Sexual harassment?

[jellybeanJ]

My boss has been having an affair with his boss for 2 years. Both married to others. He recently told me about this. This lead to a number of messages to me about his sex life that have made me feel uncomfortable. Please see below. Advice please on whether this is as bad as it feels to me, or if I am making into a big deal.

I am currently going through cancer treatment, which as my manager he knows. This has not stopped him sending these messages.

Messages:
’She told me she was leaving me. Then we f&ckd 3 times’
’She fancies me like f867 and I’m the best s* she’s ever had.’
’ We kept a pack of pregnancy tests int he office and had a little celebration every time they were negative.’
’We were almost caught once by someone checking the printers.’
’I feel like you like the dark brooding type’
’Would you go to a festival with me or is this too weird?’

Here are some verbatim examples.
I’mliterally clueless here. But what I do know is that these messages are unwelcome and make me feel very weird.
I have a meeting with the MD next week and want to know if I should explain what has happened and what repercussions could be.

This is so inappropriate. Is the MD approachable? Are they buddies with these people? (Not assuming you have at all) but are you 100% sure that you haven’t said anything that could be turned back on you by this manager?

This looks like sexual harassment to me plus the affair is completely inappropriate and gross misconduct if they’re conducting it at work.

I think you should tell the MD. Can you request HR are present or have a witness attend with you?

I’m so sorry that you’re going through cancer treatment. This is the last thing you need. It is a a protected characteristic.

Hopefully you have taken screenshots.

Expect to be told it's not sexual harassment - it very much is SH to send someone unwanted/unsolicited messages about sexual things.

I would explain it to the MD in these terms:

What's been happening
The affair (as context, not as telling tales)
The impact it's having on your especially given your poor health at the moment
Think about what you want to happen and be clear about the outcome you want (don't go for things like I want him fired, that's not within your gift to demand)

I have been in a very similar situation before, telling the top boss was very effective indeed and the man who harassed me had his life made a misery so much that he left of his own accord.

The main thing I want is a change of line manager. It feels a reasonable request.

thanks for the replies