Why is it so hard??

[Miss2820]

Hi everyone

feeling quite down and having very bad anxiety I’m currently looking for a new job where I am now just isn’t working for me! I’m literally applying every single day and nothing?.. I fully understand I’m not the only one in this situation but now it’s just causing arguments at home with my husband just keep getting told I need to earn a certain amount etc n I just lost it like I’m applying say something to me because I’m just sitting around doing nothing..I’ve just recently gone bk to work full time since having kids just don’t know what else to do ??

thank you x

It can't be easy with your husband saying you need to earn a certain amount ... tell him to get a promotion ! As your partner he should be supportive and not putting so much emphasis on an amount, try find a job that you'll be happy in that's what will make you feel better.

Keep trying with the job hunt- I'm sure something is going to come up.. don't put too much pressure on yourself, good things come in good time xx

It isn’t easy at the moment. Please don’t take it to heart.

(Experienced job seeker 20 years nearly with no children) it is both heart breaking and savage. People often want to have a pop at 40 and barely paid 23k for civil service work and as that is what our brits are proud off.

It’s tough out there unless you are highly skilled in particular industries, there’s been a lot of layoffs and the economy is uncertain. Get your cv thoroughly reviewed, tailored to every application plus cover letter - use ChatGPT carefully with a lot of editing. i got a lot more success with an improved CV.

At interview, be the best version of you, don’t pretend to be someone else. You don’t want another job that’s a bad fit. If you need promotion there’s loads of courses online for free.

Your husband needs to be patient as it’s just a tough time. Recruiting can just take a few months, from advertising a role to offer.

Second the chatgpt suggestion.

Your husband needs to stfu he's not helping

Sorry to use the Mumsnet cliché, but you have a DH problem..

thanks everyone for your replies!

it is hard for sure! I can only keep applying and hope for the best! I will definitely get someone to have a look at my CV incase things need changing fingers crossed 🤞

What sort of roles are you looking for? A lot of agencies / employers use AI to screen CVs now so you need to be really careful you are using the right words

Executive roles/senior administration roles

You think so???

Yes, how is he the boss of you? It's supposed to be a team sport.

yeah your right- he’s always been like this since I’ve had kids and I worked pt for a good 6 years before going full time- and I just accepted the salary at that time as I got made redundant… what I don’t get is I’ve never questioned him about his salary or said u need to earn x amount… his thing is all these years he’s had to pay the bills and I was unable to help due to looking after the kids and working dead end jobs just to scrape by so I could have some sort of money wether it was £200 a month I had was better than nothing. I just feel so down and full with anxiety that the person who is meant to support me and talk to me is behaving like that? I would get it if im not putting effort into looking for a job but that is not the case if a job comes up and it suits my skills and it’s something I want to get into I will apply x

I'd like to expand my first reply. Use chatgpt in your job search. Perhaps contact some agencies.

But I really think you should reevaluate your relationship.

Contact some agencies, get on linked in.

Is he saying you need to earn x amount to meet the bills or is it some arbitrary figure?

TBH I think if a woman posted in here that her DH wanted to leave his job but the family needed him to be earning a certain amount, everyone would be right behind her.

It's tough but most of us have been there OP.

I ran here to say this.

You said: "and I was unable to help due to looking after the kids"

Read that again...you didn't help?

It’s very overwhelming and depressing.. before having kids all good no problems after my first child I had no help with childcare so I had to leave my job and look after her and then I found a part time job while she attended pre school and then before having my son he kept saying don’t worry about money kept re assuring me as I was hesitant as I knew we weren’t in a good situation money wise etc so after having my son when I had to return back to work he started his nonsense about me going full time I said how’s that’s even possible when the kids need looking after and in that time I nailed a full time job and he told me not to go for it because of the kids etc and now I’ve worked one year full time I know that what I earn isn’t enough and I can earn more if I find the right job and pay.
it’s so rubbish that your husband would behave in this way when you have sacrificed your job your life everything pretty much to have kids and make sure they are looked after but he never sees it like that? It’s almost as if he thinks I sit there and do nothing ? Like I’m not sitting there every single evening during work looking at jobs applying.. and now we have to be all fake as we are going to a party this evening- I can’t even be asked to be around him today rather be on my own..I genuinely thought he would be like don’t worry I know your trying something will come up keep trying I can help if you need me to ? Surely isn’t that what husbands would say to their wife? Rather than mocking her and making her feel like crap!

We want to sell our flat and to get a house my salary needs to be higher then what I’m on now- which I get and I’ve been applying non stop since August but I’ve had nothing back

Two completely separate problems.
DH - needs to support and help your search, not hinder.
The job apps - no response suggests there's something off-putting in your approach. Can you ask a trusted friend who hires or is good at this stuff to look over your application and see what needs to change? Might be better to focus on quality of apps, not quantity.

Yeah I’m gnna have my cv looked at professionally next week to see if something isn’t right and make some changes.

This is so frustrating, I am recruiting at the moment and can’t get anyone good for 2 roles! So many people saying it’s hard as a job hunter, I need to find them

Oh that’s a big shame- hopefully someone comes forward with the right experience x