Took a new job but developed a chronic illness

[MarsPeople]

The company I work for now got sold and the new owners were a nightmare. Began demanding a vast amount of work which necessitated weekend working and evenings continuously. I was starting to get burnt out and just coincidentally I got offered another job (which has never happened to me before!) and I was so relieved and just so desperate to get out that I took it.

I have a long notice period which I'm in now and I have started trying to work a bit less and thought I would feel better but I'm not and it looks very likely that I have ME triggered by Covid. I've cut back being in the office to 2 days a week which I can just about manage) but the biggest problem is that this illness isn't that predictable. Sometimes I'm ok and sometimes I'm just not but I can't tell you when that will be.

I have told new job I have Long Covid but they just assume it's because this job has been a mare and I will recover. But I might not. I told them I couldn't travel and they said this was all ok but now they've sent me an invite for their annual get together which is a flight away. I even met with HR who told me they totally understood but it's really clear they don't.

I'm starting to panic a bit about it all. I need to work (I'm a single parent) and there's no one else to pay the bills. I have no income support insurance, I only have critical illness but neither long Covid or ME are covered.

Realistically I need to start the job and see how it goes but I'm really worried it will be too much.

(New job starts in February, in this one till then)

It’s a long time between now and February. Focus on the steps you can take to get well. I think 12 weeks is the typical timeframe for long covid

OP, you need to take it as it comes.

Stick to contracted hours only during your notice period, get plenty of rest, eat as healthily as possible, avoid alcohol and stress. Early to bed.

Then start your new job. Go on their annual get-together but pace yourself. Take each day at a time. Good luck.

Thanks - I've had this a lot longer - I thought it was work but I now realise it was when I had Covid that I started feeling this way so it's been more than a year now (it was approximately August 2023 that I had it and never fully recovered). I'm sure the horrendous job didn't help as I never got a chance to rest!

Thanks both - your messages are calming me a bit! I can only do so much and I have to take every day as it comes, you're right

Sympathy. I had long Covid and it was about 8 months start to end. Now I have a pulmonary embolism! Just a real run of bad luck health-wise.

i agree: rest as much as you can between now and February. Do all the self-care things. Hopefully you will improve. If you don't, or not enough, get some reasonable adjustments set up with the new place before you start. Formalise things like less travel required; involve their occupational health people. That should give you the best chance to get a good start and good experience at your new place.

Thanks @HappyHolidai

Pulmonary embolism sounds terrible - poor you! Yes I feel I've had an awful run of it so I know how you feel. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi OP! I have ME. Have you been referred to a ME clinic?

Have you looked at the free leaflets on the ME Association website? Here is the link.

meassociation.org.uk/free-literature-downloads/

The ME clinic i went to (online) put a lot of emphasis on relaxation exercises such as meditation or the breathing like you do in yoga. Try to do this. Ideally you need to built this into your working day.

In essence though you most do less than whatever you are doing now. Much less.

I would consider calling in sick.

Oh and apply for PIP but don't fill the form out by yourself. Ask your GP if there is a local charity that helps. Otherwise go to Citizens Advice.

Be warned - unless you are lucky and get it straight away it is a long process. I originally applied in June 2023, got rejected and applied to take it to tribunal in February 2024. I still don't even have a date for my tribunal.

Good advice on the ME association link above .

No, the biggest issue is that no one wants to say I have it. At the moment, I've been referred to a specialist (luckily I still have private healthcare) who was convinced it was the menopause. So I went on HRT and tried that for 6 months and it didn't seem to do much. Then they tried something else which also didn't work. All of this takes ages as every new thing takes months on end. And now here we are, 14 months later and I'm no better still.

I can see from the diagnostic criteria that is very likely I have it. All my blood tests are clear and it was triggered by Covid. I've hardly ever had to see the GP my whole life so because I was so fit and healthy before I got sick, I just think everyone believes I will recover. And a lot of people do apparently recover on the 18 months to 2 year trajectory.

I'm pacing and doing all that I can but I'm also terrified of getting worse!

Hi @MarsPeople press your GP to refer you. I can recommend the clinic at Sutton Hospital. Doesn't matter if you don't live in that area (I don't) because the whole process is online .

As you say there is a risk of getting worse, and without proper advice that is far more likely.

If your GP or anyone recommends graded exercise therapy, don't do it. It used to be a recommended treatment but has since been found to be harmful. It was removed from the NICE guidelines in 2021.

The key to getting better or at least not getting worse is proactive rest and pacing. Proactive rest is what I mentioned above - meditation, yoga-style breathing exercises and other relaxation exercises. I was told to have a proactive rest between showering and getting dressed!

Another recommendation is to get yourself the VIsible app with the heart rate monitor. It is a piece of technology that does the pacing for you. It is great. It also helps you understand what activities are tiring (showering for me). https://www.makevisible.com/?utmsource=facebook&utmmmedium=paid&utmcampaign=BAUUProspectingUKKWebPurchaseeManualABOOAudiences0324&utmmterm=BAUProspectinggUKWebbPurchase18%2BBPurchLALs-ExclUsersPurch-Adv%2BAudienceMaxConv&utmmcontent=UGCZara1-BandFeature-PPPNAIGetSoManyPeopleAskinggHowVisibleBandHelpsPacingNAALearnMore+-+Copy&fbadid=120213000779080740&fbclid=IwY2xjawFfjDVleHRuA2FlbQEwAAEdHJeZMJnJwASYsueMsL3pyl1cRkuFFVE7PEi4emhhxtMjZWVQQDGkSDaemm0pfpqPr0uyNrlAcNY3K4-g

If you are doing any vigorous exercise stop it now. I
Used to be a triathlete. I'm gutted I can't do it any more but such is life.

If you're still working for the company you've given notice to stop now and just rest. The key thing with ME is to do less than you are able to each day. I agree with meditation and relaxation. Good luck OP ❤️

They need to be giving you reasonable adjustments if it's likely to last 12 months