Insane appraisal - what now?

[Lemons1571]

Im in a professional qualified role - think legal, HR, finance, governance.

I changed employer last year after a long stint in one place, safe, but I got bored and wanted a new challenge.

Am a year in to the new place. Completely different. Insanely busy on the wrong activities, dated, crazy decisions from the top, lots of gaslighting (manager changes advice as work progresses then blames me for not understanding my role)

Six month probationary was fine, all good. Got to a year and it’s all negative (completely out of the blue). This was on Friday. Apparently i’m “checked out, don’t understand what I’m doing, overwhelmed, it’s too much for me, don’t contribute to the team any more, don’t speak up” etc etc.

When I challenged some of these accusations I got a non answer. Eg I challenged the supposed lack of contribution in meetings and said I don’t feel I contribute less (I know I don’t). Response was that it’s my appraisal and I shouldn’t be comparing to my colleagues.

Anyway I called out a particular incident where I knew I was correct and it wasn’t that “I don’t understand my role”. Took 3 goes to explain it to manager as they looked bewildered, they couldn't get their head around what I was saying. The look when they realised I was correct….

Manager said couldn’t tell the director as he’d had a stressful week and was sensitive. Then manager got teary and said work was highly stressful at the moment and they were surprised they hadn’t got signed off by their gp.

This is my appraisal!!

I took charge and smoothed the rest of the meeting over. But wtf now - how do I proceed? I feel angry, indignant and like a complete idiot. Spent so long questioning myself but deep down I know it’s not me (is it?). Appraisal hasn’t yet been written up on the system.

Who wrote the appraisal, manager or director?

Manager - in person meeting. Not been formally written up yet.

start looking for another job immediately - sounds like they are looking to get rid of you - and if you're in your first 2 years, it won't be difficult. Sorry, it sounds like a shit show!

@CupOfSoup i did wonder that. But why wouldn’t they just tell me to go? Surely within 2 years they don’t need to manage me out.

I did say I felt 100% unvalued. Response by manager was that if I walked out that day they’d be screwed.

So mixed up!

Agree

I'd be looking to get out.

They sound shot, an appraisal should be a two way conversation and nothing should ever be a surprise.

I would definitely write up my own feedback on the appraisal while it's fresh in your mind. It might be difficult to not apportion blame but i think you should certainly highlight the error(s)!

It sounds like the director was annoyed at something being done wrong and the manager said its you and then realised it wasn't and is worried about backtracking to save her own skin.

If you otherwise enjoy the job I'd just be firm about wanting the appraisal documents to be updated to reflect the fact you weren't wrong, and suggest something like if you feel x isn't working well perhaps we can have catch ups at y frequency; she'll soon say no I expect but you shouldn't be getting surprises at an appraisal they should be addressed throughout the year. It sounds like some are completely imaginary anyway which isn't fair.

I doubt much will change and I'd be side eyeing the door at least though.

Can you get the appraisal in writing, so you can respond item by item in writing, with time to think about it. If the appraisal is really bad I would think it only right you should be able to reply officially, having it thrown at you in a meeting is not really fair.

Be very careful what you agree to in your appraisal documents.

In a previous job I was doing a really good job but a colleague wasn’t. When confronted by the manager this colleague came up with a convoluted and completely false reason for why his terrible performance was my fault. I thought I had addressed this with my manager but in my appraisal documents it was noted. There had been an issue, a colleague said it was my fault and all had been resolved. Cut to 8 years of outstanding performance later the company tried to get rid of me (constructive dismissal 101) and they cited this as part of the reason!

I would advise that if you don’t agree push back! Your manager sounds like a mess!

it is all a mess. If they’re trying to manage me out, crying and saying they think their gp will sign them off is a really odd way to go about it

@twomanyfrogsinabox it will be written up eventually. Took this manager 3 months to write up staff appraisals last year. So I might not see it in writing until January. I have made a file note of the meeting though

The peculiar appraisal seems like just another nail in the coffin of a bad job all round.

The only regret I've had about leaving rubbish jobs was that I put myself through the trouble of trying to make it work for so long. I'd leave pronto if I were you.

I refused to sign my appraisal one year. I did put my point of view across. Got my "below expectations" below inflation payrise.
Switched managers about 3 months later. He kicked up a stink, and I got my additional payrise - tho the appraisal didn't get altered.

Sounds like the manager is trying to deflect their own work problems / overwhelm onto you. To save themselves!

Totally agree with @Gowlett This sounds like your Managers issue, not yours.... you've come in and actually know what you're doing, Manager is struggling and worried you are after their job ?

We have a catch up meeting today. I have no idea what this will bring. The place is like one of those impossible mazes where right is actually left and the stairs never end.

It could all be completely ignored though.

i will log on shortly and see if anything has been written up.

Ugh, I hate it when you dread working days. It affects everything does it.

Red flags everywhere. And it sounds like you're not enjoying the job, even before this appraisal.

Start looking for another job. Life is too short to spend the vast majority of our waking hours hating your job, surrounded by their self inflicted chaos and being left questioning your skills and abilities.

And yes, deasding work is awful. Colours everything else.

I would write up your own factual summary of the appraisal and email it to your manager in a "just to summarise, this is my understanding of the meeting we had today" kind of way so that it's recorded and you're not waiting 3 months for your flaky stressed manager to write a pack of lies about you.

Usually appraisals have a box for the employee to write their comments. Make good use of this space and challenge anything that is incorrect in writing.

You are both entitled to your opinion, but do not let them coerce you into agreeing with their opinion.

I had a similar job myself and took many more months to finally leave - in the end I quit with nowhere to go because my mental health and self esteem was shot.

Start looking now for another job. You've made it to.a year, well done now move on rather than continuing in the shit show.

Oh god, wondered if I had written this. Going through very similar, it’s so shit isn’t it. I am actively looking for something else, while also being cross with myself for taking this role in a shit show organisation in the first place (to be fair to me, they sold me a rather different picture to reality). Solidarity - it will work out!

Thank you all. It’s lovely to feel some support from you all, though depressingly it should be the managers stepping up to support me!

i agree about the manager trying to save their own skin. I am lumbered with trying to sort out mistakes made by people in the team before I joined, and no doubt I will get thrown under the bus when the messes can’t be totally resolved.

Had 1-2-1 today. Virtual and awkward. Doesn’t seem to understand there are many issues all along the same lines - keeps trying to solve each issue independently of the actual source of the problem, so the issues will just keep happening.