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Universal credit and disabled child

4 replies

Aliceb1995 · 30/09/2024 10:08

Hello everyone. Just want to see if anyone has been in the same situation and know the ins and outs.

I am working a 20 hour a week job during school hours, so quitting for my disabled child may be a challenge. However the old she is getting the harder half term child care is to find and my ex (her dad) isn’t able to have her as much as he used to she is also currently coming home more, being sent home more, and as we live in a small flat, the house work piles up and up and up. My partner works full time, and we do get a small ammount on Uc 0-125 depending on the month.

I am looking to quit due to stress, overwhelmingness, just want to be a better parent as by time I’m done working, it’s straight to school straight home to a very hyper, angry, tempered ADHD and autistic child, who doesn’t have any personal space or boundaries. I can’t be the parent I need to be due to work, housework other things in life and I am wondering if I quit would I get sanctioned for making this decision or is this a fair decision I’m making for my child. I want to focus more on raising my child, helping my child but I can’t do this as I am just so busy and so exhausted and it’s not fair on her.

thank you

OP posts:
GlorifiedChair · 30/09/2024 16:49

Does your child receive the highest or middle rate care component of Disability Living Allowance or Child Disability Payment? If so, you can declare yourself as your child's unpaid carer and claim the Carer Element of UC - there are no work requirements when you are an unpaid carer and you won't be sanctioned for leaving your job.

Aliceb1995 · 01/10/2024 11:08

Hello thank you. Yes she is middle rate I’ve applied for carers and just waiting. I just thought it would be a issue as I am working during school hours they may ask why I can’t continue. But thank you it’s good to know I can do that.

OP posts:
Aliceb1995 · 16/10/2024 15:30

Hello there everybody I have a question regarding my daughter and her father

My 7 year old is autistic and has adhd and learning difficulties but has recently expressed anxiety and anytime we mention it’s daddy’s half term or weekend she cries, and says things that are concerning (just not neglectful enough).

My ex refuses to see the disability, and says she’s well behaved and eats everything. I and school will say this is not true. So either a mask is up or she is terrified of him. I can’t see why she would eat and behave otherwise. She is very argumentative and only has about 10 sage foods, has voiced concerns that daddy cooks yucky meals and if she doesn’t eat that she has to wait till the next meal (sometimes korning so overnight) I worry that as this is common practice for those with neurotypical children, I don’t have a leg to stand on if I go to court with this. As he is feeding her but she is refusing. When she goes for half terms it’s usually a week- 3 weeks (summer) we split them all and he has fortnightly weekends. I am the custodial parent however and I see the effect going to his has.

she says she doesn’t want to go anymore, more on half terms, weekends don’t seem to have as much of an effect. We don’t have a court order in place and with her age and disability I am wondering if I would be able to say no to half terms but keep weekends the same. It isn’t doing her any good and her refusal is getting worse with age.

she has mentioned a few things like , daddy never does anything, never takes us anywhere, only cooks yucky food and let’s her stay up late.
this ruins the school week ahead and even more so with the long period of times she goes. With half terms she comes back, quiet, silent doesn’t talk and won’t stop eating and drinking for days.

i see no sign of neglect but I do see signs of disability neglect he doesn’t take it seriously and refuses to listen to me and ifnofes and says ‘I see nothing worn’ each time I mention a concern and threatens full custody every time.

but as she ages I see a decline and increase in her anxiety and behaviour as she gets older.

what can I do. We’ve done mediation twice for different reasons and they never stick. I can’t afford court or another mediator but I can’t let my child go on like this especially since she’s lacks concept and understanding. I want to just let him have weekends but take away half terms, maybe keeping birthdays and Christmas alternated every year so she has that experience with him.

if I do this can he do anything about it

will this end in court will he win?

OP posts:
gamerchick · 16/10/2024 15:33

You're earning too much for carers allowence but you would be able to claim the UC part instead.

Tbh it's massively harder as they get older. I'm clinging on to my job because I'd crack up without it. But it would be so much easier if I quit.

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