I'm a 36 year old single mum of two. I started a business apprenticeship last month. It is an amazing opportunity and competition was stiff for the places available. I was thrilled to get selected as I've long harboured fantasies about being a high-flying business type (business savvy, foreign travel, high heels, designer suits etc.) but it was only a fantasy and I didn't expect to be chosen. There is a lot of extra work to do in my own time and I'm still getting used to my new routine while keeping the kids happy. There is a lot of nastiness going on at work too, but I’m determined to use this opportunity as a stepping stone to greater things.
So, what’s my problem? A 19 year old girl started the programme at the same time as me. She has no family nearby and she has chosen me as her special friend. She is a nice girl. She is also a people pleaser and she gets very upset about the sarcasm and blatant bitchiness aimed at her in the office. She phones me every night after work to tell me how horrible they have been to her and seeking reassurance. Her phone calls last over an hour. She is only a few years older than my eldest child and I have tried to be kind to her because she is young and alone and because the nastiness at work is very real. I have tried listening to her woes. I’ve tried telling her that all the apprentices get the same kind of treatment as her (we most certainly do). I have told her that I am busy with my kids (I am). Nothing I say or do makes her feel any better and she keeps phoning me. I have tried directing her to agencies where she can get emotional support. I now resent her demanding my personal time and I have stopped taking her phone calls but I remain pleasant to her during our work time. I need some advice because I feel guilty and the phone calls keep coming, even though I’ve stopped answering them. How can I rectify this situation without being unkind to a young woman who is finding it hard to cope?