How to handle not fitting in team

[Goldenapplesofsun]

Hi

Can anyone please offer any advice.

I have been a role 2 years now. I love the job but I don’t fit into the team at all. Ive tried my best to my abilities ( I prefer getting to know people over time in the office environment) but I feel like people make their mind up about you and that’s it. One person in particular just didn’t take to me and it’s like she coloured everybody else’s view. Like a queen bee effect.

Would you leave a job you love if you know you’re just not fitting in? I feel like it’s a detriment to both me and the team as surely it doesn’t help them having someone nobody likes as well. Obviously it’s not easy just to leave and I need a job.

Has anyone been in this situation and what did you do?

I am sorry you are having a hard time at work. It is horrible when you love your job but there are one or two people who just ruin it for you. Is there anyway you can block them out or just ignore their behaviour? Just be positive and friendly and see if it gets any better? I left a job that I loved as I was in a similar position. I did find another role quickly but don't enjoy the role as much but the people are nicer.

How closely do you need to work with these people? Does it affect your day to day happiness at work?
How long have you been there? And are you quite certain they don't like you?- you could be wrong?
Lots of people don't like me. One of my friends is always telling people how she didn't like me when we first met!- and worked together! It's gotten easier as I've gotten older and I care less.. but, if it's really affecting you and you think a different team would be better, it might be worth considering a change. Is there an option to change teams within your current job?

It's tough isn't it. I've felt this way in a few jobs. Would you describe it as cliquey? I always find it easier when other staff join the team and I'm no longer the new girl. Are you still the newest member? If a new person starts they might feel relieved to find someone who's not part of the clique and will likely appreciate a friendly face.

Otherwise just think of the job as a job. End of. Keep telling yourself you're there to work, not to make friends. Stay professional and polite. It would be a shame to give up a job you love.

At some point there will probably (in my experience) be a falling out amongst the friendship group and things may change.

Hi Op I was in this situation for the first time in 36 yrs.
Queen bee didn't like me then the other women who applied for the job I got was ok to start with but was queen bees friend and compliant to her.
I did 18 months of keeping myself to myself as they wouldn't acknowledge me.
I worked on me ideas, befriended others on site but when I eventually left I felt a huge relief.
Worst job of my life as being ostracized is hard.
Sorry you are going through this.

I wonder how people actually feel about the queen bee?

Yah I pretty much feel like that. I feel like people talk about me behind my back and I’m not really sure why. I’ve sort of tried to just be myself (work version) and just carry on. But yeah it feels like a waste of time being there if I think about it too much.

Honestly get out.
My new place has a lady I was warned about. Long timer.
Started off nice then went nasty and has been spoken to about her behaviour towards me.
Everyone else is really nice though and some of the team have also been treated poorly by her so I don't take it personally.
It's bearable as I have lots of lovely colleagues.