Accused of bullying

[MayWelland]

Anyone ever been unfairly accused of bullying at work?

I’ve just had a complaint made against me. It’s a difficult situation, where the person who has accused me is under-performing and there have been long-standing issues.

I am confident that it’s just a reaction to the performance management I have in place, but I’ve been totally floored by this accusation. I’ve given so much support and been so careful. I’ve thought long and hard about all my interactions with this woman and I can’t see that I’ve done anything wrong, but I’m aware of how that sounds, like I don’t want to take responsibility for things I’ve done wrong.

But this has been vexatious and has destroyed my confidence in line management. Not sure how long this will take to resolve but wondered if anyone else had gone through something similar?

Sorry to hear you are going through this.

Unfortunately this is tactic sometimes undertaken by under performers in order to paint themselves as victims.

Moving forwards, I would not have any meetings/discussions with her regarding her performance without suitable witnesses (e.g. your line manager, HR rep). Speak to them in advance to explain why this is necessary.

Document EVERYTHING - basically cover your back.

Hello,

Afraid so yes, was for a member of my team who I and the rest of the management team had bent over backwards to help, completed a number of flexible working requests, made lots of little tweaks to assist them in their role etc only to have a accusation of bullying raised against me when I dare mention poor timekeeping.

Very much opened my eyes yo them as a person, thankfully it was found as no case to answer but it certainly left a bitter taste.

Thanks @1223456help and @BrightYellowStar, this is helpful.

@1223456help when it happened to you, how did you manage to recover the relationship? I assume not at all?

Obvs I have to remain professional and alert but I can’t imagine being in a place where I can have a positive, healthy work relationship with her after this

Yes I have. Google upwards bullying. It has made me ill despite the case being closed as nothing to answer. It went on a long time and involved several people in my case. Awful. I hope you have supportive management. Like you I'm struggling to get past it with the people concerned.

Going through this at the moment. Similar situation to yours except that the complainant has failed their probation and been let go and has complained about our manager and me as well. I am not a manager, just the poor sod who has spent the past 6 months trying to teach them the job.

Luckily everything is documented and I have the full email trails to show I remained professional and friendly despite intense provocation, but I'm facing a formal meeting this week to explain myself. My manager is in bits and I've been able to think about nothing else since it started. I know HR have to be seen to be fair but surely they recognise a malicious complaint with zero evidence and can stop it before it starts?

It's hard but too be fair to the whole team I make sure that any issues are addressed etc, I make sure too document all conversation, I was very (still am) to have such a supportive line manager.

It is hard but I feel it comes with the territory

Thanks everyone. I’ve just never been in this situation before. If anything, my management style has often veered towards too-permissive so this is new territory for me. It doesn’t feel nice

@MayWelland as pp have said this is a common tactic from people who are under performing.

Please do not underestimate how it can affect you even though you are following correct procedures and doing nothing wrong. Be prepared to find senior manager’s may be reluctant to see performance management through to its conclusion.

If your employer has an EAP (Employee Assistance Programme) they may offer support to you as a manager. I would also consider finding a mentor/trusted friend who you can talk to as a debrief/ counselling/listening ear.

I suggest you also check with both HR and your manager that they will support you as you take forward the performance management process. Get it in writing.

Good luck.

It is a normal tactic for underperformers.
write down a timeline of all the support, training, feedback given.
gather all the evidence of why you are performance management.

if you wanted to, after you are cleared you could do the same to her, but with a bit of luck she will resign first.

Hi OP

I'm going through this exact situation at the moment. The team member has now gone off sick so it will be hanging over me until she decides to come back.

I've spent the last year trying various methods to support her, agreed flexible working, a very heavily reduced workload, exceptions for sickness and lots more.

The day I started the formal capability process with her she raised a grievance against me. I won't know what she is alleging until she returns and the investigation can start.

It's affected me quite badly and I've had to take a couple of days off this week to process it which is very unlike me. My boss is also upset about it. I have 20+ years line management experience but genuinely don't know how I feel about managing underperformance going forward after this.

Thinking of you and I hope it all works out. Just remember to make time for yourself throughout the process and use any support that is available to you.

This is a tactic to avoid responsibility for her own shortcomings.
Managers are always easy targets.
If you've followed processes and thre is no evidence of bullying you will be fine.
It happened to me once with a particularly nasty staff member who took grievances out against all of his managers.
I told him his performance needed to improve so he accused me of bullying. Fortunately I had recorded the teams call with his permission.
It never even got to investigation as was ruled out at Fact Finding once recording was listened to.
It was very stressful though so I feel for you.
Trust in the process and all will work out.
Hopefully you have a supportive Line Manager.