Feeling guilty for working with kids

[carrie1987]

My new job is really stressful and time consuming, but I worked hard to get here and I thought it was what I wanted. I come home with a shorter fuse and I’m exhausted half the time.

i feel guilty because my kids are spending so much time in wrap around care then they come home and I have little patience for them.

The house work doesn’t all get done much either.

In my previous jobs I worked full time but I picked them up earlier and I had more patience and energy but the pay was bad. My other half had always worked longer hours and made the money so I’m not expecting him to suddenly change his routine.

I’m worried I’ve made a mistake. I’m considering quitting and taking something low stakes again. My kids won’t always be little though. I want to have Career and success but I always want my kids to feel loved and want my house to be in a decent state.

In your experience, I’d it worth it? Will my kids understand in the long run?

Maybe I should just quit and do supply or tutor. I’m a qualified teacher.

I’d change and have more time with your Kids. Like you say, they aren’t little for long. And having a clean/tidy home always makes me feel better.

When I was a single parent my children had lots of wrap around/holiday care . It was out of necessity. They are adults now and don’t really remember it abd it certainly didn’t have a negative effect . Try not to worry and enjoy your new job . If you can afford it get a cleaner so you can spend any spare time with the children .

How new is new? And is it a teaching job?

I think all new jobs can be stressful until you find your feet. I'd give it a chance, examine what you're doing and how you can put some boundaries in that help manage your work life balance eg sticking to working hours, managing expectations as to the amount of work you do, If it's not possible (teaching....) then I'd consider changing roles.

Coming home with a short fuse and exhausted is a separate thing to having a full-on job. The two don't have to go together.

I love my job (I'm an assistant headteacher in a big secondary school). I wouldn't describe it as unhealthily stressful, but is definitely time consuming. I don't come home too exhausted for my children or with a short fuse though.

Mine are a bit older now tho (youngest is 10). Also DH job, while senior, is mostly WHF and has flexibility. So it means he can do school runs, remember PE kits in the morning, put dinner on etc. I think this is the thing that makes the difference at home - its not all on me (in fact it's mostly on DH).

If you’re working as a teacher, you’re probably getting more money. Get a cleaner for two hours a week you’ll come home to a fresh house and have more energy for your children.