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DH career change

53 replies

purplemush · 16/10/2024 07:53

DH is a builder with own small company. He works incredibly hard. Day and evening doing the actual work, admin, quoting , sourcing materials, paying suppliers, managing customers, managing the project, managing the guys who work for him etc. he has worked with a huge range from door hanging, bespoke furniture, kitchens replacement to main contractor on 8 new build houses. I'd say the admin isn't his strong point, takes him longer than it would take me.

I am sick of it. He works so so much and is a strain where it affects me. He had a customer text him at 3 am last week about windows in her extension! Been like this for years but since he has gone limited it has got worse. Takes up all his time, v.stressed. I honestly don't know anyone with a stronger work ethic and the last 12 months I have realised he has taken home 18k! Whilst his subcontractors getting 40k for turning up and going home.

I am at my wits end, and it's destroying DH soul although he keeps going (I don't know how). Obviously this is impacting us financially as I am picking up all the Financial burden and has heavily impacted my own finances now.

So question: he is 35.. he needs to change his career somehow but building is all he knows really. His work ethic is so strong I'm just thinking there has to be something for him out there that isn't this!

Any ideas where he can utilise his skills and have a better work life balance and at least some money in his pocket? We can't go on like this. I'm thinking rail network infrastructure, project management, new build projects for someone else? He has never interviewed in his life.

I honestly believe if he got a position somewhere he would work so hard to ensure he gets the best outcome but he just needs the chance.

OP posts:
baketray · 16/10/2024 08:01

or he could just work on building better boundaries?

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:02

i think with zero employment history and only his own word for how good he is… he will have to start as a labourer

Livinghappy · 16/10/2024 08:03

He can certainly make money working as a sole builder so not sure why his income is so low, unless his accountant has been imaginative! The other factor is he is pricing his work too cheaply. Where are you based as builders in the SE have had a boom and never poorly paid

He could also move into a larger company and take on PM work or site manager. He would need training and get his "cards" so that's something to consider as there is a cost. Major companies will insist on H&S practices so it be a change for him. That said, there is such a major shortage that he will be helped in the right company.

A text at 3am doesn't need to be answered, get a separate work phone or switch DND on.

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:03

in his many years working, surely he has built up a network of contacts he could approach?

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:04

that is a laughable salary if you’re sure he’s working as hard as you say

all these quotes… do they come to anything?

stanleypops66 · 16/10/2024 08:15

Join a building firm or perhaps a building/ facilities manager. I know someone who was a joiner by trade and works as a facilities manager for a big bank. Regular hours and pay.

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:17

stanleypops66 · 16/10/2024 08:15

Join a building firm or perhaps a building/ facilities manager. I know someone who was a joiner by trade and works as a facilities manager for a big bank. Regular hours and pay.

why on earth would someone who has never been employed by anyone, never managed anyone and his business is only earning him £18k a year… be employed as a facilities manager? 🫤

TiramisuThief · 16/10/2024 08:18

He needs to charge more. There's no way a good builder should only be earning £18k.

Doingmybest12 · 16/10/2024 08:21

He needs to just generate enough work for himself and maybe one other to help him rather than finding and organising work for a team. He should be able to make a good living if he's good at what he does.

Indianajet · 16/10/2024 08:27

What is his actual trade? My son started as a bricklayer and is now a site manager for a company - good work/life balance and much better pay than your husband.

whirlyhead · 16/10/2024 08:27

What is he doing wrong?? He should be earning a fortune! My current laid back builder just manages himself and one other person and they charge about £14k a month plus vat just for their work and that’s cheap for my area! Materials are extra.

I do not understand how he can be earning so little. He needs to look at how he is structuring his business and maybe he’s undercharging.

ThatCalmHelper · 16/10/2024 08:37

purplemush · 16/10/2024 07:53

DH is a builder with own small company. He works incredibly hard. Day and evening doing the actual work, admin, quoting , sourcing materials, paying suppliers, managing customers, managing the project, managing the guys who work for him etc. he has worked with a huge range from door hanging, bespoke furniture, kitchens replacement to main contractor on 8 new build houses. I'd say the admin isn't his strong point, takes him longer than it would take me.

I am sick of it. He works so so much and is a strain where it affects me. He had a customer text him at 3 am last week about windows in her extension! Been like this for years but since he has gone limited it has got worse. Takes up all his time, v.stressed. I honestly don't know anyone with a stronger work ethic and the last 12 months I have realised he has taken home 18k! Whilst his subcontractors getting 40k for turning up and going home.

I am at my wits end, and it's destroying DH soul although he keeps going (I don't know how). Obviously this is impacting us financially as I am picking up all the Financial burden and has heavily impacted my own finances now.

So question: he is 35.. he needs to change his career somehow but building is all he knows really. His work ethic is so strong I'm just thinking there has to be something for him out there that isn't this!

Any ideas where he can utilise his skills and have a better work life balance and at least some money in his pocket? We can't go on like this. I'm thinking rail network infrastructure, project management, new build projects for someone else? He has never interviewed in his life.

I honestly believe if he got a position somewhere he would work so hard to ensure he gets the best outcome but he just needs the chance.

I'm a self employed electrician, and pretty much full time carer, I work 5 hours a day, three days a week to fit round caring - took home more than your husband last year.

He must be doing something badly wrong in terms of his quoting etc to make what he does, should be a lot more.

If you are an office type, could you take over some of the business end of things, make it a family affair and maximise profits.

Does he do his own accounts? if so is he doing his deductions? is he keeping his receipts?, I knew a plumber who for years just added up the totals of his invoices out and submitted that for self assessment without realising you deduct a lot of expenses!

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:39

i doubt the op will be back 🤷

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:41

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:01

or he could just work on building better boundaries?

Boundries aren't the problem. It's the amount of time and not making any money!

OP posts:
purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:42

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:02

i think with zero employment history and only his own word for how good he is… he will have to start as a labourer

Did you not read my post? He has people working for him.

OP posts:
baketray · 16/10/2024 08:43

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:42

Did you not read my post? He has people working for him.

bloody hell

if he’s earning £18k

what the heck are they earning

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:44

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:41

Boundries aren't the problem. It's the amount of time and not making any money!

lack of boundaries and amount of time spent are linked

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:44

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:03

in his many years working, surely he has built up a network of contacts he could approach?

He has work, that isn't the problem. It's the time ontop of his day job with the added factor of earning half of what he has paid his workers.

OP posts:
baketray · 16/10/2024 08:45

his sub contractors

he has sub contractors and he’s earning £18k a year??!

ThatCalmHelper · 16/10/2024 08:45

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:42

Did you not read my post? He has people working for him.

Problem is HE has no employment history, only as a self employed builder, if he is a Ltd. company he can at least say he's been a director.

He would likely get a job as a school caretaker, they look for people with a multi trade ability to tackle all the minor jobs that come in.

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:46

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:44

He has work, that isn't the problem. It's the time ontop of his day job with the added factor of earning half of what he has paid his workers.

He really shouldn’t be self employed

he should see if he can work for any of his more financially savvy sub contractors

baketray · 16/10/2024 08:46

ThatCalmHelper · 16/10/2024 08:45

Problem is HE has no employment history, only as a self employed builder, if he is a Ltd. company he can at least say he's been a director.

He would likely get a job as a school caretaker, they look for people with a multi trade ability to tackle all the minor jobs that come in.

good idea but they won’t like fact no employment history and references

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:46

Livinghappy · 16/10/2024 08:03

He can certainly make money working as a sole builder so not sure why his income is so low, unless his accountant has been imaginative! The other factor is he is pricing his work too cheaply. Where are you based as builders in the SE have had a boom and never poorly paid

He could also move into a larger company and take on PM work or site manager. He would need training and get his "cards" so that's something to consider as there is a cost. Major companies will insist on H&S practices so it be a change for him. That said, there is such a major shortage that he will be helped in the right company.

A text at 3am doesn't need to be answered, get a separate work phone or switch DND on.

I was thinking site manager also so he can be dedicated to delivery rather than managing every single aspect of the company badly. He is spread far to thin

OP posts:
baketray · 16/10/2024 08:47

purplemush · 16/10/2024 08:46

I was thinking site manager also so he can be dedicated to delivery rather than managing every single aspect of the company badly. He is spread far to thin

be realistic Op

he is not going to be employed as a site manager with no employment history and no references

rwalker · 16/10/2024 08:49

Scale the business down he could just do one man jobs easy earn 18k plus doing that