to say I agree with rookiemater here. If you like your job and it pays reasonably, I would see if you could manage to do 2.5 days over 3 or a half day from home. And in the first instance at least, go back and give it a try. It may work out just fine, but if not you can always leave. Its a lot easier to find a job when you are in one, in my experience.

Judy1234 · 26/04/2008 20:31

Then longest I did with a baby was leaving about 8am and getting home around 6.30pm with a one hour commute both ways but with their father often getting home at 6 before me. you need to look to the future too. I am in year 23 as a mother and paying for 3 at university. That would not be possbile had I not kept up my work whilst they were small but that depends on the job you are in. Also for many men and women they need work for their sanity and children thrive in child care so it's win win all round.

onepieceoflollipop · 26/04/2008 20:37

I think rookiemater makes a fair point. I managed to get 5 days spread over 2 weeks (exactly half time)but I am fairly certain that had I taken a longer career break and tried to get these hours from scratch (and at the same grade) - no chance.

As Xenia says you need to look to the future. I may have been able to afford taking a few extra months off...but then would potentially have needed to work 4 or even 5 days on a lower grade.

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