Ok. I literally can't work for someone else any more. But how can I make it happen?

[SunsetSkylane]

I'm a Head of Marketing. I simply absolutely cannot work for someone else any more.

The older I get the harder I find it. I've currently got at least a decade more experience than my current (very nice) MD; the only difference between us is that he comes from enough money to set up a business and I don't.

I have this constant feeling that the time is now to try setting up on my own, or the window will pass (I'm 45).

But, how the hell do I get started? How do I begin to look for my own clients when I already work 50+ hours a week? We don't have spare cash to fund me quitting.

Does anyone have any advice? Please?

You just have to take the plunge. I went self employed a few years ago. I couldn't source clients whilst still employed so took a massive risk and gave my notice. By the end of my 2 month notice period I'd secured several months work and never looked back. I wrote to companies I was interested in working with, joined a few professional SM groups, got my name/availability out there. During my notice I registered self employed and sorted out my professional insurances etc. Now I have several regular clients and often have to turn work down. I love the autonomy and no longer have that wage slave feeling. I was older than you when I started so it's never too late.

But...what if we end up not being able to pay the mortgage?! It's such a risk!

You need a plan, build up a cushion. Research, network, and get prepared. It's a risk, yes, but you can mitigate them.

Yeah I just need to start somewhere. It's tough as I've got a 3.5 hour commute right now but...there's no other way. Apart from a lottery win.

Maybe change jobs as a first step? That commute would kill me! No wonder you're fed up.

That is the new job unfortunately...I accepted the role when they had a local office and by the time I'd started they'd closed it.

One winter is going to kill me (possibly literally looking at the driving around me every day).

Do you have any savings? You need a safety net while you build up your business, so if you haven't got any, then focus on doing this over the next 6 months or so.

Do you think any of your current or previous clients would give you work? (Legal contractual issues to one side, obviously!).

Where is your business going to come from, and how much revenue/profit do you need to be financially secure?

Have you written yourself a business plan? If not, then that's where you need to start. Once you've done that, then you need to write a marketing plan, so you know how you're going to make that business - but that should be easy for you

Ok, I'm here from the other side:

I am self employed (a freelancer with lots of v short term contracts, that's the nature of my industry) and I did it because I have children and no employment is flexible enough in my line of work.

In some ways it's amazing. I also feel like I could never work for anyone else again. The control, independence, being able to cherry pick (to an extent) what you work on are all great. As is the flexibility around school runs, swimming lessons, clubs, kids randomly off sick etc.

However - and this is really important - it comes at other costs. Working from home all the time makes me quite miserable because there is no demarcation between work and life. I'm often quite lonely and miss a lot about having colleagues to share ideas and projects with.

The most important negative factor is the pay: although hour by hour I earn more, all the hustle for new work is unpaid and chasing invoices takes HOURS of my time. I'm currently awaiting £6k in invoiced work and make my half of the mortgage payment this month (DH had to pay it all and we earn about the same).

Saving for tax is a mental burden too. Plus you have to pay "on account" so when you first go freelance you have to pay 18 months of tax upfront - it's rough financially.

Are you sure you want all this? Maybe you do. But maybe it would be easier for you to A) look for a new job and B) in the interim ask to wfh more often because you were misled about the commute.

FWIW I'm planning to try to find a full time job again once both kids are in school but am now concerned I've got no chance due to being independent for so long.

I'm also early 40s now.

I’m following as I’m being made redundant. I’d love to work for myself but I don’t even know what services I could provide. I started off in marketing and ended up in technical administration! 😭 lost my skillset.

Thanks for the view from the other side @LostittoBostik

It's tough to decide. I sort of feel at the end of my road with working for other people, I'm sick of enriching the already rich.

A few weeks ago my husband had to have emergency surgery, and while the MD was fab about being flexible, it really stuck in my throat how bloody grateful I was supposed to be. Like, I'm 45, and I have to beg and scrape to another 45 year old who happens to have been born into money, to take time to look after my own family?

Feels a bit like the final straw really.

I've been both sides and I say there's a time for both. I was properly employed when I needed a mortgage etc, but have enjoyed being more flexible this year after building up a side hustle that I took full(ish) time. It's a lot of marketing yourself unless you've got an amazing network. If you're in London, I run free networking events for women in digital, or you could come and join us over in Mums In Marketing? Lots of support around, so you don't have to go it alone

Oh I'm very far from London unfortunately! What's mums in marketing pls?

Just a word of warning.

If you need to take time to look after your family and cannot meet customers' deadlines, they will have to find an alternative supplier - and sometimes won't come back.

I speak from experience.

sort of feel at the end of my road with working for other people

Will it be so very different working for clients, than working within a management structure ? I've done both sides, and am now very happy to put up with the lesser parts of corporate life for the steady income and benefits which include health insurance, sick pay, paid parental leave.

It's not glamorous but it pays the bills. Don't get me wrong. I love my real work and just put up with around ten or twenty percent which is good enough odds got me.

I'd encourage you to start with a fully costed business plan, covering what business you will need to bring and and how you will do that (and how cover your costs while doing it)

Give yourself an idea of what level of business you will need to generate initially, and then quarterly, annually. Think quite honestly about how good you are at all the other parts of business, other than marketing.

Selling, actually getting the business not just one off but continuing, finance, it etc.

What is your competitive advantage and how do your protect it from others, to ensure you can maintain your competitive advantage over your competitors.

What are your risks and how do you mitigate them. What happens if you loose a few clients, or do not generate repeat business. I'll health, your DC, DH or yourself.

It's not popular to say out loud, but corporate life can be quite comfortable and well rewarded.

Yeah I get that @Chersfrozenface and I do need to consider that properly. I sort of think if I was handling my own clients and workload I'd resent it less; it's the having to ask that's bothering me, when I'm the most experienced person in the entire business.

Maybe it's more that this job has absolutely fucked my work-life balance. Working in a city 100 miles from home makes everything hard; I can't just nip to the dentist, for example, getting to my hairdresser is a 90 minute which knuckle ride, if the kids are sick and need picked up from school, I'm out, for example.

A lot to think about guys, thank you for all the advice so far.

My dad gave me some very good advice when I first went freelance. "You'll be the worst boss you've ever had!" And he was right. The commitment to the work/your clients never stops, and you find it very hard to say 'no' - you never know when the next piece of work is coming in.

And don't forget, if you ever face another medical emergency (or any other kind) in the family, there will be no-one else to help out.

So with that in mind, have you considered setting up a business with a partner? I've done both - worked on my own and worked with a partner, and the latter is definitely easier to deal with, as there's always someone to watch your back.

Do you have a Chamber of Commerce near you? They may run start up courses or have advisors that may be able to help you get your head around it.

I did a Start Up Accelerator with mine earlier this year and it was great at seeing different angles of it. Part of it was discussing risks and how to mitigate them, a common example being reducing hours on employment side if possible while building up the business side.

I would love a business partner, and I know exactly who I want to do it with, but they're much more attracted to the stable employee life really, and will probably never make the leap.

It's a shame because they have the skills I don't, and we make an excellent team.

Thanks @RamblingEclectic I'll have a look - I have used our local CofC before when I've been head of a small business but yes, worth looking into for my own research now.

If you do decide to go it alone, I can highly recommend that you read

There are two essential things you need - time and money. If you don't think you have enough of one or the other it would be a big risk. Can you look for work nearer home?

I am the same age as you. Everyone (both in my field and outside it) told me it would take 2 years to be fully scheduled as a freelancer. I hoped to cut some time off that as I had all the clients already (left previous employer on very good terms and also worked for them). However, it took exactly two years to be fully scheduled, and six years to surpass previous salary (though I work a lot more flexibly than I used to and do slightly fewer hours).
I would suggest taking some sick leave for mental health if possible and perhaps talking to a therapist about what makes you feel that you cannot work for someone else. Perhaps you are right to feel this way and it is objectively awful and irredeemable, or perhaps there is another way to see it.
Can you do anything else such as extending the mortgage term to give more flexibility or hiring more help to improve work-life balance.

Shame, but MiMs is a wonderful supportive group, there's a free Facebook group or a paid membership, lots of help around marketing jobs, going freelance, job and contract opportunities, etc

Thank you, I'll have a look at that.

Self-employed and following for the tips!