Inappropriate Interview Questions

[LifeisHard73]

I’m currently looking for a new role as my current contract ends soon.

I interviewed with relatively new company, not in start up phase but not quite 5 years in. This is a role that I have loads of experience for and lots of contacts.

During the interview he asked me if I was married, had kids and I said yes I’m married but my kids are adults now. He then said ‘can I ask how old you are’ and I didn’t quite know what to say. He could obviously see I was shocked to be asked and he said ‘you don’t have to answer, it makes no difference to us I just don’t think you look old enough to have adult children’. Reluctantly I said ‘ I’m 51’..

I didn’t get the job. Feedback, they couldn’t match the salary I wanted and they felt the role was too junior for me.

There is nothing I can do but I’m looking for advice as to how to handle being an older women in interviews? How would you have answered? how many years do you go back on your CV?

Thanks!

I'd have said 'Do you mind me asking how that is relevant to the post?'

Oh and I cover the last three jobs on my CV. That's 20+ years, but I think as long as you have ten relevant years you can go into detail for that's enough.

I'm going through the same at the moment.

If they ask my age, I hesitate and then say 'I don't think you're supposed to ask that, are you? Turn it into a question, which puts it back on them. Most will back down immediately.

If they ask about children, I say 'I don't have any caring responsibilities.'. That can cover elderly parents as well and gets the question out of the way.

Your interviewer's comment about children is absurd. Having grown up children in late 30s is not rare so his only reason for asking must have been to determine your other commitments. Unless he was flirting with you.

There are some really incompetent interviewers around.

I would thank them for the feedback and let them know that it's a question they're not supposed to ask in interviews as it makes them vulnerable to age discrimination accusations. Nice veiled threat to shit them up of a morning.

On the interviewing question, are you applying for senior enough posts? Your industry area would help people advise properly too as I think this will vary. I put my last 3 roles even though the first of those was ages ago because I took some time out when my kids were small. Guess back about 15 years.

They're not supposed to ask any personal questions, are they? About age, children, caring responsibilities, anything?
I certainly wouldn't have answered those.

But if you don’t answer you come across as standoffish. Dammed if you do and if you don’t!

Those questions are illegal and I would tell them so. Or answer obtusely, gosh that's flattering Bob, but you're not my type, I prefer my men a little younger and richer than you and wink 😜

I suspect you won't get the same questions again as few people can be that stupid.

My DH's idiotic former line manager asked similar questions to a female candidate who was in her 30s.. when she reported back the company immediately decided to offer her the role, and from that point onwards the line manager was not permitted to run interviews on his own!

I would just point blank say 'can I ask how that question is relevant to this job interview?' and let them squirm.

Those questions are not just inappropriate they're illegal.

Lie. Until people stop asking question that they are legally not allowed to ask - lie.

I'd say I'm 25, every year I'm 25 ... it's my standard answer to be honest!
That bollocks about too junior a role is shocking, you decide if you want a less senior role, they should feel lucky to get the experience if you decide that's the level you want.
Personally I'd also feed back to them as another poster said, just To feedback about interview questions ... kids and age aren't appropriate questions these days, very ageist, sexist and I'm sure many other 'ism's too

As a nanny one of the most bizarre question I get asked (frequently!) at interviews is 'What does your father do?'. Never my mother. And what's the difference whether he's a refuse collector or a rocket scientist?! I don't understand it at all.

I'd go for a gentle expression and faintly bemused air and 'Is that something you're meant to ask in interviews?'

“Actually those questions are illegal under discrimination law, which I’m sure you don’t want to break, so it’s probably best I don’t answer them.”

I'm 58 and have freelanced for 20+ years. I get more indirect age questions (asking about husband and adult kids to try to gauge whether I'm going to retire or go part-time). I always parry that I've married a younger man who is a workaholic (true) and dont plan to retire until he does (not true) so have 10 years to go which is just as well as my adult kids are still on the books (not true). Worked so far.

Years back I got pissed off about the "what does your dad do questioning?" I pretended I thought interviewer was genuinely interested in getting my dad to do painting and decorating for him (gave him my dad's business card and said his office needed a spruce as it was old fashioned).

It's not illegal to ask those questions, but it is incredibly stupid. What is illegal is to discriminate on the related grounds, so unless an employer can prove they asked every single candidate those questions, and there is a genuine relevance to the role, then asking them is likely to demonstrate bias/discrimination.

I've had a few interviews in the last couple of years, and I don't think any of them has asked about my age, nor my marital status. Nor had only 1 person interviewing me. I'm in IT - I wonder if the field makes a difference?

I work in sales, employee benefits. It’s quite quite a female industry. I’ve never been asked this before. Well years ago when it was ‘normal’ for men to ask women inappropriate questions in interviews!

I think is is actually illegal to ask except in certain circumstances. Such as if you must be a certain age to do a job or must be old enough to drive etc.

It's not illegal to ask, but you must not use that information in the decision making process, as that would be discrimination, so it's pointless asking, and good interviewers won't waste their time on it. (With the exceptions where it is a requirement, like being over 18 to sell alcohol.)

Plenty of people aren't good interviewers, and not all employers, especially small ones, have an HR department to guide them.

My previous employer was a large multinational and my manager had to submit all the questions he planned to ask before an interview - I'm not sure HR were really the best people to vet techy questions, but I assume they were more concerned with the personal-type questions.

Let me clear up this misapprehension once and for all for the length of this thread.

There are no "illegal questions". (How exactly would that law be written?) Interviewers can legally ask you anything. What would be illegal is to make an employment decision on the basis of a protected characteristic such as gender, sexuality, or age. A smart interviewer wouldn't ask the questions, because they can't possibly reflect on fitness for the job and so needlessly open the employer up to a discrimination claim. But there's nothing inherently illegal in asking. There's a big gap between "a bad idea" and "illegal".

Or, to quote Ryan Gosling in The Big Short, "Tell me the difference between stupid and illegal and I'll have my wife's brother arrested."

Thank you for clarifying. I did look online and there are lots of sites saying you’re not legally allowed ask but you seem to know what you’re talking about! Deep down I feel I didn’t get the job because they’re all 30-early 40s but I can’t prove that. I’m tempted to give him feedback about asking those question but what would that achieve?!

I’ll be smarter next time and if it happens and just say I’m not sure you’re supposed to ask me that
.

It's a common misapprehension, hence the info you're finding. But there are not in fact any laws specifically governing the questions you may ask in a job interview. The laws govern the basis for making decisions on employment, not the questions that you ask.

I would advise politely throwing the question back with "I'm not sure of the relevance of this to the job; can you explain..?" or "I think it's best we don't get into that, to avoid the appearance of discrimination, don't you?". Only a terminally stupid interviewer would press the question after that.

Not at all. Know your rights, you have every right to politely decline to give any response to that and quite frankly, any organisation openly and brazenly breaking the law (which they are), doesn't deserve good people who have experience to contribute to their business.

I'd have great delight in going through the interview, being offered the job and turning it down on the basis that I wouldn't want to work for a company that discriminates so casually.

think of it like a Relationship red flag, except it's an Employment red flag. If they behave like that at interview then it's exactly how they'll treat you during your employment (no opportunities because they will say you're too old, and a woman, and a mother and, and, and). The plumb jobs will go to the single white men, aged 30 to 40 yo.

I would ask them why they wanted to know? When he stated, you don’t need to answer, it makes no difference, then I would have said, if it makes no difference, then let’s move on. I might have added, let’s not waste our time then.

I remember these types of questions from 40 years ago; are you married, engaged, do you have a boyfriend….(aka how long will it be before you go on mat leave).