I can't get out of this situation in work. How can I change my life! Starting to get me down.

[jogym]

I have worked for the same firm for 20 years. In fact this is my one and only job at nearly 38 years old. I am stuck in a big rut and need to change my life. I work part-time (3 days) since 1999 and since then I get treated differently (as does the girl who I job share with). Examples are: Probably not get paid as much, can't work for a partner, have to do switchboard duties. The switchboard duties are for when receptionists are on leave or sick and there are about 10 people on the rota - mostly new staff with the exception of say about 4. Out of our department (7 girls) we are the only two asked to do this as I have been told I have had the capacity but on the past 3 occasions I have been extremely busy and had to leave my work, when I have come back the others could be on the internet, going off to make tea, emailed round to say they can give a hand. The reason I was given to why I am being asked all the time was that you're good at it. At the moment I am due my appraisal but so far they haven't been bothered about it giving the excuse that this one has been doing this and that and not all 3 of them have been around to do it at the same time. I am the only one in the firm still to have hers (around 50 secretaries). This is making me ill I just want to get it over with and at nights thinking about it I am getting a horrible twisted feeling in my stomach. Another thing to mention is that at 20 years service you usually got a loyalty bonus but as mine was due in June all of a sudden have been told that you only get it for the first 10 years now. I SO NEED A NEW JOB. How can I get out of this place. I can't get a 3 day week anywhere and I need to as my mum looks after DD1 and 2 and needs that 2 day break. This is so effecting my personality. I am just existing when I am there and am no fun any more. I am so serious and can't remember the last time I really laughed. After 20 years to this firm they have given me nothing back in return.

jogym I could spend ages working my way through the problems you've had but first need to know what you want. Do you actually want to leave, and want advice about how to do it, where to go, prospects elsewhere? Or do you want to sort out the issues you have where you are and stay there?

Well I definetly want to leave but don't know how to. At my appraisal (which was meant to be from Easter but I still haven't had it due to this one and that one not being there) I would love to bring up these issues but am always brought down with an excuse so it makes me lose confidence in speaking up for myself.

It sounds like a lack of assertiveness and confidence are holding you back, and that your employers are taking you for granted because of this.

Firstly, I think you need to email your boss/es and say that you really think your appraisal is overdue now and perhaps you'd better put heads together and get a date in the diary.
Then, I'd advise writing down all the issues you want to raise at your appraisal and bringing your list with you. There is no shame in being well prepared. Assertiveness is not the same as being rude or cocky. If you don't ask, you don't get.

If they are still not taking you seriously and addressing your concerns, you have several choices. call a meeting with your boss and tell him/her how truly unhappy you are about the situation at work. Get HR involved. Leave.

After 20 years as a secretary you must have so many skills that any employer would want. You don't need to stay in a job you don't like.

One time before when I was told to do switchboard duties I had had enough so I refused to do it. I told switchboard that I was too busy. As I believe and have been told by several people some senior secretaries!! have said they would not be doing it but I think they have went to the partner they work for and the partner has said well that ok because I don't want you to. This is the problem. Apparently the partners don't like their secretaries to. A week later I was sent a stern email from the staff partner to say that I was doing it and the partners in my department said I had the capacity to do so and that other long serving secretaries (what am I then) undertake other tasks like apprentice inductions (1 secretary does)that that was why!! I don't work for a partner because of being part-time. I will do this about the appraisal when I go back Thursday. Don't you think it is so rude and I am actually embarrassed when colleagues are asking me have I had it yet. It's like i'm unimportant.

What MrsMattie said. There's no reason they should be able to fob you off. If you need three people there for your appraisal, can you not set the appointment yourself? Do you have the facility where you are to check people's diaries and send invitations or just put meetings in? If so, do it, and send an email/speak to them to say you are doing it.

If you can't do that, just speak to whoever the right person is, taking in your diary and details of availability of anyone relevant and set the date. You should do that regardless so you get your appraisal.

If you really want to leave, you should go and have a chat with a few recruitment consultants, often there are ones specialising in legal secretaries (if that's what you are) or similar. Doing that will probably improve your confidence, once you start going through your cv, talking about the things you've done, skills and experience you've built up, you will feel better about your abilities and the recruitment consultant will be able to advise you about prospects and what's available. Including for 3 days.

Flowery have been to one about 2 months ago but have heard nothing. Either mornings or afternoons. Days are so hard to get here in Belfast. There is a firm looking for part or full time secretary just up from where I live so I am going to apply for this. My CV looks so pathetic because I have nothing to put on it. The problem in work also is that in our department there are your usual ones that are the go get girls, all smiles and well how was your weekend and going out with solicitors outside work and I'm not like that I just come to do my work and this is also where you get problems because bosses love that and they get all that's going.

JoGym,
So sorry to hear about your bad employee experience. Agree totally with other posters above - MrsMattie on advice on how to handle current work and that you totally have skills that would be appreciated elsewhere. Incidentally, as I am typing there is a banner add for www.workingmums.co.uk which is a recruitment website specifically aimed at working mums and you might find opportunities on there. Also, just look for recruitment agencies locally to you and look in your local paper for jobs, plus talk to your friends who might a) know about jobs at their work or b) actually want to go part-time themselves and could put you forward as a potential job share (although I know that working with friends doesn't always appeal to everyone).
On the long service award, we have rolled out at scheme at my work this year and captured everyone who would have been eligible, even if they have passed the anniversary date - if your employer has changed the anniversary date for 10 years, but you did not get an award at 10 years service, they should still be recognising you (I am if they are not!).
You could use what you have written here as the basis for your notes for your appraisal also.
HTH

Starshinetiger I got an award at 10 years but at the 20 years service did not. It was always one every 10 years but now they say just one for 10 years service.

jogym you have a bit of a defeatist attitude which is totally understandable. Your cv definitely doesn't need to look 'pathetic' just because you haven't hopped around loads of different jobs. During 20 years you will have worked for different bosses, you will have improved your skills, you will have been involved in different things, you will have taken on different responsibilities and will be able to demonstrate loads of experience in the things they need.

If you have a job description for the job you want to apply for, look at what you would be expected to do, and what skills and experience you are expected to demonstrate. Tailor your cv accordingly. Most people have to be really selective about what they can put for each job because they are trying to squish loads of jobs in. You have the luxury of being able to take as much room as you like to make sure everything relevant in your current job goes on your cv.

Make sure you write in short sentences, use bullet points and good spacing so it's easy to read, don't write in long paragraphs. A 20 year record with one firm is very positive in lots of ways, don't underestimate the skills and experience you have gained over that time, you have an awful lot to offer a new employer.

Just on your second point, I'm not suggesting you change who you are, but it's not that surprising that secretaries who are 'all smiles' and socialise with the relevant people get the good work. It's not right, but it's not surprising - networking and an outgoing, friendly attitude can go a long way sometimes. It also sounds as though you are overlooked a bit simply because it's possible to do so - you are probably seen as someone dependable who 'won't mind' having her appraisal delayed, or not doing the more important work. It's probably easier to avoid upsetting some of the others who might make more of a fuss.

None of this is right, but it is reality. Don't change yourself as such, but being aware of the reason for things always helps you work out the best way to address it. Perhaps in your next job, try and go out occasionally, and have the confidence to realise you don't need to get walked over. Just getting a new job should give you extra confidence hopefully, so should help this.

Sorry JoGym - crossed with others 'cos I took so long to post. I'm sure that you have lots of really relevant experience from your 20 years - look at what you've done and what you have learnt from it (e.g. how to manage diaries, prioritise your workload, book travel?, coach new members of team/other secretaries based on your experience with the firm), also what skills you have from things you have done outside work - even if just running or being involved in groups for your DDs activities, or organising social events - there are all sorts of ways you can describe these activities to dress them up but they are still the core skills you will need in a secretarial role. Employers will be interested in you because you have lots of experience as a secretary and you are interested in the role long-term, so don't do yourself down!
HTH (again)