Not coping at work

[comewhinewith]

I have loads of health problems that I've been trying to manage for years, but don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Coupled with the perimenopause, im physically exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get.

I also have lots of stress outside work that I'm only just managing to keep under control.

I'm also starting to think I may be neurodivergent - which would explain a lot, I've started to wonder if I'm experiencing autistic burnout as I tick all the boxes .

Because of all this I'm really struggling at work. I don't want to be there, I can't cope with the pressure, despite it looking like a good, stable supportive place on paper.

I think my options are:

• get another job (I don't think this will solve the problem as it's a "me" problem for the most part)
• resign (I can't afford to do this)
• reduce my hours (not ideal but maybe my only option)

Can anyone offer any advice please?

First how are you tackling these menopause symptoms ?

Can you try HRT ?

Speak to your GP about the menopause,

Do you think you have always been neurodivergent, or are the symptoms for those things new? If new, they might be related to the menopause and hormones alone. A GP could always get the ball rolling for an assessment if wanted, but I believe it can take years in some areas.

Speak to HR and ask for an occupational health referral. Are there any adjustments that could be done now to help? Starting earlier or later to avoid the rush hour, WFH more days, sitting somewhere quieter in the office?

I have loads of health problems that I've been trying to manage for years, but don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Coupled with the perimenopause, im physically exhausted, no matter how much sleep I get.

This is really the bit you need to look at fixing as it's not actually work that's the problem, you're struggling because of poorly managed health problems. Go back to your GP and look at getting the appropriate help and treatment.

I'd also look at getting an occupational health referral to look at reasonable adjustments at work which may help, that may include a reduction in hours.

Do you manage to exercise? It seems counter-intuitive when you're tired, but a daily 10-20 minute walk outside might help with the tiredness and feeling stressed. I'm AUDHD with chronic fatigue and I'm menopausal and I really notice if I don't get out into daylight for at least a short time each day. I can't take HRT due to previous breast cancer and because HRT caused/triggered a very aggressive breast cancer in my younger sister.

Try to get a blood test and health check ASAP to check that you're not deficient in any nutrients or that something else is going on, such as thyroid or other problems.

I'd second seeing OH at your work if there is one and maybe ask for a temporary reduction in your working hours, until you get some medical investigations and hopefully find out what is making you so tired.

Also, does your work offer free counselling? If your medical checks are clear, it might be worth discussing your situation with a counsellor, to get some ideas about relaxation and/or stress management strategies.

Thanks all

I'm on HRT. It helped slightly at first, but isn't making much difference now. They won't increase my dose as I have a medical condition which could be made worse by increased dose (told this by the menopause specialist).

My health issues are long-standing. I've been trying to get them under control for years, specialists/consultants have all-but given up, I've done my own research on both mainstream and alternative treatments, tried everything and got nowhere. I'm so fed up and frustrated - currently on the last treatment available (only one I've not tried). So I am trying.

The perimenopause has made all my joint problems worse. (Again) long-standing issues where not much can be done, exercise is limited but to be honest I can hardly get out of bed in the morning. I've tried taking muscle-relaxers to help me sleep/move in the mornings, but they've had a negative impact on other areas. I've tried Pilates for a while but had to give it up because my joint issues deteriorated to the point that I was even less able to move than when I started!

Been to physio & orthopaedic where nothing we've tried has worked. They basically said I had to live with it.

I am a very proactive person and have researched and tried so much, but got nowhere - it's really getting me down.

Also, I've been seeing a counsellor for unrelated reasons and discussed work issues (not just the "me" side, there's been other things going on) which has been helpful. But we're currently having a break.

The neurodivergence is something I'm recognising both now and looking back. I'm not sure my GP would believe me as I've always given the impression that I have everything together - it's just now I'm unravelling.

Exercise would be great - I know it would. At the moment time & energy are against me, but I keep meaning to find time. I find I'm spending my whole life trying to keep up with work, sorting things for my children (one with SEN) and supporting them. My OH is great, but we're both spread so thinly at the moment.

Op I'm sorry I have no advice but you are not alone. I can relate to this so much.
I have mobility problems and am in constant pain. That then drags my mental health down as I just want to be at home where I can go at my own pace but have to work due to finances.
I also find that I make mistakes easily, I'm peri menopause age and definitely feel like I'm not as sharp. I've changed jobs a few times and still fins myself feeling overwhelmed and if I make a mistake I want to leave immediately. I cannot possibly comprehend how I could work for another 25 years, I can't even imagine 5 years. My only answer at the moment is a lottery win alternatively I'll end up in an early grave

I'm so sorry @Rubbishateverything59363 that's is exactly how I feel. Solidarity.