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How to handle this

6 replies

Vibing · 12/10/2024 12:14

Ive been getting bullied at work. Constant needling, suttle things but undermining and waring. Management aware.

They gave me option to take it further. I initially said no. Then said id like to take a mediation with me and one particular person. They came back and said they were going to rehaul the team - bring in people to cover team dynamics, team processes etc. So the mediation offer was off the table.

The team stuff is a slow process. Hard to get people together.
In this time the needling ramps up and wanes. I think its one persons coping strategy when very stressed. Its ramping up again. She is close to couple other team members a bit of a click. So when shes stressed, they also then needle.

Its like....a them and us attitude. And im the thing they come together on. Its not fun.

My annual leaves, expenses get haggled over, always in group forum. Im not unreasonable - if ive booked days and theyre not available
..a quick word to say sorry i cant authorise them. Lets look when u can take them.

Anyway one of the things is, we have a group text. It was whstsapp but withdrew from it following messages that were suttly unkind.

The text group is useful but the suttly unkind messages happen. This particular person is stressed again and the odd message is being put on.

Id quite like to message back and say f@ off. I dont and i dont respond. Another colleagur will genrrally respond something in my defense.

Im tired of it. It makes me feel like im doing something wrong and not allowed to know what that is.

I thought the next time one of these messages comes up. Id privately message her to say something like

Im unsure of your intentions with this message. If its supportive, thank you but if you feel there is an issue with any aspect of my work, im happy to discuss it with a 3rd person mediating.

Im just not sure of the tone to take.

In the early days, i called her out twice. Asked her to stop emailing out to the group when she wanted to speak about my annual leave requests or expenses and come to me direct.

she didnt and doesnt.

The bad thing is she puts things in writing. The good thing is she puts things in writing. So i have evidence right from the beginning. Including whatssapp messages

My main thing at the minute is the text group. Any advice on how to handle comments coming through on text group.

OP posts:
saypleasepls · 12/10/2024 12:25

i have to say… i’m not completely clear what’s really been going on op

saypleasepls · 12/10/2024 12:28

and i’m not being an arse

but it is “subtle” (i am only raising in case you write this word on a work matter)

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 12/10/2024 12:28

Sounds horrible you need to go back to management!

Vibing · 12/10/2024 12:38

@saypleasepls appreciate the heads up :)

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 12/10/2024 12:42

Take screenshots of everything all the way back and then just slide out of the conversation without announcing anything. Then take screenshots any time you see anything eventuate in the chat and send the screenshots to HR.

RechargeableGnu · 12/10/2024 23:07

Personally I'd remove myself from the text group / block her.

Don't message her at all.

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