And I’m not sure if it’s related to my job. I am working as a contractor currently and I have the impression that they were expecting someone to be ‘plug and play’, ie to hit the ground running on day 1 and that’s not really been me. I have had a really great attitude and am genuinely not struggling in the role. There are some new areas that I have needed to ask questions in respect of. I find the team not very supportive and there is quite a bit of irritability if I have a follow up question on something. I have been able to handle my matters directly with the clients (no need for someone else to be doing them with me). I’m on annual leave at present and literal have spent most of the time off and weekend worrying about returning to work on Monday. I really need some perspective here and for someone to tell me to appreciate all the good things in my life !! I have two healthy beautiful children and a lovely house and a healthy husband who is working. I have been working in the city for about ten years - I have a lot of quality companies on my cv and experience in good jobs. Life is short and it’s so important to not let colleagues bring you down but I feel so miserable at the moment and weighed down by all the expensive childcare and instability at work. I’ve been looking for a permanent job for over a year. It’s so hard out there. I think contractors do have a hard time as people know that you’re dispensable vs being a perm. I also feel a bit weighed down by family issues (my parents favouring my sibling for forever) and this makes me feel sad quite often.
Not sure what I am looking for - maybe some guidance on how to turn things around. I don’t exercise at all and I don’t eat very well. I guess this doesn’t help. Maybe therapy would do me good.
I relocated from Taiwan 18 months ago being an expat there for many years although I am British. Maybe it’s that. The reality of the reverse culture shock is hitting me possibly.
if you have got this far thank you. X