Returning from maternity leave after 6 weeks

[TartanPJs]

I’d like to know how feasible people who’ve already had a baby think my plan is. I’m not in the UK, so rules around maternity leave etc work differently here. Any feedback/advice would be much appreciated!

I’m finally pregnant with my first after a long period of infertility including a miscarriage, failed rounds of IVF etc . I’m obviously thrilled but I’m freelance, and I’m worried about the fact that I really feel that I can’t take all my maternity leave in one go (I have a lot of flexibility about how and when I can take it). I’d risk losing clients and the baby is due about 6 weeks before one of the most crucial times of year in my industry. So my plan is to go back initially after 6 weeks, either full or nearly full time (depending on various factors) and leave the baby with DH who will still be on paternity leave.

Full-time for me isn’t as much as full time for most people. I can get away with probably 1-2 hours a day WFH (totally flexible, can be done whenever) and then 4-5 hours a day out of the house doing client-facing work (will be less some days). My business premises are a ten minute walk or five minute drive from home, so barely a commute. DH can bring the baby in to see me while I’m there and I might even be able to fit in a little feed, depending on what’s going on. I will be able to schedule in time to pump, and am planning to get a mini fridge for work to store breastmilk. I was going to start pumping and giving the baby expressed milk in a bottle at 4 weeks, so he will be used to it when I go back, assuming he’ll take the bottle.

After a couple of months, I’ll hit what is always a quiet time of year, at which point I can either take the rest of my mat leave full time, or continue working but very part time (10 hours a week max, spread across the week).

I know the general consensus on Mumsnet is that going back before 6 months is basically impossible, but in the country where I live it’s common, and I have friends in countries where going back much sooner is the norm and they manage. I’m a little bit heartbroken that it has to be this way, but I don’t feel like I have much choice without risking my business, and we need my income.

I am an older mum with some preexisting health conditions that mean this is a high-risk pregnancy. So far all is going well, but obviously there could be complications that mean that I will have to revise this plan and take longer. But, if I do have a vaginal birth and no significant complications (which the doctors seem to think is a likely outcome at the moment) is this plan feasible? Or am I mad?

After 6 weeks I'd absolutely have been physically able to get back to work. I had 3 c sections and pre eclampsia twice with a stay in high dependency on one birth and I'd still have been absolutely fine after six weeks. One of mine was also in nicu for several weeks but that didn't impact my physical recovery. In saying that I never breastfed so that possibly made things easier and I totally accept that I seemed to recover physically quicker than a lot of people do. 8 weeks maternity leave was the norm when I was younger as I remember my teacher being out for two months after a baby and my aunts being delighted with their two months off and thank god it's gotten much better but with support it absolutely it doable. A very good friend found her dream job while at the start of maternity leave and went back early as she couldn't not take this role and I know someone who ran her own very successful small business in the creative field where she also had to go back. Now obviously OP every woman is different and your recovery won't be the same as other peoples so you don't know how you will feel. Congratulations on your pregnancy and best of luck with it

It’s not that historic - my mum went back after 2 weeks with me (late 70s).

Yes, if you're looking at going back so early then trying to breastfeed is adding a whole new layer of complications. If you make DH the parent primarily responsible for feeding, you can focus more on your recovery and sleep.

I would try to plan ahead as much as possible to minimise how much client facing work you will need to do - can some of it be done early, can some of it be done asynchronously, can some of it be done remotely - mainly to give yourself the maximum possible flexibility. Don't forget that "term" can be up to 3 weeks early or 2 weeks late (though if you are older and post IVF I guess they will probably look look to deliver you shortly after 40/40 at the latest). Good luck and best wishes.

You need to be prepared that the baby might be very early or up to three weeks late and might be unwell. And you might have some healing to do.
But - if baby has a full time parent (your DH) and baby is able to travel about with you for feeding and cuddles etc there is no issue here. I met a dad taking a years paternity leave when I was on mat leave his family had a similar set up and he loved it.
Is dad willing to be really hands on in terms of house work etc as although you CAN do laptop based email work with a baby sleeping on you, you will still be tired and healing from childbirth.

Ps Jacinda Arden made it work!