If you were my line manager, would these absences be an issue?

[worriedaboutjob3]

really worried I will lose my job. Nobody has said anything yet but I sense unease. have been with current employer for 10 years in a part time role (22h/week).

I only work p/t as DC1 has complex SN but I managed the hours without issue. Very little sick leave (about 2-3 days every 3 years). About 1 year ago, DC2 became unwell. We are under care of the hospital. The condition means currently weekly hospital appointments and 1-2 early collections from school when DC isn't well. I work in a hybrid role and arrange WFH on the hospital days and work my hours around the appointments. When I have an hoc collections from school, I just leave the home office for 30-40 to collect and when I am in the office, it means I have to leave the office early to collect and work the rest of my hours from home. I always work all my hours and the appointments and collections from school do not disturb the running of the business due to the nature of my role as I always finish my hours during the core business hours. I am the highest performing member of the team despite the added stress but I am starting to sense resentment etc from colleagues about the flexibility I get and my line manager seems more annoyed but hasn't said anything yet (she is aware of my personal situation). I have no family or support network. Having DC2 at home doesn't impact my ability to work as they are 14 and don't need extra help. DC2's condition is not well managed at the moment and may not improve any time soon.
I just feel I am becoming a burdon. If you were my line manager, would you see me as a problem?

Hello! I manage someone who is in a very similar situation like you - working part time, hybrid, has a weekly hospital appointment during their normal working hours and very often having to start late or leave early for school drop off or pick up, as she is also caring for a child with serious medical conditions. I really don’t mind her working flexibly as long as work gets done.

I am the highest performing member of the team despite the added stress but I am starting to sense resentment etc from colleagues about the flexibility I get and my line manager seems more annoyed but hasn't said anything yet (she is aware of my personal situation).

The perceived annoyance might be that she/he is managing people who are less disciplined and are asking for the same. I have two staff members with chronic health issues. One is diligent, always informs me, covers work and I would promote in a heartbeat. The other is workshy and milks every little thing. The only annoyance I feel is that I can't be as flexible as I would like with the first because the second expects the same and is a cheeky fucker.

that's helpful. thank you. I am getting slightly paranoid.

I have managed people who needed similar flexibility, my approach is to work with them to make sure they can still make whatever their best contribution to work is at that particular time whilst still being able to deliver the work. (might be less than usual due to outside pressures) and look at each case individually.

It's hard as a manager to manage the expectations of others in the team though, but that shouldn't mean someone doesn't get what they need. Fair does not always mean equal! And you never know when you might be the one who needs flexibility.

Thank you! I think I am more worried about colleagues who appear jealous (if that is the right word - nobody would want a disabled and a very ill child surely)... I certainly noticed a change in my line manager's replies to appointment requests too. Still all approved but there is a definite shift. But I find these replies very reassuring.

Kindly… if the manager is now saying “yes, that’s fine” instead of “yes, that’s fine, take the time you need, hope dc gets better soon” - that may be because your manager has other things going on or has run out of “nice words” that aren’t repetitive.

I manage two people who need lots of time off for appointments. One for himself and one for her child. They both work exceptionally hard, meet deadlines and do all the work that is required of them. I just ask them to book the appointments into both of our diaries so I know when they are OOO and make the hours up when they can. Equally if they occasionally work slightly less hours then so be it. As long as the work is getting done.

I've managed people in similar situations, and I regard the extra flexibility as a reasonable adjustment. As long as you were delivering the work to the required standard, I honestly wouldn't mind at all. It doesn't sound like the flexible working patterns are really impacting on the work at all?

The thing is you're only paid for 22 hours. Are other colleagues full time? Maybe they are assuming you're using work time when in reality you're only paid for 22 hours?

Is manager new or have they known you 10 years?

I wouldn't mind. I would suggest joining a union though, if you're not already a member, just in case you do encounter any issues with your line manager or colleagues at any point. Unions can be a great support if you ever need it, definitely for someone with your circumstances.

I wouldn’t mind at all and you would be offered the opportunity to have a Carer’s Passport, which would document the flexibilities. Agree, make sure you are in a union in case your manager changes. The manager might be having issues with other staff, who perhaps, putting it politely, have less need of flexibilities.

I have managed teams like this. It is never a problem as long as the lines of communication are very open and frequent with the line manager and the rest of the team. But issues crop up when the rest of the team feel like they are picking up work for the other person (whether they are or not is a moot point, it is the perception that is the issue). Also, if the person in question is not available for key team meetings etc so they are not visible.

My advice would be to discuss openly with your line manager and check in. I would start the conversation with something like "I am really concerned that my level fo flexibility is causing resentment in the team. You know I get my work done and to a high standard but is there anything I need to know?" And "How can we work through this?".

Nip it in the bud OP before it boils over. And echo the union advice.

Ps to clarify. This would not be an issue for me as a line manager, but unfortunately you can't always control how your team feels about things.

I wouldn’t have an issue with this as a manager as long as the work is done, deadlines are met and there’s transparency if there is a situation where it does impact a deadline.

Have you had a formal conversation with your manager about the situation? To put yourself at ease and also cover yourself I’d bring it up directly with them in your next 1:1 meeting, say that you want to ensure things are ok from their perspective and if it looks like this is a permanent situation is there a formal flexible working policy that applies?

Like a PP said, I’ve been in the situation where I have to be fair to both the very diligent person (you) and the one prone to slacking. It’s a complete nightmare but I don’t want an unfair dismissal case coming my way.

If your DC is disabled are you
registered as a carer? I am looking at doing this for my own DC as I think/hope
it offers some protection for flexible working requests as opposed to looking like I’m trying to just work when I fancy.

Sympathies, it’s really hard.

there is no formal carer's registry. not in the work place or elsewhere really. I did a flexible working request a while ago to change my pattern to allow the school runs in the context of my caring responsibilities and that was approved but you don't have any more rights in law re flexible working than anyone else. Legislation just isn't there. But if a change to your working hours/pattern does not impact the business negatively, any decent employer should really accommodate it (must actually in law - but that is irrespective of being a carer).

So they can't fire you, you have employment rights.

It doesn't sound like you're raking up high levels of sick leave so they can't go down that route.

You have agreed flexible working so you are in your rights to use that.

It's possible other staff feel you are getting'special treatment' . But that doesn't mean you are. You are completely your work and a strong performer in spite of your challenges.

It is possible that your line manager may feel pressured to reduce your flexibility. Do you have a back up plan ? Could you work less hours and claim carers allowance? Is there someone who can support if needed?

But it may be that your manager is less reassuring because the situation is now common place so she's just use to it rather than it being a case of her being annoyed.